Accosted in a parking lot

I just feel sick. I hate confrontation with people.

So here's what happened. I took my two to the market today. The parking lot has a lot of traffic, and at this time of day, a lot of elderly people driving with a lead foot. I always park as far away from everyone else as I can, and I park over the line so I take up two spaces. I was getting Gia out of the stroller and into the van when this man storms up to me and tells me that I really need to learn to park and to stop taking up two spaces. I thought he was kidding, so I smiled at him and said "Oh, I can park, I actually parked like this on purpose. Otherwise, people don't notice the two rear facing and one forward facing carseats I have in my car and park too close to me, and then I can't get my children in and out. I have a set of twins here and I need to be able to get them in and out safely when I am by myself." He gets in his car. Then he pulls up next to me, and rolls down his window. He says to me in a nasty tone "You know, I was able to do it with small children, you should figure out how to manage it or you're going to be a lousy mother." :shok: So I said "You really think a good mother would leave one baby parked in a stroller behind her vehicle, in the traffic lanes, where at the very least she can't even see them, while she gets her other children buckled in? I am not going to risk the life of one of my children because you think the way I park is inconsiderate. Furthermore, I think you are a most unpleasant person and I believe you are setting a bad example for your child (he had an older teen with him). Is it really ok to confront a woman alone with small children in a parking lot, or anywhere for that matter?" Then he tells me I need to drop my put on phony accent or get back to acting class. So I raised an eyebrow and said "Really? Really? I couldn't have possibly moved to California from the South???" At this point he squealed off (driving recklessly I might add). I do know that the more upset or angry I get the worse my accent gets (drives my husband up the wall )

It kills me 'cause I can always think of such great things to say after... Ok, I feel better now. I was just thrown for a loop.

Thanks for letting me vent!

 

:hug: I´m sorry you had to deal with that, it´s not pleasant. Men are the worst too especially when we are alone. I´ve been there too. I bet you he wouldn´t have said a word if your DH had been with you. Good for you for sticking to your guns. Also, maybe the people who design these car parks will start thinking about us mums one day!

 

Why do people have to be so crappy sometimes?
I had a similar run in with a very unpleasant older lady in the parking lot of my grocery store a few months ago. She wasn't going to return her grocery cart so I offered to put it back for her, which I was actually trying to be nice. But I guess she thought I was making some kind of dig about her not putting it back. She called me a few choice words slammed her car door. I couldn't help but think what a miserable unhappy person she must be. I was steaming mad at the time but then I thought that she was driving away (flipping me off, I might add) and she was even more mad than I was. She probably went home and fumed for the rest of the day (or week)about the crazy #$%^# she ran into at the grocery store so I figured my best karmic revenge was to not let it ruin MY day. The more I thought about it, I thought it was just sad that she was such a wretched person.
Hope your day gets better!

 

I'm sorry that guy was so rude But I have to agree that when parking lots are full and some cars take two spots, it's a bit of a pain. But I agree that he could have been much nicer trying to make his point.

 

Hmmm... while I think he was totally inappropriate for acting like a total a$$, I personally can't stand it when people take up two spaces. ardon: I would never say something like that, and I sympathize, I've had two rear-facing carseats, and don't have nifty sliding doors, and some people just park way too close (I have had to just stick the kids in the car unbuckled and move to another spot so I could reach to buckle them). And now I have three to buckle in, get the baby in and out of the stroller, yada yada. But with the market being crowded, I can kind of see why someone would be mad about someone taking up two spots. Again, he didn't have to be an a-hole.

 

Sorry that happened to you, people are so rude! I hate when people park too close to me, I hadn't thought of taking up two spots. I might have to try that.

 

:hug: Sorry you had to deal with such an a-hole. Sometimes I feel grateful for living in a small town where at any point in time the parking lot is no more than half full. Still my DH prefers to park on the very back edge of the parking lot ^_^ A lot of it is to be able to get the girls out of our [COUPE].

I hope your day gets better!

 

Oh no, the parking lot was nowhere near full, there were no less than 100+ spaces around me, and many more closer to the store available. The parking lot is busy because people cut through it to avoid lights. I would never use two spaces if the parking lot was crowded, but it was about 10:30 in the morning and a whole five people were in the market.

 

Oh OK, I gotcha. So you were parked far away from the other cars. Yeah I don't see why he gave a flying fig how you parked!

 

:hug; I am so sorry! That guy sounds like a real butt , your response to him was great. People are so rude. I usually try to park far away from everyone else when I have the kids with me and it never fails that I as I am trying to unload them, someone either parks next to me or behind me and I have to move the stroller with one twin still in it out of the way. One time DH and I were leaving K-mart and loading up the back of the minivan with both of the kids in the stroller next to us and sure enough this lady pulls in behind us (mind you, there are a zillion parking spots open and closer to the store) and sits there and we both turn out and she gives this sarcastic smile. We just took our time unloading everything and getting the kids in the car, so she sat there for a bit. People!

