ADHD moms...

So we've been in denial that Jack is possibly ADHD for awhile. We've joked about it and I read the book "raising your spirited child" and it seemed written about him! Fast fwd to school...he does well...amazingly well considering all the other things he does during the day (whistles, touching other kids, talking) so when we went for their 6yo check up I mentioned it to the dr. He didn't seem concerned by he's doing well in school however the guidance counselor FINALLY was able to observed him today (we had him put on extra behavior plan about a month ago to curb some of the social behaviors) and he was off task for 55% of the 30 mins she observed him.
So they want to send home stuff for the Connors attention rating scale and a quick google leads me to believe we are headed down the road to rule out/confirm ADHD.
Any advice? I really really really don't want to medicate him, it will be a last resort so if anyone has any other tips Id greatly appreciate it!!
And fwiw we've not tried any diet eliminations because he seems to behave the same way whether he's hopped up on sugar or sick and hasn't eaten for days.

 

I'm not a mom of adhd, but a para who has worked with multiple kids with that diagnosis.  
 
Diet elimination can take time.  It doesn't hurt and might help, but it's a whole lot of work. I can tell you that for my own son, food dye triggers off a lot of behaviors.  Keeping my son eating no or minimal amounts of food dye makes a huge difference for him.  Even though he's not adhd, diet counts for a lot.
 
Meds aren't the end of the world.  They may be helpful.  They may have unwanted side-effects.  You don't know till you try.
 
There are many things that might help.  Each child is different, but the off-task 55% of the time sounds like every morning that I spend at school.  Routine is the biggest help.  Doing the same things in the same order helps all of the kids that I have worked with.  Also, building in incentives and breaks.  We have a sensory room at school where we can go for breaks where they can go jump on the trampoline or dig in the sand.  We try and build in those moments for them to just be their own little selves.  We give them the chance to earn play money that they can spend on things.  If we're doing tests or assessments, we'll pull them into as boring of an area as we can find and test them with as few distractions as possible.  And usually a reward for trying hard.
 
So I guess that means my advice for school would be to make sure that he gets an iep.  That would start allowing those accommodations and probably some sort of para support in the classroom.  The para would able to help keep him on task and modify work-load if needed.  They would also likely be the one to make sure he got incentives/breaks/testing by himself.
 
I don't have experience with it day-to-day at home, but I would say to keep working on socially appropriate.  We have a little boy in the neighborhood that's adhd and his dad lets him roam the cul-de-sac and go through other people's garages while dad stays at the street and laughs.  They tend to use the adhd as an excuse not to discipline.  I don't think anyone thinks allowing that is in the boy's best interest.
 
Marissa

 

We're in the process of getting Alice worked up by a psychiatrist because of this.  We have two working diagnosis, Anxiety and ADHD.  We're not sure if the anxiety is causing the ADHD or the other way around.  I'm thinking it's the first. 

 

One of mine has it, I've known he has it for years but we just recently got him officially diagnosed and on medication.  He had the same troubles in school that you mentioned, his grades were fine but he was off task a lot.  The tricks that Marissa mentioned went a long way to help him for awhile.  Routine and keeping busy/staying challenged.  Unfortunately this year his grades started to plummet and that's why we decided to get him on medication.  Also his bad behavior at school was coming home with him and making our home life miserable.  So he's on a small dose of Ritalin once a day. It's made a huge, huge difference.  He gets his first progress report today since he started the medication so we'll see how his grades are, but just emotionally we've seen a huge improvement.  I know within 5 minutes of him coming home whether or not I forgot to give him his pill.   I was against medicating him for a long time but it just came to the point where he has to be medicated to pay attention and sit still.  

 

We are having one of the twins evaluated.  I was at first going to have a hard time if they recommended medication but then I talked to one of my mother's former students.  She was diagnosed with ADHD at age 10.  Now in college looking back she really wishes she had been diagnosed earlier and that her parents had put her on medication earlier.  The medication doesn't change the child, it doesn't make them less, it doesn't make them different from who they are at the core.  She still has to use behavior tools for organizing etc.  But the medication made her life 110% better and she is now a successful nursing student. 
 
