4 month old babies

Hi,

I'm new here. I've been reading your posts since I was pregnant, but never dare to write. Now I find myself in the position of needing some advice from you twin mamas.
I have 4 month twin boys (they will be 4 months this Friday). I've had help right from the beginning. My mother and my MIL were both with us from day one. My MIL stayed for 2 months and my mother for 4 months. She just left last Saturday. Now I'm all alone and I find that is extremely difficult to entertain 2 babies. I change diapers, I feed them, bath them, put them to sleep. But when it comes to playing I'm a disaster. I try to entertain them as well as I can, sing, talk to them, tell stories while they are sitting in their bouncers, put them on the tummy, on the back to look at the toys, put them in a swing. And still they complain and get fussy easily if I leave them to do one activity. It's hard to play with 2 babies at once that want to do different things.
They didn't discover their hands yet and can't play with the toys themselves, so I have to be there all the time when they are not sleeping.

Please tell me how are/were you entertaining your 4 month old twins. I see that many of you have other children to tend to and I really don't know how you manage.

Also, how were your babies at this age? When did they discover their hand and start playing with toys?

Thanks

 

Hmm...while you had help was someone always holding the babies? Did they get much "alone" time on the couch or on the floor?

It kinda sounds like they've been held an awful lot and don't want to have to spend any alone time. That's a really tough habit to break out of.

My babes turned 4 months on sunday and they chew on their hands, they chew on their "blankies" (those small blankets with the heads sewn on them), and are pulling on their toys in the bouncer. Neither one is thrilled with the playmat or tummy time but I try to do it every few days anyways.

I'm glad you had lots of help but now that you are alone, you'll have to teach those babes they have to play a bit themselves, mommy only stretches so far! Can you try letting them fussy a bit each time? Like lay them on the floor to play (with or without playmat), and when they fuss don't go to them for a few mins. Next time make them fuss a few minutes more. Eventually it may teach them that they can in fact entertain themselves for awhile, but that mommy always comes back to us in the end!

:hug: Hopefully someone else will have some good advice for you!!

 

Oh and welcome to finally posting, it's good to have you here!

 

QUOTE(Danibell @ Jun 24 2009, 09:03 AM) [snapback]1366740[/snapback]
Hmm...while you had help was someone always holding the babies? Did they get much "alone" time on the couch or on the floor?

It kinda sounds like they've been held an awful lot and don't want to have to spend any alone time. That's a really tough habit to break out of.

My babes turned 4 months on sunday and they chew on their hands, they chew on their "blankies" (those small blankets with the heads sewn on them), and are pulling on their toys in the bouncer. Neither one is thrilled with the playmat or tummy time but I try to do it every few days anyways.

I'm glad you had lots of help but now that you are alone, you'll have to teach those babes they have to play a bit themselves, mommy only stretches so far! Can you try letting them fussy a bit each time? Like lay them on the floor to play (with or without playmat), and when they fuss don't go to them for a few mins. Next time make them fuss a few minutes more. Eventually it may teach them that they can in fact entertain themselves for awhile, but that mommy always comes back to us in the end!

:hug: Hopefully someone else will have some good advice for you!!



This was my thought too! Paterns are learned and behaivors can be taught. Also, with some one providing for their every entertainment need, they may not have wanted to be motivated enough to try things out for themself.... just a thought. gl

 

I'm so glad you posted! You should do so more often! Danielle has a good point about being held. I'm wondering if maybe you wore one (in a Snugli or Moby Wrap) while the other played (or you played with them). My boys spent a lot of time in their swings and bouncy seats at that time. I bought the playmat around 5 months and they liked that too. Mine were premiees so still slept a lot at that point. We did eat, sleep, play and playtime was usually only 30 mins (and included diaper/clothes changes). It sounds like you are doing all the right kinds of entertainment, but they may just need a little while to get used to not being held all the time. Hang in there and update us!

 

Hi! I'm glad you finally decided to post. My twins are 5.5 months old. They started holding toys well at 5 months. At 4 months they were starting to love the playmat and playing with the toys on their bouncy seat. I had a lot of help in the beginning too. It took awhile for them to get used to playing on their own. They like to lay on a blanket and kick. They like to lay in their cribs and watch their Fisher Price aquarium and rainforest soother. At 4 months we are putting them in the jumperoo. Now they like to be in it for 5-10 minutes to play with the toys, not really to jump yet. They like a lot of the little Baby Einstein toys you can find in the baby toy section at Target or BRU. They love the multi-colored ball. It's easy to hold. They also like the Take-a-Long Tunes. Soon your babies will be able to hold toys, which makes it a lot easier. They will be there soon!

 

I too had help for the first few months. Sometimes I think it would have been better had I done it alone in terms of not relying on other people. My girls were always used to being held and rocked to sleep. I'm just now starting to break them of this habit since it's only me now.

