Adjusted Age or Actual?

[SIZE=10pt]I have been reading almost all the posts, especially any on sleeping and have gotten some great information. I went out and bought HSHHC, and am trying to read through it. (when I have a few extra minutes )

Here's my question. My DD and DS were born 5 weeks early. They are 16 weeks, but only 11 adjusted. Should I be trying to get them into a sleep schedule? I have been trying to watch their cues for naps and such. DS has been doing pretty well. Although he is a lot easier. I can put him in his crib with his binky and he'll fall asleep within 10 minutes, usually without fussing. DD needs/likes to be held until she falls asleep. Sometimes even after she's asleep we put her down and she wakes up immediately.

Bedtime is another story. We've started our bedtime routine at 6:45...Bath ~ Bottle/Nursing ~ Bed. DS was doing really well, now he goes to sleep for about 20 minutes and then wants to be up for another 45-60 minutes and then he's down for the night. DD on the other hand doesn't go to sleep until after 9:00...no matter how early I start the process. Any ideas? Once they get to sleep they usually sleep about 11 hours, waking up twice for about 15 minutes to nurse/bottle.

I guess I'm just a little confused on the whole adjusted/actual age. Thanks to everyone in advance!!

April [/SIZE]

 

Hi April -- good to "see" you on the other side! :wavey:

We've done a loose 3-hour eat-wake-sleep schedule since the babies came home from the hospital, with LOOSE being the operative word -- meaning, if they're clearly hungry before 3 hours after the last feeding, I'll feed them, and never hold them off until a certain time. Or, if they seem tired earlier than expected, I'll put them down for a nap.

Here is our current schedule --

9am -- Wake and eat, go right back down to sleep

noon -- Eat, playtime

1:15pm -- Nap

3pm -- Eat, playtime

4:15pm -- Nap

6pm -- Eat, playtime

7 to 8 pm -- Short catnap

8 to 9pm -- Wake and do tummy time, baths, stories, lullabies

9pm -- Eat, and bed


Now, this gets pushed around some, depending on what my 3-year-old is doing around bedtime. Often the babies are in bed closer to 10pm. Sometimes they wake up closer to 8am. And, the 4 to 6pm naptime can be fitful.

But, contrary to HSHHC, I've found that they are happy, giggly and playful late in the evening, and love to sleep in the mornings, which is fine with me! I don't know if this is a genetic thing, as DH and I are definitely both wired that way, and my older one was like this as well -- or if we just foster this, because it works for our family.

Either way, this schedule is working great for us. (DS was still waking once at night to eat until a couple weeks ago, but now both sleep through.) Hope that helps!

 

My schedule with Dax is a lot looser than with the girls. I think it's because this is my 2nd time around. With the girls I had everything set to be done at specific times. With Dax, I basically feed him every 3 hours and put him down for a nap within 1.5-2 hours of waking. That works well for us.

 

Definitely go by adjusted age! And I wouldn't bother trying to get them on a schedule. Keep them in sync with each other for you own sanity, yes. Schedule, no. (I don't know how so many moms come up with the idea that babies "should" be on a schedule!) It sounds like you're doing all the right things - watching their cues and putting them down when they're tired. Keep up the good work!

 

For sleeping I would go with adjusted age. They are a bit young for a schedule IMO. Give it about a month and things will be drastically different.

Rachel

 

I hear you on the confusion about whether to go by adjusted or actual age. I'm always questioning which to go by. My girls are 17 weeks actual but 9 weeks adjusted. Like Alison I follow the very loose schedule of sleep-eat-play. They stay awake for up to 2 hours (usually 1-1.5) at a time. On their own, they seem to think bedtime is 9, as this is when their feeds stretch. One of my girls will sometimes sleep through the night; the other eats once during the night at around 1 or 2 am. They wake up at 6 and 9 for feeds but quickly go to sleep afterwards until about noon. This is great because this gives me some time to get things done, like sleep (as I am NOT a morning person). After noon, though, it gets crazy around here!

It works better for us to have a loose schedule because then I'm not thrown off by doctor visits, physical therapy appointments, etc. I think the main thing is for THEM to know what's coming next (i.e., I just woke up, now I'm going to eat!)

 

For a 35 weeker, I would look at how they are doing overall. My boys were born at 36 weeks, we never used an adjusted age, and they were on a 2 nap, 12-13 hour at night schedule at 3 months old.

 

For development, you need to consider them 11 weeks for everything....feeding, sleeping, crawling, rolling over, etc. My guys are 10 months, but developmentally, right on target with 8 month olds.

 

I always went by adjusted age. It was much more comforting to know they weren't super behind.

 

HSHHC says to go by adjusted age for sleeping milestones. And to each his own, but a schedule is what has saved my sanity! I think they are at the age where you can start trying to go by a schedule, but just don't be frustrated if it's not clicking yet, they're still young. My 35 weekers finally got on a true schedule at 6 months (actual). (That's also when we did CIO with DS...) Just give them every opportunity to sleep...we were only sleeping in swings at that point. I miss my swings....

 

[SIZE=10pt]Hi Becca :wavey:

Thanks everyone! I really appreciate the responses. I think DS is adjusting to the 'schedule' that I'm trying. DD on the other hand isn't quite there yet. Not sure if it makes a difference or not...but she is quite a bit smaller than her brother. DS is around 14lbs pounds and DD is only 10lbs. Do you think that would make a difference?

April [/SIZE]

 

Yes, I think the weight does make a difference especially when you are talking about 4 pounds. Metabolically your DS should be able to go longer between feeds, but when they are that young I just feed em when they were hungry. Could be every 3 hours could be earlier. Also if he is taking in more at each feed, he might be able to fall into a sleeping pattern a bit quicker.

Rachel