4.5 months and just making it!

Girls are 21 weeks and we (I) seems to be having a run of days where I feel like i'm only just making it through.

T2 is 'clingy' while t1 is usually happy but she has been waking alot more than usual lately so I can't win.

I have 2 other children, 1 of whom has some learning difficulties who I feel like I just can't keep up to their needs and hence have more guilt.

I mostly do the twins at night by myself, and don't usually have any help during the day except on weekends. We live in a small house and my husband snores really badly so most nights he sleeps in a different room. I don't like this arrangement, but this is the way it has to be so that we get sleep. Dosen't stop me from resenting him though.

I feel like I'm juggling all these balls in the air and that I'm starting to drop them.

God, sounds like post natal a bit, but I think that what i want is just some acknowledgement of what a hard job this is from him and others more often.
It's like after the intial first months, everyone forgets about you and expects you to just get on with it. People, 2 babies is soooooooooooo much harder than 1 and is ongoing.

 

:grouphug: I hear ya sister!!! TWO babies is REALLY hard and :clapping: High five to you for the great job you are doing (I am sure you are, even if you feel you aren't). Talk to DH about your feelings, I have learned there is no point in bottling them in, not good for you and certainly not good for the kiddos.

Sending good vibes your way... YOU CAN DO IT!!!

 

I hear you and I totally understand. I have a mom and MIL close by, so I still have help most days, at least part of the day, but I mostly do nights by myself so DH can sleep (he works three jobs to keep us going). The resentment I get - I told him just the other day that I work my behind off to keep our house running, and when was the last time he noticed or said "thank you". Some days I feel like there are just not enough hours in the day. Two babies IS hard - very, very hard. So hang in there - you WILL make it. Everyone else has!

BTW, the clingy and the waking up could be teething - have you tried some teething things? (tylenol, teething gel, teething tablets....)

 

T2 the 'clingy' one has pretty much always been like that. High Maintanance I like to call her. She is teething though, dribbling etc but it's no differeent to any other day with her.

DH and I have been together for many years but it feels like we're more flatmates than anything else. (Whoooooooooooooole other story!)

Is it wrong to feel hard done by and jealous of those with one baby? I love my girls but damn it's hard and I keep waaiting for the magical moment when it becomes eassier.

PS.I can hear the Little darlings in their cot now whinging after a whole 50mins sleep when they should've had at least2 hours!

 

I love, love, love my twinks, but I wouldn't go back to those early days for anything in the world. They are so sweet and cuddly but they're also needy and it is very difficult. You're just responding to feeding and diapering and wrestling them back to sleep, and just when you get one done you have to deal with the other one. It is tremendously hard. Fortunately, it also goes by quickly. I often felt jealous of singleton moms... and still do sometimes as I am trying to run in two different directions to keep up with them. It's so hard to make sure everyone gets the attention they need. But then they laugh at each other or figure out a toy together, and you realize how special twins are. It does get so much better, I promise.

Is there any way you can get out of the house for a bit by yourself and recharge? And/or take hubby with you? You might also want to get some reading material on sleep training.... just so you can get into a better pattern with them. I know you have older kids, but I think the ballgame changes a little when you have twins.

Good luck, hang in there, and come to vent any time!

 

No, it's not wrong to feel jealous. Sometimes I think about all the things I could do more easily if I just had ONE baby - get groceries, just get out of the house, SLEEP. It's not wrong to feel what you are feeling. Just try not to let it ruin things for you.

And oh I get it about the not sleeping. For the first three months, I was happy if our guys slept more than 45 minutes at a time day or night. It was exhausting. They will be 8 months tomorrow and just in the last two weeks have they FINALLY started napping for more than 30 min. at a time during the day most days. We are hit or miss at night - they are teething their top four teeth, so some nights we are up a lot again.

Hang in there - you will make it! :youcandoit:

 

I just wanted to tell you that for us, 6 months was a magic milestone. Everything seemed to get SO much easier once the babies could sit up and play with toys. I know this sounds terrible, but looking back I feel like I just "survived" the first six months, and started actually enjoying my wonderful babies at 5-6 months. Hang in there!!

 

YES! My twins are 4.5 months and I am hardly surviving. I thought it was supposed to be getting EASIER, but it seems to be getting HARDER. And I have tons of help at home, too, and I feel like a total failure. *sigh*

 

Hey, my guys are 8 months and I still feel that way many days despite having lots of help. They are teething and into everything, and some days all they do is CRY. This week has been horrible because they are working on all four of their top teeth - you can see them just below the surface, and it is making them very cranky. Plus they are crawling and into everything. It is better than it used to be, though - at least they can get around and play some, and they entertain each other a lot. I keep thinking maybe when they are about 4 or 5, it will be a LOT easier. Hope I make it until then!! :wacko:

 

I ran into a neighbor this morning who has 6 year old twins. He told me it only *just* started getting better. Sigh....

 

I am so sorry you are feeling like this! :hug: I know around the 5 monmth ark was the worst for me because the adrenaline rush of it all had worn off and the novelty of "look what I can do I must be superwoman" had worn off and there was no one there to tell me that and keep me going. I so needed to hear that I was superwoman but men just don't get it. <_<

I searched and searched for help and the only things that did help me was going to my doc to talk about PPD, make a plan and go from there. (I also have 2 other kids and one was 15.5 months and still not walking when the twins were born, oy!!) Our youngest three are all high maintenance so even at almost one it is still very hard but it has gotten easier than the first months for sure! I am also jealous of those with only one baby as it is sooooooo much harder to get out and such with twins and another little one but i try to not let that get to me too much, its definitely a normal feeling though momma!

Hang in there, it does get a bit better for us it wasn't until recently. I think it depends on the babies. It will get better as time goes on in teh years to come so just hangin there!! Ok I'm repeating myself, you know how it goes, not enough time to type a coherant sentence these days haha. I am so sorry you are feeling overwhelmed! Vent here anytime!

 

So true!
I have said as much to my dh. Sometimes you just need to hear it in words!

With my 2nd singlton, I used to take her everywhere as a baby - grocery shopping, paying bills, school run, coffee at a cafe with friends etc. I think that I resent that loss of freedom abit. I know that there will be a point where having twins will be an advantage but it seems like such a way off.

I agrre about the 4-5 month mark seems to be a hard one. They are big enough to realise there is a world around them, but not big enough to do anything about it. I think that is alot of t2's problem.