The girls have discovered their hands and are ust starting to hold onto their toys really well. They love the lamaze toys. I can just give them one of those and they can entertain themselves propped up in a boppy for a good 5 minutes.

Sorry I'm not much help. Just want to tell you that I'm right there with you.

 

Starting at about 2 months I started doing a lot of tummy time with them. At first they didn't like it, but I would get right down there with them and talk, sing, give pep talks, etc. until they were both crying pretty bad. Two months later, it's their favorite activity. I can get a good 30 mn. of happy babies, with me only checking in on them. They've really have only been getting into toys for about three weeks now, but that has made things a lot easier. I started trying to spark their interest by placing a toy in their hand. They would grab it, but didn't seem to realize it. Eventually they would shake a rattle for a few seconds, and seem to think that was neat. Now they go nutso for anything that has lights and sounds. My advice would be to keep putting them on their tummies. They will eventually get board with things like swings, but tummy time can lead to so many other fun things (like crawling). Don't feel guilty about letting them cry some; it wont hurt them, and getting frustrated might help them to learn something new. My first DD was a preemie, and was behind in her head control. I put her on her tummy every day, but she would just lay there contentedly sucking her thumb. A nurse told me to take her thumb out until she got mad. I felt like a big meanie, but I did it, and she soon got better head control. I guess where I'm getting with all this is, right now your babies might not want to do anything other than be held, but if you keep giving them opportunities to play, they will eventually like it and give you a break.

 

:welcome: to the First Year. I am so glad that you decided to de-lurk yourself :lol: You got lots of great suggestions. Post when you can.

 

Hi twin mamas,

Thanks for your responses and support. Sorry for the late post, I didn't have much time today. The babies were fine today. A little bit of crying when thy got bored with something and they were hungry, but otherwise they were great.

They were a little spoiled when their grandmother was here. I think it is hard for me because I had help for all this time and never had to spend an entire day with them alone. And also I miss my mother because I don't know if I'll see her again this year (we are from Eastern Europe and I'm in Canada now).

Anyway, I think it will get better as the days go by. One of them is started to be interested of his own body and also is grabbing his cloths and the toys that are on his tummy, watching them. Hope he will understand that those moving things are his own. They are chewing on their hands for a while, maybe because they got their first teeth about two weeks ago.

Thanks for listening.

 

Aww I'm from canada and live in the states, about a 3 day drive from my family, so I understand how it feels to not be able to see your family all the time!! :hug:

Yay on them getting some teeth already! I'm sure they'll get used to the new "routine" quickly and you'll see more happy babies every day!!

 

I want to let you know I feel for you. I had a somewhat similar thing happen to me, and it took me a month or so to adjust to my new life with twins. I didn't look after my babies until they were almost five months old since I was recuperating from their birth and complications of it. Until that point, I didn't even feed them or wake up with them during the night. So I was terrified when I finally had to care for them myself. I had it set up that the babies could go in their bouncy chair, jumperoo, swing and play mat and I basically moved them from one to the other all day long. They slowly started to interact with their toys, but until then they just laid there and cooed. My babies had a lot of attention while I was sick, so it was a big adjustment for them to go from always being given constant attention to having a weak, sick mom looking after them. I usually let them fuss a bit before I moved them from one activity to another and now my little girl is content to sit and play for an hour without much attention and my little boy plays for half an hour without much attention. Basically, it does get better but it takes a few very long, difficult weeks for everyone to adjust to their new circumstances. By the way, my family is from Eastern Europe, although I was born in Canada. I am looking forward to taking my babies over there in the next year! My parents and brother now live on the west coast - California and B.C. - so I understand how it feels to have family far away.

 

I know how you feel! When my babies were that age (they will be 6 months old on Monday) I was constantly worried that I wasn't doing enough with them or relying too much on swings, bouncy seats, exersaucers, etc. But once I realized that they never spent too much time in any one thing and had plenty of floor time/tummy time I forced myself to relax. Just do the best you can and don't be afraid to let them fuss it out a little as they learn to entertain themselves. I've never been one to let my babies cry it out because I just felt that wasn't right for them or for me, but a little frustration can definitely lead to determination. At about 3 1/2 or 4 months I introduced small rattles to help with hand/eye coordination and I think that helped. They'll get there and it sounds like you are in a new phase being on your own now, so just know it gets easier and take it one day at a time. Your babies will be entertaining themselves and each other in no time!