I am keeping a completely open mind.  I am not going to bulk if medication is suggested. 

 

There is no reason you have to go immediately to medication.  In fact, in the long term, behavior management techniques are just as effective for ADHD as medication.  That doesn't mean medication wouldn't be helpful in addition, but I would caution jumping immediately to medication as the solution because it DOES have side effects (reduced appetite, sleep disruption, etc.).  Ask the school for an intervention plan or IEP first and see what helps first.

 

We are also starting this process with one of my girls too. 

 

Thanks everyone. We got the Connors rating questionare home today from the school so Ill have dh help me answer it for monday
Thank you for the suggestions rissakaye, I'm sure we will go with some modifications before trying any meds. It's just helpful to know what others have done and helped!

 

Another thing that might help, for home or school, is to look at what he's sitting on.  There are a variety of "wiggle" seats/pads that you can use.  Some people do things like replace the child's kitchen chair with an exercise ball. We've also done that at school.  There are also wiggle stools that are seats that wiggle, but won't tip. Or there are inflatable seat pads that you don't inflate fully to give that wiggle motion to.  The wiggle motion seems to give that part of their brain that needs to stay busy something to do, like make sure you stay balanced.  That sometimes will allow the rest of their brain to be able to get work done or eat dinner nicely.  At school, I'll allow kids to stand up to work and a lot of them sway back and forth.
 
About the meds.  I've honestly seen it go both ways.  I know kids that when they are correctly dosed on the right meds, the meds kind of put a filter in place that makes them pause before they are up dancing on a chair in music class with their shirt over their head, shaking their butt at the teacher.  It in no way diminishes their fun-loving personality, but helps them pause and reconsider.  I've also seen kids, dosed incorrectly, that are zombies in the morning and bouncing off the walls by the end of the school day.  I also know one who honestly couldn't find a med that helped.  Her eyes would be closing like she was falling asleep, but her fingers would still be racing and tapping.  
 
I really do hope you find something that works.  
 
Marissa

 

So we filled out the papers and they came back high risk for ADHD and ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) so we went to see our ped today. He agrees (seeing him in full go go mode) that he does have it and left it up to us as far as meds go. I love that he didn't push it or even was quick to talk about it so we went with some advice from him (set clear rules-#1 is he is not to defy us, stick to close schedule, and most important positive reinforcement and rewards for doing it the right way). He said at any point if he starts feeling down about himself, falling behind or getting into loads of trouble that we just call him up to reevaluate meds or new strategies

 

 
 
So your pediatrician is willing to do the med management or do they have a developmental ped or child psychiatrist as part of their staff?  

 

They (peds) would do the med management but we are not going that route as of yet. He did mention that therapy/counseling seems to help kids too but at this point Jack isn't bothered by any of it (no down on himself feelings or anything like that) that he didn't feel he would benefit from it. They're not part of their staff but we have them in our town that they could refer if needed. The school has a psychologist and a great guidance counselor that I think he could talk to if we needed to too.

At this point (esp late in school year) we are just really going to work with him on qppropriate behavior because he isn't having any trouble at school (just behavior/social trouble). We're just worried as the schoolwork gets to be more and faster moving he might fall behind.

 

Okay, Alice has been on her medicine for five days now. The good, she has become more compliant, but not too compliant, she's actually enjoying things like swim class and the after school care. The really good, she's at about 80% intensity and is carrying on real conversations with children and adults. The anxiety has almost disappeared. The interesting, she's not sleeping as much, but doesn't need as much sleep and she's waking up in a good mood. The bad, she's not eating, and she's a skinny kiddo to begin with, and she's not reading as much. I'm not sure if the no reading is because she has nothing new to read or if it's because it's spring break or if it's because she's lost interest in reading.

I'm glad we went with medication, the first day she said, "I want to be on this medicine forever." I asked her why and she said that it helped her "be the kid she's supposed to be."

 

My son that's on medication barely eats while he's on it too.  We only give him a small dose in the morning to get him through the school day.  He eats like a bite of his sandwich for lunch.  He typically eats a regular amount after school and on the weekends.   

