There once were two munchkins named Nick & Joe Who insisted on doing everything, but were slow...slow...slow. Independence is in demand, Now they've got the upper hand, Mommy thinks she's gonna blow. Sigh... we've officially hit the Independence Phase and mommy is getting frustrated. The frequency/intensity of their tantrums has grown exponentially in the last two weeks since the onset of this lovely, unchartered territory. They are so desperate to do everything on their own, but simply aren't able to do a lot of what they want to do. Furthermore, they can't articulate what they want and are usually too frustrated/mad to even say 'help' before the **** hits the fan. I know its a phase...I know it will improve as their abilities/language improve. Any advice for survival while in the thick of it?
You already have the sense of humor required to get you through. That and a healthy dose of venting now and then (a cocktail doesn't hurt either) and you're golden! Welcome to the club! :banana:
I don't have much advice other than "it does get better." I just have to say, though, that whenever you mention your boys being anything less than angelic I have such a hard time picturing it because they are SO dang adorable.
boy oh boy does debid have some stellar advice!!!!! I'm sure you already are, but be sure to give the room for the independence they CAN handle. Like choosing what to wear, "Do you want your striped shirt or your truck shirt today?" We keep things like juice and milk in smaller containers that they can pour themselves, maybe something like that would work with cheerios or something? So they can try doing it alone with little help and little mess I'd love to say this phase gets better, but we're still in it! The only better part is that now they CAN do a lot for themselves, and I'm glad we've let them learn that. I see moms all the time who do everything for their kids and for me, that would just be exhausting!!! LOVE the limerick, by the way!!!
The only advice I have is sometimes if I let them think they did it themselves, that's enough. Or do something that will speed it along (like when they want to buckle their high chair, I put the buckle together and then they push). It can be really frustrating sometimes!
I have actually found that the "me do" phase is not as bad now as it was from ~18-20 months. For us at least, it seemed like at 18 months it suddenly dawned on them that they COULD do things by themselves, and they wanted to do everything. Now, they are more content to let me do some of the things (like put on their shoes). And the things they still want to do themselves (like buckling their carseats), they are more capable of now. So the whole thing is not as much of a hassle. But for times when it is a hassle, my coping strategies are: - Take a deep breath (literally -- not metaphorically) and relax your shoulders - Remember that they won't be this cute when they're 12 - Leave yourself plenty of time - If you DON'T have plenty of time, do what you have to, and let them have a tantrum -- it won't kill them - If they're really stuck, say "Can I help?" For whatever reason, this seems to work better than "Let me help you." And this too: QUOTE The only advice I have is sometimes if I let them think they did it themselves, that's enough. For example, with the carseat, I say "I'm just going to hold this piece for you so you can do it yourself." Then I surreptitiously close the buckle while they "push." As far as giving them choices where you can... This sometimes backfires for me, so I use it sparingly. If I just pick out a pair of pants, half the time they will wear them with no objection, whereas if I ask them which of two pairs they want, it can turn into a 15-minute agony of indecision. And re: the frustration: This has also improved along with their communication skills and overall maturity level. Now, if Amy is getting frustrated, I can say "Slow down and try again" and it sometimes works. (Not so much for Sarah yet, but she's also not as independent.) Then, when they do succeed, I give them lots of praise, not just for succeeding, but for being persistent.
QUOTE(SweetpeaG @ Jan 2 2008, 11:35 PM) [snapback]555409[/snapback] There once were two munchkins named Nick & Joe Who insisted on doing everything, but were slow...slow...slow. Independence is in demand, Now they've got the upper hand, Mommy thinks she's gonna blow. :rofl: That was good! You have gotten some great advice too! :hug99:
LOVE the LIMERICK!!! (Although I was hoping for a line "There once was a dame from Nantucket" in it - can't win em' all!! :laughing: When you have the time (like not when leaving the house) try to let them "do" most of whatever it is then give them choices where applicable. It's hard to think of and get them out before the melt down begins, so try to think of some for different situations when it's calm. (That's hard too!) See if there are ways you can help them without them really thinking you are (sorta like husbands - we plant an idea and they germinate on it, then they think it's THEIR idea and they LIKE it and DO it ). Find things they are GOOD at doing themselves and encourage that at times when it's calm. Heck, Siri - I don't know what in the cotton pickin' world I am talking about! I hope you live through it and yes, I agree with Deb - a cocktail doesn't hurt! :drinks:
A lot of good advice (especially the cocktail). And I love the limerick! Meghan is a very "I do it myself" girl and has been for quite some time, Nolan would rather have me do everything. Just let them do some of these things themselves, within reason, and you should satisfy their urges! Good Luck!!
QUOTE See if there are ways you can help them without them really thinking you are (sorta like husbands - we plant an idea and they germinate on it, then they think it's THEIR idea and they LIKE it and DO it ). Hee hee hee! Thanks for all the tips, ladies. I have actually employed Alden/Kelly's "just let them THINK they did it" tactic several times in the last 24 hours....works like a CHARM!
