ADHD Help - information?

Hi - I'm Michelle, pretty new here - I've been here before, but haven't been super consistent. I'm hoping to change that, I thought the challenges of twins (vs. singletons even close in age) would diminish as they aged, but they, like each year of life just bring a different set of circumstances. That said, this has nothing to do with them being twins :blush:

My twins (fraternal boys) will be 7 1/2 in about 3 weeks. They are in the 2nd grade. This is their 3rd school in 3 years. In Kindergarten they were in the same class and both "acted out" together - so yeah, the twin thing. But it was a private school, so there was only 1 k-garten. In 1st grade, we moved them to public school because they clearly needed to be in different classes. Sure enough, one of them (Andrew) straightened right out and the teacher clearly enjoyed having him in class - yeah, he was still a 6 year old boy and with my husband gone 2 months at a time, there were still challenges, but she rolled with it and he had a great year. The other one (James), not so much. He rarely came home "green" which means no specific disciplinary stuff. He most often came home having lost recess time (which - I completely disagree with as a punishment for young boys). He only wound up in the Principal's office once - but was the step below several times. Not for anything "out there" just EXCESSIVE boy stuff - KWIM? :unknw: yes, out of line, but still even *I* could follow his thought process. So this year and the 3rd school, I made a clear point of making sure he got a teacher who was good with boys - specifically active boys.

This year Andrew, is again, doing fine. After 6 weeks of fighting, he comes home, plays for 30 minutes does his homework, and moves on.....

Just yesterday, I got back from a meeting with the teacher and principal. She has been teaching K-3 for 30 years, and of all the teachers that James has had, I actually respect her opinion. The other 2 teachers were young and had come down to Kindergarten and 1st Grade from 5th and 3rd - big changes in development there. They say he continues to act outside of "normal" parameters for even active 2nd grade boys, and want him tested for low-level Aspergers. He's very bright - he's reading for school at a mid to late 3rd grade level, but his teacher puts him closer to 5th grade reading level. But he rushes through school work and tests, and has recieved a 70 on 2 tests he should have had a 100 - the teacher re-tests him, because even she knows he knows the stuff, just can't be bothered.

He has 6 of the 9 of each of the levels - well, maybe 5 of the first level. He CAN and DOES focus, when he wants to. But won't stay in his seat at school. Doesn't listen to adults he doesn't know AT ALL (field trip last week - not good). Mostly wants to be a grown up so he can do whatever he wants to do (as IF - wouldn't THAT be nice - no more cleaning bathrooms for me). But then, this morning, he on his own sat down and read for 15 minutes.......

I feel like a horrible parent - but his brother seems fine, so it can't be all me. Can it? :drown: oh, for the sleepless nights and newborn days....they were hard, but that was just sleep deprivation - this hurts my heart.

I guess - do any of you have 1 twin with ADHD or

 

Your son sounds quite a lot like mine. My two are in 1st grade and my daughter is a model student. My son rushes through work when he knows it, doesn't follow directions, etc. He has gotten behavior warnings every day this week. His teacher knows that he can make the correct choices and do well and I've asked about having him tested for ADHD and she says that for now we should hold off because of getting adjusted to being in school all day. That being said I trust her judgment because she has been a teacher for about 10 years and said that Connor is a "normal" 6 year old boy. She said we would re-evaluate after the 2nd quarter to see if at that point we should have him checked.

 

Hi! Welcome back!

I am sorry that your son is struggling, but it sounds like he has a teacher who really has his best interest at heart. But, to begin with, they don't test him for Asberger's, that is a medical diagnosis, which the school is unable to give. What they can do, is test his IQ and academic levels to see if they match or there is a discrepancy. Part of the eval will contain a social eval which will look at his behavior, that is usually a checklist that is completed by his teacher, you and his doctor. If they feel, at that point, that he may have Asbergers, PDD-NOS (which my friends' son has been diagnosed with, but that child is in the highest reading group--4th grade level in 2nd grade--my son is in that reading group as well, which is why I know), or AD/HD, he will be referred either to your pediatrician or a neuraldevelopmentalist for further evaluation.

