4 yr old tantrums... Help!

Our boys are 4 1/2. We have been separated since the beginning of august (thats when he moved out). Luke recetly started having awful tantrums at school to the point where the director of the school said if they continue we will need to find somewhere else for him to attend. The boys have been at the school since they were one and when they were three they put them in different classes because of their behavior... Feeding off of one another. Both children have always been very stubborn and extremely strong-willed... Since day one. Luke lately, has tantrums where hw is kicking and screaming. They are over things like not wanting to pick up, his friend getting to go to the gym and him not liking how another child stacked up blocks... Almost like he wants to be in control. He does not seem to have these awful tantrums for their dad or I. Yes, he tests us but it doesnt usuallu escalate terribly. His last tantrum at school he pulled a girls hair They are both intelligent for their age but Luke seems to grasp concepts a bit easier. He can already count to 100 and write out his name, mom and dad. Has anyone seem similar behavior? I talked with their dad about seeing a child paychologist or something but he is not keen on the idea. Any suggestions would be great!

Whoever said terrible twos did not have my kids... This 3 and 4 yr stage has been the most trying because they both know how to oush limits!

Kristen

 

That's so tough! it sounds like he's seeking out ways to control, maybe in response to the things at home that he can't control. it's too bad that the center can't be understanding of what he's going through right now. I mean, of course they have to set boundaries and have consequences, but you are all going through a stressful time. I think counseling is always a good idea during something like this. It will help them work through their feelings and get through it ok.

Hang in there.

 

Thanks for the encouragement Christel!
I just feel so bad for him He had another meltdown today and when I picked him up I asked him why and he said because he wanted to see me. Broke my little heart

 

I would suggest seeking counselling as this will help your children to maybe cope better with what is happening. Moving them to a new school will just add more stress to the situation. Keep on re-assuring them that you and daddy (not always easy) still love them (I am sure you do). Kids often feel that they are the cause of parents splitting up.

Wishing you lots of strength and wisdom.