Accidents

So my son has been potty trained since he turned 3, and he generally never had accidents (unlike his sister).  Then a few months ago he had a few accidents, which I put down to laziness, and I'll confess I reacted badly and shouted at him for it.  He was the one I could rely on not to have accidents, so I shouted.  Since then, and I'm sure my original shouting contributed to this, he has accidents on a regular basis.  He can go for a few days without having accidents, and then regresses.  After my original faux paus I make no fuss, gently remind him to go the toilet etc.  I have tried the bribery of a new toy if he doesn't have an accident for x number of days, but he always seems to regress.
 
So any suggestions, or do I just wait for it to pass and it will eventually get better.  I should say he is now 4 and 1/2

 

Just wait for it to pass. Put no pressure on him or yourself. Have him help you clean up the mess but otherwise avoid making it a "thing" at all. It will pass. I promise.

 

What Rachel said. I really feel like in he end I had little or no influence over potty training, so I wish I had sent less time worrying . They figure it out, and regression is very common.

 

My 6 year still has occasional accidents when he's waited too long. Maybe once every few months now. When he was 4 it was probably weekly.

It will pass. Be calm. And hang in there!
Also, is he constipated? Accidents are much more common among constipated kids per our pediatrician.

 

Depending on the type of accidents, no, don't keep calm and let it pass. This advice that all kids figure it out eventually isn't always true. And it's really bad advice when it's not. Don't make it a big deal to him. Don't shame him, but talk to your pediatrician. There are medical issues that can cause accidents, particularly with respect to poop. I promise as the mom of a six year old with such a medical issue, who still has poop accidents at 6 1/2 and in kindergarten, that you would prefer to work it out at 4 1/2.

 

I totally agree. That's why I threw in the constipation comment. If you think there might be poop issues, call the doctor.

 

And even pee accidents can be due to constipation.

 

I know it is frustrating and I agree with the ladies above, I would have him checked for constipation.  He could be having a poop every day and still be constipated.  Barring any health issues, regression is normal even in kindergarten, I've heard some parents discuss their kids having accidents and they've been PT-ed for a while.  I went through regression with my daughter when she was 4, I believe and in her case it was she did not want to stop what she was doing to go to the bathroom.  So, I would just tell her that you can basically put everything on pause and resume playing when you are done and she got past that.  I also like the idea of having him help you clean it up.  
I used to tell my kids that pee and poop like to go in the toilet and they don't want to get on your clothes.  I don't know why, but for some reason, that resonated with them.

 

Thanks all.  That helps to reassure.  I do wonder about the constipation, his are only wee accidents, but he is more of a pobble poo (TMI) type guy, so I've got him on a probiotic to see if that will help.  But if it continues will definitely speak to my pediatrician.  My daughter on the other hand has poop accidents, which have largely passed apart from when I forget that I shouldn't let her have orange juice! 

 

Two of my kids take fiber on a regular basis because of being constipated.  I was shocked when I heard my oldest was 'stuffed up.'  He is one who would sit down and be done pooping in 10 seconds flat.  Not all of it was getting out though and he'd have a poop accident every 2 weeks steady.  I felt so bad.  I would look into that angle.  I know how frustrating it can be to be going through. 
 
 
Could it be an attention getting scheme?  Even negative attention is attention.  Just a thought.