ADHD and ID twins

Hi.
I am looking for some advice from people with identical boys with ADHD. My boys are four, and one was recently diagnosed with ADHD. My other munchkin is not nearly as "hyper", but I am going to have him tested as well, and am pretty sure he will be diagnosed that way as well.

They are both extremely bright, funny and athletic. But they are constantly in motion, and when they get each other riled up, my anxiety goes through the roof. I wonder if that is more of a mom of twins problem than a mom of ADHD kids problem.

Anyway, I am looking for resources, advice, help, etc... to manage things. I was a fifth grade teacher before my boys were born, and am staying home with them for at least one more year. I actually teach a child development course at the local college, and am really good at explaining this stuff to OTHER people. But when it comes to my own boys, it sure is different!

Anyway, help, please!
Thanks!

 

Hi Rachel,

Welcome to Twinstuff! :sign0016:

QUOTE
am really good at explaining this stuff to OTHER people. But when it comes to my own boys, it sure is different!


Oh, I hear you! Of course, when the children being discussed are your own, it is YOU who are dealing with the daily hassles, the loving moments, the dragon hours, and the gnawing anxiety of a parent. Makes it a whole new ballgame, doesn't it? Don't worry, you've got plenty of company! :love0028:

Let me give you some links to some books that may be helpful:

The Gift of ADHD: How To Transform Your Child's Problems Into Strengths

Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder from Childhood Through Adulthood

The Wonder of Boys:

The first two are for coping with ADHD (the Edward Halloway book has been out for several years and is considered by some to be a classic); the third book is a wonderful book which helps a mother of boys understand what makes boys tick. It isn't written simplistically; the author manages to convey what is so special and important about all that energy and spontaneity and for me, as a mother and a woman, it helped me be calmer about my boys' apparent frenetic energy; it will excite you about all the wonderful possiblities that lie ahead for your boys!

Arg...have to run and pick up my twin boys but will check back later to see if this is the kind of resource you are looking for or if there is some other way I can help. Mamakim, also the mother of 3 sons, will no doubt have lots to add, too!

Good luck!

 

Renée, as usual, you are a veritable fount of information.

 

Thanks.
I have read Raising Cain, and am currently reading The Everything Parent's Guide to Children with ADD/ADHD which is excellent. I am a big reader, and will definitely read the books you suggested. Thank you.

I guess I am looking for some tips on managing the temper tantrums without screaming, handing the moments of mania when they are so riled up that my anxiety level scares the **** out of me.

My DH wants me to buy a new mini van, even though nothing is wrong with mine, so that the boys would be in captain chairs, rather than right next to each other on the 2/3 bench. They get so rowdy and wild in the car, I want to pull my hair out.

Don't get my wrong. I love my boys more than anything. They are fabulous, smart, athletic, and gorgeous.

I need to say some good things about them now, so I don't feel like all I am doing is complaining!

They learned to swim with no bubble over the past month. We just took off their training wheels and they are almost there. One of them is almost reading. They are hysterically funny and creative.

Okay, I feel better now.

Some tips on keeping my sanity I guess.

Thanks for listening!

 

QUOTE(Jake and Nick @ Aug 8 2007, 02:03 PM) [snapback]361757[/snapback]
My DH wants me to buy a new mini van, even though nothing is wrong with mine, so that the boys would be in captain chairs, rather than right next to each other on the 2/3 bench. They get so rowdy and wild in the car, I want to pull my hair out.


Before you make a new van purchase I just want you to know that my kids are 5.5 years old and we have a Ford Freestar, which comes with captain chairs. However, captain chairs WILL NOT solved the problem with your kids. They will still be able to reach each other and annoy each other and be wild. I can empathize - trust me. I have a 1-1.5 hour commute each way and I would literally be in tears by the time we got home.....that is.....until Santa brought a portable DVD player for the van. I am not one to use TV as a baby-sitter, but when it takes up to 1.5 hours to drive 25 miles I have to pick and choose my battles.

 

Thanks!
Actually, I called every junk yard in the area and found captain chairs for the second row of my minivan! My husband drove 1 1/2, paid 150 dollars for them, and cleaned them up. They look like new. I am so excited! Now only is there a space (though I hear you that it may not solve the problems), but they can now seat belt themselves! The seatbelts on the bench seat were lousy and would slide back into the seat so they couldn't do it themselves.

We do use the DVD player in the car, but I only let them use them for trips over an hour. But even on those short jaunts, they can get out of control. Part of me wants to let them use it all of the time, but I try to limit their tv time, and I also think the tv time adds to the hyperactivity.

I do have playlists on my IPod just for them, and they love it. One of our favorites is the Stones, "You Can't Always Get What You Want", which I sing to them frequently when they aren't pleased with my answers!