 

Yeah, I have to decide about weekends because the medicine helps so so so much with her anxiety, she is literally a different child, not paralyzed or angry about everything. She ate pretty well this weekend with me asking her to eat, if I can get her to eat a big dinner or breakfast, I'll be happy.

 

Unfortunately, a loss of appetite is a very normal side-effect of the meds.  I don't know that there's a good answer for how to help that.  I think that every kid I've known and worked with on the meds, there has only been 2 that haven't had that side-effect.  
 
I'm glad you all have found something that helps and works for you.
 
Bex-  Maybe Alice was reading so much because that was her coping method.  She read because dealing with people was too hard and frustrating for her.  Now that dealing with people has gotten a bit easier, she doesn't feel the need to read so much.  Just a thought.
 
Marissa

 

Bex, I'm so glad to hear your great outcome!.

 

I'm so happy that Alice is happy!!!  As for the appetite, thats a known side effect, but your doctor might have some suggestions for you.  

 

I have adhd. (currently unmedicated let me tell you it sucks) Meds were the only thing that helped me. It took FOREVER to find the right combo but once we did I am a completely different person

 

I know this is an old thread, but I wanted to chime in.  My DD is ADHD.  I was extremely resistant to placing her on meds.  I pulled her out of school halfway through the second grade and her teacher told me it was the best choice if I wasn't going to medicate.  It is really hard to learn when Johnny two rows over moved and now your mind is nowhere near school.  We lasted until the start of 6th grade before I had no choice but to put her on something.  She literally couldn't read a page of text and remember what was on it at the end. 
 
The difference in her learning was very apparent.  She went from having to be forced to read to flying through the Harry Potter series in a matter of a couple of months.  She always comments about the music in her head turning off when her meds kick in.  Looking back, I kind of wish we wouldn't have held out so long.  Remember that if you wait until the child is failing to determine that they need help, it might be too late to help the self esteem.
 
My DD has to eat a full breakfast before she can take her morning meds (which have to be in by 7am or she won't sleep at night).  At the beginning, forcing lunch down her throat was a daily event.  On days she really couldn't eat, she had to at least eat a container of full fat greek yogurt.  Now that she is a little older, she can force the food in herself.  She understands about nutrition and the need of calories and knows she needs them to do tae kwon do.  Normally by dinner her meds are worn off enough that she eats.
 
Weekends and holidays are off meds for her.  No anxiety to deal with though (or homework care of the homeschooling), so what works for us won't work for everyone.  I use those breaks to pump more calories in.  We joke about her being a bottomless pit on the weekends.  She needs it though because even though we are really good about getting her to eat, she still struggles not to lose weight while taking it.

 

Thank you Jenn. We are squeezing through these last few weeks of school and his teacher has really cracked down on him to prepare for first grade (which means more "strikes" at school). I'm debating trying him on something this summer or just let it be and see how the first few weeks of school go? I will not let him fall behind because I don't want meds...I'm not that anti-med. Its just a lot of his behaviors are social stuff that he just needs to mature....how long that will take is anyone's guess?!

 

My kiddo who was tested for ADHD and is now getting tested for autism this summer is taking a social skills class via speech pathologist. You might check around with private speech providers. Mine does not need speech but he he does need to work on pragmatic speech and social skills. It is once a week but other classes were several times week. There were even some camps offered at different locations that would focus on social skills. Not limited to autism. I signed him up per the speech pathologist before we had ruled out ADHD. Something to consider or look into for the summer to brush up on social skills before school starts again in the fall.

 

My daughter takes most of the summer off of her meds. I wouldn't bother trying anything out over the summer unless his behaviors at home are really off the wall or if he is going to be in a daycare situation.

 

We've recently done a bit within the school to help with behaviors. We filled out the ADD/ADHD parent questionnaire and our boys were so opposite in answers it was kind of funny.

The school psychologist met with me and we came up with some individual supports for the boys- a reminder at their desk customized for them, a special cushion for their chairs to help with wiggling and being mindful that they need movement breaks.

Thus far the interventions have been really helpful- they haven't had any bad days since implementing the changes and more good days have happened.