To me, an evaluation is a no lose situation. If he doesn't need any help, then you know for sure, and if it turns out he does need some help, he will be able to get it. Believe me, we have done the rounds with one of my kids, many times!

Another thing that is often misunderstood is the idea that children with AD/HD are never able to focus. That is simply untrue. Many of them can play a video game for hours, they can focus when it is something that fully interests them. The problem is, they are unable to focus on demand. For example, my friends son is diagnosed with ADHD, and is currently unmedicated. He is currently in a low reading group. His teacher says that it is not because he can't read, but because he can't focus long enough to answer the comprehension questions (he is in 1st grade, and my friend is planning to speak with his doctor about possibly medicating him since his ADHD is interfering with his ability to complete his work in school). But the same child spent an hour yesterday building Legos with my son.

Good luck, and feel free to PM me with any questions.

 

Thanks Sharon - good to know, yes, the evaluation forms is what they were talking about. I have his appointment set, just need to get a sitter for the other 2. and Yes, focusing on DEMAND is definately an issue for him. I'm not sure what PDD-NOS is guess I'll go look it up. I may have more questions as we go on. I'm hoping whatever it is we can address it primarily by diet - I hate the idea of having to give him drugs.

 

Michelle, PDD-NOS stands for "Pervasive Developmental Disorder--Not Otherwise Specified", in otherwords, a catch term for very high functioning autism--as is Asbergers. Not trying to diagnose your son, but it is a term that is usually used in conjunction with Asberger's and autism. For what it is worth, a speech therapist during an eval told me that she thought Jon was autistic--he was 3, took 2 sessions to complete the eval, climbed under tables, etc. The Neurodevelopmentalist said that she would have come up with an autism diagnosis if all she had was his paperwork. But, upon meeting him, she knew he was not on the spectrum. He has since been diagnosed as "having the behaviors of an extremely gifted child"--my boys are 1 week older than yours.

If he is ADHD, you are more likely to find a result through behavior modifications than diet. For some children medication is very necessary. I know many people who didn't want to medicate, but did as a last resort, and wished they had done it sooner--one of those kids is now a freshman in college, but struggled very much until his parents decided to try medication. So while medication should never be the first option, it is an option when other techniques don't work.

Keep on asking

 

I would def. do the evaluation process.

As a teacher I do think ADHD is over diagnosed. I think that a lot of kids that choose not to behave end up with the diagnosis and then it becomes an excuse not to behave. With kids who are like you son (diagnosed as ADHD or not) the goal is to teach them to learn to live with their impulse control issues, and how to focus. Often this is working in small time increments with a reward for achieving whatever small goal is set. Do one page of math and then take a break and run around. Do one page of something else and play video games for 10 minutes. Eventually the work period becomes longer.

At school the teacher can give him stars for small increments of time. Then you and the teacher can set rewards for having a certain number of stars in a day. Ask him what he thinks his reward should be. Make him involved and responsible for his behavior. Find a carrot to dangle.

I have a nephew who is in the same boat (or worse) than your son. My SIL was told that by 3rd grade the normal school would no longer be able to meet his needs (he is in 2nd right now). His current teacher is doing the small increment, reward system and it seems to be working a little but her really should have been held back in either K or 1st (she wouldn't do it because my twins are 6weeks younger and are thriving in 2nd). I also had a ton of friends in college that were diagnosed with ADHD and these were tools/ideas on how they managed.

 

My nephew has ADHD and I found the book "The ADD and ADHD Cure" worked better than any medication ever did. http://www.amazon.com/ADD-ADHD-Cure-Natural-Hyperactivity/dp/0470072687/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1260680437&sr=8-2

Definitely get the evaluation to check it out. If he does have ADHD, there are other treatments available. I think children with this disorder are seriously overmedicated.

 

Thank you - I just ordered this book. I'm going ahead with the "full evaluation" but from reading all the things they are tossing out ADD or ADHD make the most since. I read the kid descriptions - and it's my son. He does "naughty" stuff and ALWAYS gets caught..he just doesn't think about the consequences - lives in the moment....only focuses when he wants to..and never stops moving - unless he's focused on something he wants. And usually, he voluntarily puts down his DS in less than 30 minutes.

Thanks so much for your help