a few things I wish I would have done differently

Hi Preggie Mommas!

I've just been thinking about a few things I wish I would have known, or done differently when the babies first arrived. Of course this is totally my own personal opinion, no right or wrong, but I thought some of it might be helpful to someone

1. Get the babies' footprints taken in the hospital. Maybe it's just where I live, but they no longer do this for birth certificates. They offered to do it for like 10.00, and I thought, is it worth it? We can do it ourselves! Wrong! It took us until the babies were 7 weeks old to find the time to do their footprints, and I wish we would have done it when their feet were so so tiny. I also ordered the clay imprint kit and took their handprints at 4 weeks which are precious.

2. Don't make plans for visitors (other than very close family) those first few days home from the hospital. It was fine for us to have visitors IN the hospital, but we limited it to 1-2 per day b/c we were so exhausted and I honestly was feeling quite lousy after my C. But when you get home everything is so new and overwhelming and emotional. Some friends offered to drop off dinner the night we came home, well it turned out they brought pizza over, their toddlers over (runny noses), and had a pizza party with us. It was way too much and we both cried afterwards.

3. We made a sign for our door a few days later (my sweet dad did actually). It had a pic of us from the hospital and a note about the fact that we were doing well but still recovering, and asked visitors to wash their hands when they arrived and stay away if they were at all sick. Also we asked them to keep their visits to 15 minutes. This way we didn't feel like we were calling anyone 'dirty' when we asked them to wash their hands, and if we wanted someone to stay longer we could mention it. This really saved us.

4. If you can (I had to learn the hard way), try to give in to the fact that your lives will revolve around the babies for a while. I had a hard time letting go of things I wanted to do (errands, emails, seeing people, etc) and didn't fully embrace those early weeks. It's hard b/c you're functioning on minimal sleep, but just this week I 'gave in' and decided holding the babies and caring for them was the only thing that really mattered in the big picture. I don't want to look back and feel that I missed any snuggling moments with my precious little ones. You can't get the time back

5. If you have the strength, try to write a little journal during your hospital stay, or dictate to your spouse...I tried a couple weeks after I got home and I know I already forgot or confused half of the facts, but it was better than nothing because by now I would have forgotten so much more.

6. Of course all the usual stuff, take naps, accept all help, encourage your visitors to help with things you really need (laundry, dishes, etc), and enjoy some special private time with your new family.

7. One more thing, not everyone experiences this, but don't be too hard on yourself when things get TOTALLY frustrating for you and you have moments where you feel like you're going to LOSE IT. I spent a whole day in tears during the second week, mainly due to no sleep, but also because I felt so guilty for feeling resentful toward one of my babies when she would constantly scream. My mom came over and I drove to Target and spent 2 hours there doing who knows what, just to get out. I know now that I was going through normal emotions but I felt like such a loser of a mom at the time.

Best wishes to all of you! I never thought I'd really make it through my pregnancy and have these precious babies in front of me...it will happen for you and it will be here before you know it, and then it will be hard to imagine your life before twins. It's the best.

 

such wonderful advise - THANK YOU!

 

I should have mentioned, there were several things I was glad I did do....

DO take advantage of the lactation consultants in the hospital, let them know from day 1 that you want to see one during your stay.
DO buy several bottles of antibacterial gel to put all over the house so guests will see it and (hopefully) automatically know to use it.
DO have someone take a pic of you right before you deliver, if possible, your final belly shot
DO bring in a video camera, your hubby can handle one camera and the anesthesiologist (at least in our case) can handle the other. It is so worth it!! You don't have to video certain parts but you want those babies when they first emerge.
DO bring flip flops to the hospital b/c you will be HOT.
DO have someone else pick up the prescriptions for you the day you get home, poor DH had to do this and shouldn't have been out in his state
DO know that if you have a C, while your DH is with the babies you will be pretty much alone in recovery unless you have someone else there...I was so glad my parents were there b/c I was feeling pretty funky after the surgery.
DO insist (if you want) to have your babies brought to you before their baths and unnecessary procedures/tests so you can have some skin on skin time and try BFing (if you choose) within the first two hours.
DO know that there are snacks on the hospital floor at all times (like sandwiches) and you should be eating and hydrating every time you BF. It took til day 4 for the night nurse to tell me this and teach me to take care of myself.
DO try to get some rest in the hospital, for us that meant sending the babies to the nursery for a few hours at night which was comfortable for us b/c one baby had fluid in his lungs and needed to be watched anyways. You need the rest to recover.

OK, I'm sure there's tons more but I should get to bed while the babies are sleeping

Maybe others can add to my list!!!

 

Great advice!!

My hospital doesn't do footprints at all! I just ordered babysafe ink and will be doing that hopefully this weekend!

I wish I would have spoken up more about BFing right away and getting a tube to attach to my breast for Maya instead of letting them bottle feed her formula - they did this right after I delivered as she had blood sugar issues

Luckily we haven't had too many visitors, only this week people are asking, so that was nice. It would have been way too much to have visitors the first few days home!

And #7, yep. Mine have their fussy period from about 5 pm-12am. Today it started at 2:30 though and DH is at work during this time. It is very difficult for me and I cry a lot. It is nice knowing that others went through this. It can be very overwhelming!

Oh, and start pumping in the hospital every 3 hours to build your supply!! Make sure they get you an LC too!