 

Thought I would update. We made it through school with getting strikes just about every day up to the end. Home has been awful. We feel like we're picking on him because we're constantly having to yell at him and reading this summer has been awful! So we started today on a low dose of Focalin, hoping it helps because we got a discount card from peds that made it cost $0. Just want my boy to not be so frustrated with the whole world most of the day:/

 

I hope it helps! I know of others who waited and waited and then said it was best decision once they went the meds route. Every family/child is different. Hugs to you-and him! Update again with how it's working.

 

So, it's been two weeks, how's it going?  With Alice we noticed a difference almost immediately.  And now when she doesn't get her Quillivent, she is an absolute bear to be around.   For two or three days after missing a dose.  I'm like, "how the hell did we deal with this for so long?" 

 

2wks and not noticing any difference. I actually didn't give it to him today and definitely no different. He did seem to bounce from thing to thing as the focus was really the only thing we thought might've been different. But he's just as frustrated and impulsive and the noises. OMG the facking noises!! He's just constantly making spitting noises, high pitched chirps/screams, really just anything. I told my sister if people didn't know him and saw his behavior they would probably think he's autistic!

 

Don't give up hope - there are lots of different kinds of ADHD medications and sometimes it takes time to find the right one.  Lots of the kids I work with have good results from Adderall or Vyvanse.

 

So we had follow up today and dr said since it was lowest dose and he had no side effects we are going to up from 5mg to 10. We can up it again if we don't notice a difference but once we hit 15mg he might suggest something different. Think he said vivance(?). So tomorrow we start with the 10, let's hope it helps because we've got a month until school starts and I just want him to enjoy it!!

 

We tried a low dose of Focalin with one of my twins and it did nothing to help.  He is not diagnosed ADD but has a visual motor processing disorder that presents with some focusing issues.  I changed his curriculum to something that better suited his needs and never tried another med. 
 
DD started on Stratterra and it definitely helped.  Unfortunately, Stratterra turned her into a monster.  It has taken a few dose changes to find her happy spot on the Adderrall.  This is all to say, don't give up.  Some meds work with some kids, some don't.  Some meds have nasty side effects for some kids but not others. 
 
Hopefully you guys can find the right combination for him before the school year starts up again.

 

How's he doing now?  We're probably going to change Alice before school because she's complaining about the taste (it's liquid) and even though we've increased her dosage, her behavior is ugly in the morning.  So I'm going to get her some sort of pills so she doesn't complain about the taste.  Wish us luck!!

 

So far he's been doing well. No more noises and bouncing in people's faces. I want to keep it as low dose as possible for now so we will see when school starts sept 1 how he does. So far no side effects except decreased appetite but it seems mostly at lunchtime so I'm not too worried, just have to find some high calorie snack he likes, he's skinny to start with so I don't want him losing

 

 
Can you tell me more about this?  Visual motor processing disorder?  And what curriculum are you using for him?  One of my girls was just officially dx'ed with ADHD, inattentive subtype but her issue seems focused on reading tasks. Her diagnosis will allow her some school accommodations, but I'd like to augment her school work at home too to play to her strengths and help her with her difficulties.  Thanks!

 

Visual Motor Processing is something like hand-eye coordination.  Many times, there is a disconnect between what the brain sees and how the body reacts.  My neighbors son has this, and as a result has difficulty with handwriting--and most other physical tasks.  He is an excellent swimmer, but does not do well at most other sports.  It can be more complicated, but that is the basic idea.
 
I am late chiming in here, as one of my boys was diagnosed with ADD 2 years ago.  He is unmedicated, but he is also an honors student in school, with grades above 90's and the teachers don't report any major behavior issues.  He does have a 504--generally kids with AD/HD don't get IEP's but get 504's instead.  The 504 allows for accommodations in class and is designed to deal with issues based on medical needs that affect learning.  His 504 is perhaps one of the shortest, and only has two lines, one to not give oral direction changes--they must be written, and to give notes as needed to study for tests as he tends to zone out once in a while and will miss things--it is so inconsistent that the notes make up for it.
 
Glad to hear the meds are working out, and like others said, sometimes it takes many different attempts before you find the med that is right for your child,  Oh, and when they grow, or hit puberty, you may have to start all over again...