6 Week Old Twins - Survival Strategies Needed

Oh goodness. We're at the six week mark!

My partner and I have been shift sleeping to make sure we each get about 5.5 hours of sleep a night. One shift lasts from 9PM to around 4 AM and then I get up from 4 AM until 9 AM to be with the twins. We've kept their feedings staggered since with one person watching them it seems easier to feed one and then the other. I'm going back to work in ten days and the shift sleeping isn't going to work anymore since I have to be at work at 7:00. I've read online that six weeks is about the time to get babies on a schedule - is it too early and how do you do it without killing your partner?

We tried last night to put the boys down together with a routine: Bath, Bottle, Lullabies. We got them settled and to sleep and they are going about three hours between feedings. Last night we got up together when one boy cried, woke the other and fed together. It went pretty well for the boys, not so much for the cranky parents involved. So, my questions:

1) How early is too early for a schedule?
2) What are some techniques you use for one person bottle feeding both twins at the same time?
3) Does it really get better? I'm exhausted and I can't imagine life changing any time soon. I love these little guys but they're wearing me out!

 

OK first things first.. it DOES get better. It take a while for most twin parents but it DOES get better.

OK now for the other questions.
You can start shaping a schedule at 6 weeks but depending on when they were due they may not be at their actual 6 week mark yet (if they were premature you need to adjust).
As for feeding them together with just 1 person. Prop them in a boppy or two (right now one boppy for both babies should be sufficient) and hold the bottles. Or hold one baby and prop bottle against you while propping one baby on the boppy and holding the bottle.

It really does get better. Once they start sleeping longer stretches it gets a bit easier and having them on the same feeding schedule ensures that you'll get rewarded with longer stretches of uninterrupted sleep.

 

I will second that it DOES GET BETTER! It gets AWESOME!

As far as schedule, our twins have been on one from day one. We spent 11days in the NICU so we have them to thank. We kept them on their same feeding schedule as the NICU. I ALWAYS fed them at the same time. Girl otherwise you are not ever going to get sleep. And for us if one woke to feed and the other didn't we woke their little self up. For me the way I fed them in the middle of the night on my own was I took one of our bed pillows, didn't have boppies yet, and sat up in bed with my legs crossed indian style(crisscross applesauce I think is what we are suppost to say now) and layed the pillow in front of me. Layed the babies next to each other and held their bottles. here's my oldest showing how we did it

and once again it gets better. I promise!

 

We had a friend that suggested to us to keep the feeding and diaper changes on the same schedule to help you get some down time. If everything is staggered then you dont have down time. You and your partner will need to have time together too and you wont be able to do that on opposite schedules. Also, with my oldest, we read The Happiest Baby on the Block and used a lot of those techniques with her and are working on using them with the twins. It isnt prescribed like some other books, so there is some flexibility with the way you implement things. Right now we are making sure to swaddle and shhhhh...that is working very well and we will be doing the bath night routine once both belly buttons are good! You are on the right track!

 

This doesn't directly address your questions, since DH and I did it differently, but FWIW here's what we did until about 8 weeks:

We considered "night" to be from about 8pm to 8am (or later if we didn't have to go to work). We took "on duty" shifts but both got up for every feeding and then switched off, so the shifts were fairly short. For instance, we might get the babies down to sleep around 7:30, and one adult would go to bed in the bedroom while the other one cleaned up and got ready for the next feeding, then crashed on the couch. When the first baby (it was nearly always Amy) woke a few hours later, the parent on the couch would go get her and just hold her (I figured out a way to doze on the couch while holding her) which usually kept her quiet for 30-60 minutes until Sarah woke up. Or if Amy really went ballistic before Sarah woke, we woke Sarah up.

Then the "on duty" parent would start the bottles heating and go wake the other parent. We would both do the feeding (I just hated doing feedings on my own and would never sleep through DH doing one anyway) and get the babies back to sleep, then switch places, and whoever had been on the couch would be "off duty" in the bed until the next feeding.

I remember that I was getting about 6 total (not consecutive) hours of sleep with this system. I went back to work part-time at 6 weeks and full-time at 8 weeks, and I was exhausted but functional. I'm not sure how this would work if you have to be AT work at 7:00, but maybe you could just adjust it earlier and go to bed at 6:00 pm!

I never really understood how one gets babies on a schedule. Ours ate roughly every 3 hours, but the actual times were different every day -- and it was something they just fell into, not something we imposed on them. However, at least they were more or less on the same timing since we always fed them together.

You are at the hardest part right now! They're still newborns and things are changing every day, but the novelty is starting to wear off. Our lives were a LOT more sane by 3 months -- I was still exhausted but we at least felt human. It was also around that time that DH and I found ourselves, one night, with half an hour to just talk -- having some confidence that the babies would sleep for at least 4 hours and we didn't have to jump right into our respective beds.

By 6 months it was so, SO much better. I also didn't believe my life would ever change, but it did. The most important thing (in retrospect) is that it doesn't get better because of anything you do or don't do -- they just get older and their sleeping and eating becomes more predictable. Your job is just to survive till you get to that point. :hug:

 

Congratulations on your twins! I know it sounds cliche, but it does get better , hang in there. You got great advise so far. I just want to add a different way we use to feed both in the same time, we put them in their bouncers on the floor facing the couch and the person feeding them seats on the floor in between the bouncers with their back against the couch and feeds them both in the same time.