 

Hi everyone,

I'm back Looks like this week has past and I survived It's been crazy sometimes, especially when both are crying really hard (and me with them), but we've made it. A friend came by and helped me a little bit, about 3 hours a day, from 2 until 5 and this help a lot too. It seemed that they became little angels when my friend came, they slept from 2 till 5 two days ago)

I put them on the mat so they can watch the toys, but they don't seem to like that. They immediately start turning on the tummy. One of them is turning all the way and keeps his had up pretty well, the other one just started to turn and his little hand gets stuck under him and I have to help him, and also he just started to lift his head. They fuss a lot when they are on the tummy, I guess it's hard for them and if I let them get mad, nothing will calm them down.

They also like the "Kick&Play" bouncer where they kick with their feet.

I also put them in a swing from time to time. This seems to calm them if they get hysterical. I try not to hold them much, but I feel such a bad mama. I don't know when I can cuddle them and hold them and when not, so they would understand that I can't carry them around all the time, especially because they are 2.

There are moments when I feel so bad that I have to let them cry for a while, when I'm preparing the formula or comforting one of them. I feel that they might grow up to hate me or not love me as much and they might not be the happy babies that I want them to be. I'm not sure that they will remember this period, I don't, but anyway it still makes me feel bad.

Sorry for going so long, just needed to vent for a little bit.

I would like to know if you used a Bumbo chair and when did you start to pun them in there. I got one, but I don't know if I can put them in. I don't what to hurt their backs or something like this.

Thanks again for listening. :grouphug:

 

:welcome: to First Year & congratulations on you babies, I'm glad you are joining us. It sounds like you are doing a great job entertaining them! Don't worry if you have to let them fuss or cry for a few minutes, it won't hurt them, they won't hate you, and it may encourage them to discover how to entertain themselves. As for Bumbo seats, we used them with the twins. I'm not sure how old they were, I know they need to be strong enough to hold their heads & upper body steady. If you put them in there & they look strong & seem to enjoy it then they are ready. If they aren't strong enough they will slump down & won't enjoy it, so you will know they aren't ready. A lot of babies are much happier once they can sit up a bit so hopefully they will be ready soon!

 

QUOTE(sweetypies @ Jun 26 2009, 02:58 PM) [snapback]1370427[/snapback]
I also put them in a swing from time to time. This seems to calm them if they get hysterical. I try not to hold them much, but I feel such a bad mama. I don't know when I can cuddle them and hold them and when not, so they would understand that I can't carry them around all the time, especially because they are 2.

There are moments when I feel so bad that I have to let them cry for a while, when I'm preparing the formula or comforting one of them. I feel that they might grow up to hate me or not love me as much and they might not be the happy babies that I want them to be. I'm not sure that they will remember this period, I don't, but anyway it still makes me feel bad.

Sorry for going so long, just needed to vent for a little bit.


Oh, honey....don't feel bad. You are not a bad mom, you're a twin Mom. They are going to cry when you have to get formula ready and everything else they need. Besides, crying is great exercise.

I totally understand how you feel about not being able to hold them. I feel the same way. I just started being able to carry both babies up and down then stairs at one time. I did story time with both of them on my lap. They were not comfy, but I was holding them.

Both of them know that you love them and that is all that matters.
Hugs,
Jenn

 

One night we were at a party and watched a baby play in an exercauser... she was moving around playing with the danglies, biting things, jumping, spinning the wheels, etc... She was so happy and entertained! My husband and I looked at each and knew - the next day we ran to Target and bought two. Four months is kind of young, they're a little wobbly, but we put them in and tucked them around with blankets and they liked it. The point of my story is... exercausers are great! With anything, they have their time-limits, but it's just nice to have another option to entertain them and give you some hands-free time.

 

QUOTE
There are moments when I feel so bad that I have to let them cry for a while, when I'm preparing the formula or comforting one of them. I feel that they might grow up to hate me or not love me as much and they might not be the happy babies that I want them to be. I'm not sure that they will remember this period, I don't, but anyway it still makes me feel bad.

Sorry for going so long, just needed to vent for a little bit.

I would like to know if you used a Bumbo chair and when did you start to pun them in there. I got one, but I don't know if I can put them in. I don't what to hurt their backs or something like this.


Welcome to TS, I too started posting here when my boys were 3-4 month old---and now they are 7 years old!

I quoted these two statements, because they struck a cord with me. First of all, it is OK for them to cry. Once you allow yourself to accept that, your stress level will go WAY down. My mom laughed at me because on of my favorite pictures of the boys was when they were around 3-4 months old, lying side by side on a blanket screaming bloody murder--but soo cute, I stopped and snapped a pic.

As for bumbos, I never used them, and really don't like them. They were designed by physical therapists to work with children who had Cerebral Palsy and other disabilities that kept them from being able to sit up at around 9-10 months, but those children needed it to progress developmentally, so they needed that support. If you sit a child too young, they will not devolop their stomach muscles as strong as they should be. Exersaucers are fine, for short amounts of time, but the best thing for them at 4 months is a blanket on the floor. Give them toys and let them try to roll around to find things.