 

That is all such wonderful advice Jen. Thanks for sharing it.

 

Thank you for the advise. It is good to hear from someone who has already been there.

 

Thank you for all that!!! Now to get my DH to read that!!!!

 

I thought it was just standard to take their finger and feet prints. I've never seen it on a birth certificate though.

Forgentally, I am lucky I guess, that the hospital took their hand prints and their feet prints for me. I don't think they asked my husband, but they probably figured I would want it for memorial.

When all of my friends have had their kids though they always had the feet and hands done, but I didn't ask them, if the hospital asked them if they wanted it. I just assumed. Sorry you didn't get their tiny feet. But knowyou will rememeber it always.

 

thank you!!

 

Great advice! Thanks for thinking to write the post....

 

Best thing we did.....we are self-employed, so DH had to go back to work quickly (within 3 days of coming home) and we put a big sign on the door that said, Please do not disturb...new mom and twins are resting. Other than our parents, we didn't want ANYBODY over and somedays not even then. I had a terrible kidney infection 2 days after I came home from the hospital (after having a c-section), so I was really tired and out of it.

 

When my son was born, I put a sign on the door that said "New baby is sleeping - Please do not ring the doorbell unless you need a signature." My hubby runs a business out of our home, and the delivery services (DHL, UPS, etc.) will often just ring the bell to let us know they dropped a package off but then they bolt for the truck and drive off. I got so PO'd when it would wake the baby and I wasted time shuffling to the door only to find out they didn't need the signature.

As for video cameras, make sure you check with your hospital first. Ours does not allow video taping of the delivery (although they did allow still photos).

#5 - a journal: I kept a journal starting from the moment I got to the hospital for the induction all the way through discharge. Unfortunately I can't find it. So make sure if you do this, you know where you put it.

Definitely good tips! Thanks!

 

Thank you for sharing these tips!

As the end is nearing for me, I enjoy getting everyone's thoughts on what they did do or wish they had done!

 

Such good advice. On day 2 in the hospital we had a constant stream of visitors all day long (since we had twins and knew a few of the nurses they let us stay the whole 3 nights in a big L & D room, which unfortunately gave our visitors lots of room so at times there would be 8 or so visitors at once) and that night I just cried from being so overwhelmed. I had the LC in there manipulating my boobs in front of visitors too, how fun is that. and yes, they do have food available all day long which I too didnt find out until the last day. My best advice would be no visitors at all and know that there is food available cause you will be hungry BFing and the DH won't be to happy when you ask him to get you a snack in the middle of the night.

 

I'm glad everyone is adding to the list

The footprint thing was funny, the hospital (major hosp in San Diego) no longer does it but a private company comes around a couple times a week to do it. We turned it down b/c she came on day 2 and we were fried, and we were told she would return on day 4 and never did.

 

This is a most helpful thread! Thank you!

 

Thanks for the great advice!

 

7. One more thing, not everyone experiences this, but don't be too hard on yourself when things get TOTALLY frustrating for you and you have moments where you feel like you're going to LOSE IT. I spent a whole day in tears during the second week, mainly due to no sleep, but also because I felt so guilty for feeling resentful toward one of my babies when she would constantly scream. My mom came over and I drove to Target and spent 2 hours there doing who knows what, just to get out. I know now that I was going through normal emotions but I felt like such a loser of a mom at the time.

Thank you so much for saying this. I have 10 week old twins and this week has been the hardest for me for some reason. I have felt like such a loser mother and woman because I was frustrated, resentful and ungrateful to be a parent this week. I just said to myself this morning that if they are clean, safe, fed and loved I have done my job and need to let go of all other things that are getting in my way. Hopefully others reading this will be able to let go of things earlier and just let it be what it will be and know that you are doing your best and that is good enough.

 

Thank you for the advice. It is always nice to have a heads up on things! I also had problems with #7 with my DD #1. I felt like I was the world's worst mom. I was so tired from bfeeding. It ends up that she went into the hospital soon after that for a month and was allergic to milk. So I don't know if I will have the opportunity to bfeed the twins. It looks like they want to put them on the hypoallergenic formula that DD was on.

 

I second everything the thread starter says!!!!! I counldnt have said it any better

As for the footprints, when they were doing them while the babies were in our room I made DH run over to the nurse with our baby books & ask her to do it - she said they normally dont, but he had the books open to the right page as she was doing it & just did it anyways & I am sooo glad
Now at 3.5 months I can't get them to stay still for a second - I wanted to get their hand prints, but it was IMPOSSIBLE!!!!! wiggle worms....and they keep their little hands balled up most of the time!!

I wish I would have been a bit kinder to myself in those first couple of weeks instead of trying to be superwoman and take care of everything and still do the laundry/keep a somewhat clean house (ridiculous....dont try to do this!). When people would stop by I would automatically feel like I needed to be awake/alert/attentive and a hostess which was exhausting.

Be nice to yourself Happy momma =s Happy babies!

 

Thanks so much for all the advice. Great thread!!!

 

Great advice...especially the one on the journal. I did this throughout my twin pregnancy, bedrest, hospital bedrest and NICU time. I have a 30 page (single spaced) printout for them! It's the best thing I did. I did it with my singleton pregnancy too, only it's not as long...lol!