 

frankly, I'm rather impressed with what you did have the clarity of mind to tell him in the moment. I just don't get people sometimes- and of all people to take it out on-- guess he thought you wouldn't fight back and just be sobbing or be guilted into moving- sure picked the wrong mama bear...good for you (pats on back). there's no emoticon for this so...[walks away rolling eyes, says "people" under her breath].

hugs to you for getting through that. I'd have to vent a lot, to a lot of people over that one.

 

Where I live, taking up two spots is a cardinal sin; people will slam your car doors or key your car. Of course, parking is often hard to come by in this area.

I think it was nice that you actually explained what you were doing. Maybe if he listened he would have been a lot more understanding. He was definitely being an a$$.

I had a similar experience the other day in a store bathroom. I wheeled the double stroller into the bathroom (which was behind two doors for some reason), and parked the boys. I then wheeled them to the place by the door to wash my hands, and a sotre employee can in, and inadvertently hit the stroller with the door. The door was 3/4 of the way open before hitting the stroller, and she was clearly through the door. I very politely excuse me, and she angrily said, "you're not suppose to have those things in here." I said, well I don't really have any choice, and she mumbled something back. I just left, but I don't know if she wanted me to leave the boys alone outside the bathroom door(s) because then I would be wrong for leaving my 13 month olds alone.

 

I am sorry that he was such an ahole about it. But way to go for saying what you did.
About a week ago I took the 3 kids to Chik-Fil-A for lunch, the one here has a huge indoor playarea for kids. I'm trying to load the boys into their stroller and Savannah's rule is to stand on the yellow line and wait. So I get one boy in the stroller and am getting the other one. I didn't realize it but a lady moved the stroller a little to get into her car. And the whole time I am strapping him in she is STAREING at me because she is ready to pull out of the spot. Tapping her fingers on the steering wheel. So as soon as I get everybody ready to walk inside. I moved behind my van so she could get out and not have to wait on us to walk to the sidewalk. She speeds out of hte parking spot and pulls out the wrong way and really fast. Now what did I do to her except maybe inconvience her for about a minute.

 

oh, that totally sucks! and, i think you responded really well! i'd have been swearing by that point, i'm sure..... you were brilliant!

btw, i LOVE the idea of two car spaces. i will have to remember that the next time i can't find a really big spot, or one next to the handicapped, etc. i also shop at non-crowded times.

take care and don't give it another thought,
jl (your so cali neighbor!...i'm in la la land, btw)

 

GEEZ, what did he care anyways!! Especially if there were a gazillion spaces left. What a Moron and like you said great example in front of a teenager.

I always park away from everyone. It is easier to get the twins in and out without someone right next to you. Good for you for standing up to him!!!!!

 

What an ahole! You handled it great though.

Makes me remember when the twins were little, we used to live in Northern Ontario, and the local mall had that pregnany mother/new mother parking in the parkade where you were under cover and close to the doors of the mall. We always parked there, and one day when leaving the mall, DH saw a woman coming back to her car in the mother parking. She was AT LEAST 55yrs old. He calls over to her " Congratulations. When are you due?" She snaps back at him, " How do you know I'm not pregnant?" He laughs and says "Cause your old enough to be MY mother!" She slammed her car door and peeled out. I just about wet myself. He was my hero that day LOL!!

 

What a jerk. Don't let him get to you. You did nothing wrong if there were plenty of available spots and you parked far away.

 

:hug: I don't know what I would do in that situation but I think you handled it well. So sorry you had to deal with that - I don't know why people are so rude sometimes!

 

You poor thing !! I don't think I could think that quickly to say something. He must be so proud of himself for accosting a woman in front of his son/daughter. I would have been shaking after that ordea.. I hate when EVIL people ruin my day. Next time scream "POLICE POLICE" it might get rid of him sooner.

Heather

 

:rotflmbo: :rotflmbo:

 

You ladies have all made me feel so much better. Thank you . I always struggle with not letting someone elses negativity make me feel bad.

 

That guy was rude. I'm so sorry you had to experience that. I totally understand the worry about a stroller parked behind a vehicle while trying to unload. . . so many people fly through parking lots or don't know how to back up safely. I worry about the same thing and don't blame you for double parking.

(I'm still trying to figure out if he was making fun a Southern accent. I'm from the South, and I'm sick of transplants assuming we're all stupid and they can walk all over us just because of our native accents. What a jerk without manners! If we're all so ignorant, then why are there so many people from all over the country flooding into our Southern universities like Duke, Wake Forest, UNC, etc.?)

I think you handled it well, but sometimes I find the best thing to do is listen and then just turn my head away without responding to the jerks. That guy was a jerk!

 

Interesting I've never heard the Leave Your Small Children Unattended Outside the Bathroom Rule before either. Hmmm...

MamaD - I'm impressed with how well you handled it!! Good for you!!

I've also had the experience of someone waiting very impatiently for the spot right next to me when there are a ton of empty spaces in the lot. Honestly, they could have been parked and inside before I was done loading my kiddos if they would have just parked a few spaces further from the door. I think it's sad how many rude and impatient people we run in to on a regular basis!!!

 

oh yea - and I just take my own sweeeet time then!