4 year old attitude.....

:headbang: :grr: :catfight:

Please tell me I'm not alone Every. Single. Request...is yelled, screamed, or growled at me! Its like I have teenagers in tiny bodies! They are very capable of talking and have advanced speech/vocabulary yet I seem to be raising cavemen! On top of it they are OCD and right now JT is screaming and crying bc his snow overalls (like we have snow!?) straps are twisted and he can't get it off! Not like he can't just ask for help, he's whining and crying like its the end of the world and then when I help him, he starts saying "I don't care!"

Jack was like this about 6 months ago and seems to have matured a lot..as in, he can seem to calm quicker and can reason with him better...JT just seems so angry and rude! Even my MIL and mom and sis have pointed out he can say some mean things

I'm at a loss! Right now we do time outs and if they don't sit quietly/nicely they do another time out. It seems to work but he's right back at it!

Oh...and table manners...I've complained before and I'll complain again....my 2.5 year old..heck! my 1 year old niece seems to have better manners than my boys! If they don't like something they literally throw it off their plate no matter how many times we've explained just leave it there you don't have to eat it, this is always their first reaction. We punish by making them go stand at the kitchen counter and eat by themselves and this works...but their first impulse/reactions are driving me BONKERS!!!

And today we are going to a bounce house...not like they deserve it but I they need out of this house or I'll go beserk!

 

3 and 4 yrs old are the most challenging times. 3 yr olds are testing their boundaries and trying to figure out what they can get away with. 4 yr olds KNOW their boundaries and are testing to see if they can push you past them! It's stressful!!

Whatever you decide to do with them, be consistent. When I get yelled at, I refuse to help them until they ask me nicely. You want some juice, ask me nicely don't yell "ME JUICY!!!" Did you go poop and need your butt wiped? Then ask me nicely don't yell "MOM ME POOPED!!" :lol: It's a slow process. But my hubby and i are both consistent with this, and it's getting better.

I really try to pick my battles. If they don't like something and don't want it on their plate, give them a napkin to put it on. At this age they just don't want it on their plate because they might accidentally eat it

It does get better, but different ages will have different challenges

 

Oh man, do I feel you on this. Everyone here has very poor impulse control. Like Danielle, I do not address kids who are whining at me. If they say please in a nice voice I will give them what they want but even getting there is a struggle. It's exhausting, actually, but I do notice that if I am 100% consistent I get results.

If someone is sassing or backtalking to me it is an automatic time out. I have also found that taking away whatever toy or activity they're doing for a time out works too. Basically, they have to earn everything in life. If they want to play with toys, watch a movie, have a snack... everything they have to ask politely. It's getting to be more of a habit with them now, but they do regress when people are lenient with them. I frame everything as their choice too: "You can decide to sit and eat dinner or go to bed, that's up to you" or "you can have the cookie if you decide to ask me in a nice voice". Then when they do, it was the result of a good decision on their part.

The other thing that I have really started focusing on is just randomly picking out good behaviour and commenting on it. "I noticed you figured out XYZ for yourself, good for you!" or "Hey, you shared that toy with your brother, that was a good decision to make" or whatever. Then I feel like we're having more positive interactions and it's reminding them of the good behaviours they do have. It's also made me realize that it's not quite as bad as I think .

Good luck! I know exactly what it's like to live with two tornadoes.