Also, I went to work at 10 weeks and it's not easy in the beginning, it takes a toll on you emotionally. In time you get used to it, and trust me, at least at work you get to sit down (at least I do, I have a desk job).

Good luck with everything!

 

6 week olds are the hardest, IMO. I 2nd the Happiest Baby on the Block. We did feedings at the same time, too. I needed to not feed someone for 24 hours straight. If one was hungry, both got a meal. I also went to bed after nursing them around 6 or 6:30pm each night and my DH would do the nightshift from 6 to 1am (waking me when they needed to nurse). Then 1am I was on until the 7amish feed when we'd all get up. If you have to be at work at 7 you'll have to adjust that to be earlier, obviously.

Hang in there- day by day they grow and change until you suddenly realize that they are on a schedule and sleeping. :youcandoit:

 

For us, the Gina Ford (Contented Baby) schedule was a life saver! The kids had "night" from 7pm to 7am, we woke them at 10pm to feed and then at about 3 months, they slept the rest of the night. To have 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep made all the difference. I know the routines are pretty off-putting to many, but maybe it's worth looking into? And yes, it does get better!!

 

I referenced Happiest Baby on the Block and mainly Baby Whisperer.

What worked for us... SWADDLING! We started swaddling (again) at 5.5 wks. Immediately they dropped their 2a feed. soon after they dropped another feed and by 8 wks they were sleeping 8 hrs. and it kept going until they got to about 12 hr nights.

swaddle tight so that they cannot get out.

Baby Whisperer also recommended having a "start" time for each day. We chose 7a. And would actually wake them if they didn't already wake. even now that's about the time that they naturally wake for us. starting at 7a would kind of start the day over if we'd gotten off track the day before.

White noise is another big thing. turn it on loud and sush in their ears if they need it.

good luck!

 

oh and the EZ-2-Nurse nursing pillow works great for bottle feeding if you turn it over... it's like a big boppy that they can lay in football hold - and you can hold both bottles and they are right there near you.

not sure if it's a good long-term choice or not... I nursed but my dh would use this method on his own sometimes.

 

Thank you all for your kind words and ideas! We tried a different tactic last night and each took turns feeding - the boys are in our room at the moment in a cosleeper. Whoever was 'on duty' took the boys next door to the nursery and fed them in their car seats at the same time, changed them, swaddled them and brought them back to the cosleeper. We still had three night feedings, but we're going to keep with the swaddling and see if we can get the times between feedings a little longer

Again, thank you!

 

Lots of good advice here! Let me just say that this product was a lifesaver for us:
http://www.amazon.com/Hands-Free-Bottle-Holders-Monkey-Kitten/dp/B002U50V7U/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1299786522&sr=8-2

Your twins may be a little young for it. I started using it at about 11 weeks.

Things really got better for us at 2.5 to 3 months. The girls started sleeping through the night (up between 4:30 and 6:15am) and I started feeling sooooo much better!

 

I had seen these and I think they are genius! I will be getting them for sure!

 

Six weeks was just six weeks ago for me -- we're at 12 weeks now -- and I remember how harried and exhausted I was. Hope it starts getting better for you soon. At 12 weeks we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and have already dropped one night feeding -- so I can finally say that it DOES get better!

Schedules -- we also were on a schedule from day one thanks to the NICU -- at 3, 6, 9, etc., we change diapers, feed, then put them back down within 1 hour to 1 and a half hours of waking. If one or both are asleep at the scheduled time we wake them. They really regulated themselves to pretty much be awake/ready to sleep during those time until about three weeks ago, and we are slowly figuring out how to adjust the schedule to their new rhythms -- but I will continue waking one when the other wakes up to avoid utter chaos during the day/night. It is recommended to do that in every twin book I've read so I feel pretty confident it's an okay practice. I do most of the feedings by myself, including the overnight one, as I'm off from work until May and my husband has gone back. We feed in boppies, both at the same time, and it works pretty well. We did get the Milk Maid Bottle Prop for times when I have to burp one but I'm not sure it's going to work for us yet -- the babies still have a hard time keeping the bottle in their mouths when I prop. I was taking them out of the nursery into the living room to do the 12 am/3 am feeding but I recently stopped, instead feeding them right in the nursery and getting them back to bed ASAP and that's made a huge difference -- they barely wake up during the overnight feeding now -- so if you can feed them in the same place that they're sleeping, that might help -- but I understand that might be difficult if you're co-sleeping and you want your partner to get some sleep as well.

I second swaddling -- we broke down and got Miracle Blankets (you can get them on Amazon) despite their ridiculous cost -- around $32 -- because we never could get the blankets just right in the middle of the night and the babies broke out of them inevitably. We love them, and they'll be useful until the babies are bigger and we don't need them anymore. We started with True Womb blankets, which were good when they were smaller, but are so restrictive that when they got a little bigger and older they seemed to really resent being so "locked down" -- those blankets really look like straight jackets! White noise was also a huge step towards them sleeping better -- my husband downloaded a track called Brown Noise from one of the white noise mp3s on Amazon and edited it so that it runs in a continuous loop for 2 hours, then put it on repeat on an mp3 player hooked up to a small speaker -- so it runs all night (that's probably overly complicated -- a white noise machine would do just as well!!).

Best of luck to you -- I can't imagine how hard it is to go back to work during this time period. You're a hero.