4 1/2 year old sensitive gag reflex or control issue? please help!! very long, sorry

This is about my older son Noah who is 4.5 years old. Background is around 8months I took him to a specialist who just talked with me and watched him eat. She said he just has a sensitive gag reflex and to work on helping him with oral stimulation. I didn't really do much because shortly after he started eating pretty good. Then around 15 months or so he started gagging on several different foods again. So I pretty much just tried to avoid those foods thinking why push the issue. We followed advice to only serve him what we eat, but we did that and either we would make him eat, which would make him puke or he would go to bed hungry and wake up hungry during the night asking for food. We have dealt with that all these years and are at a stand still again.
The new ped.said feed him what we eat and if he doesn't eat it and he wakes up hungry during the night offer him that food again. He said this is probably a behavioral issue more than anything. I was sooooo angry, he just didn't get it. But at the same time I know he may be a little right. Noah decided after our recent long distance move that he doesn't like mac n cheese, or the chicken nuggets here, or baked beans, hotdogs, greenbeans... He is a big boy, he weighs 46lbs and is 43in tall. So I know I shouldn't worry, but I feel horrible offering him only our food, knowing he at some point will eat it so he is not hungry and end up puking at our family meal. Do we just let him have something else that is healthy and really requires no extra effort for me to get or get tough on him? And when it comes to the gagging issue what do we do? He eats things that have texture, cottage cheese, refried beans, peanut butter, pizza, apples, fries, etc., but will not eat any meat unless we really encourage him and then it must be tender and he will not eat ground meat at all, not a burger or in sauce nada. Sorry this is so long, I just want to do the right thing, but I also want to hear from people who understand, Mommies. Thank you.

 

This is about my older son Noah who is 4.5 years old. Background is around 8months I took him to a specialist who just talked with me and watched him eat. She said he just has a sensitive gag reflex and to work on helping him with oral stimulation. I didn't really do much because shortly after he started eating pretty good. Then around 15 months or so he started gagging on several different foods again. So I pretty much just tried to avoid those foods thinking why push the issue. We followed advice to only serve him what we eat, but we did that and either we would make him eat, which would make him puke or he would go to bed hungry and wake up hungry during the night asking for food. We have dealt with that all these years and are at a stand still again.
The new ped.said feed him what we eat and if he doesn't eat it and he wakes up hungry during the night offer him that food again. He said this is probably a behavioral issue more than anything. I was sooooo angry, he just didn't get it. But at the same time I know he may be a little right. Noah decided after our recent long distance move that he doesn't like mac n cheese, or the chicken nuggets here, or baked beans, hotdogs, greenbeans... He is a big boy, he weighs 46lbs and is 43in tall. So I know I shouldn't worry, but I feel horrible offering him only our food, knowing he at some point will eat it so he is not hungry and end up puking at our family meal. Do we just let him have something else that is healthy and really requires no extra effort for me to get or get tough on him? And when it comes to the gagging issue what do we do? He eats things that have texture, cottage cheese, refried beans, peanut butter, pizza, apples, fries, etc., but will not eat any meat unless we really encourage him and then it must be tender and he will not eat ground meat at all, not a burger or in sauce nada. Sorry this is so long, I just want to do the right thing, but I also want to hear from people who understand, Mommies. Thank you.

 

I stumbled into this forum by accident... but my 7, yes SEVEN year old makes himself puke if he eats something he does not like. The kid has NO gag reflex at all. What he does is puke in his plate, so I can't make him eat it. It has gotten a lot better since I will just make another plate of food and serve it for breakfast the next morning and lunch if he still does not eat it! But at 4 almost 5 that is when it began and like you, I just avoided certain foods. But now the veggies he used to like, he gags on. I had to end that reaction to new foods and old food he was sick of because then there may be nothing he would eat.

Now he only makes the gag face, if you can imagine. I remind him that he will have to eat a complete new plate if he pukes. He has not puked in over a year but we are working on his screwed face. It is VERY embarrassing when we go out with friends. If you can nip it in the but now, I'd highly suggest it!

 

Because he is older, this is hard. I think the ped could be right on this in some part but maybe not. It sounds like he has low registration in oral motor. My girls have this but not to this extent. We do see an OT for sensory issues and I mention this to her. She tells me that I need to help wake up their mouth and stimulate it before they eat. For instance, yesterday, she gave me a couple ideas that might be worth trying with your son.
Putting a mirror in front of the while they eat, sour gum or sour sucker before they eat-not the whole thing, just some sucks or chews. My girls gag on gum so that is a no go with us. There are some vibrating sticks you can buy to vibrate around the outside of the mouth. If you google search strengthen oral motor, you will find a lot of tools that will help. Just spend like 2-3 minutes doing this before he eats.
My girls tend to shove food in their mouth and then gag. NOt all the time but some. We also see them not eating a variety of foods-certain textures. I am not worried as they are just 3. But some of the issues with the way they eat concern me. I would maybe start with some stimulation for 2-3 weeks and see what kind of results you get. There are also chew on toys that work as well. I think it is worth a try instead of just offering what you eat. He should be able to eat what you eat but there are other issues whether behavior or just oral motor skills that need refining. Good luck!

 

My 4 1/2 year old eats nothing. Her diet consist of peanut butter sandwiches, cheese cubes, chicken nuggets, steak, cinnamon buns, and pediasure. She has a consistancy problem and hates vegetables and fruits. My doctor said to keep trying and give pediasure once a day. My husband and I are very picky and if she tries to be a big girl and try a new food she gags and ends up puking. It is miserable for her. My mother even gave her rice shich she likes and sprinkled brocolli in it and she gagged even though she didn't know any different.

 

Hmmm, I've thought of 2 physical things that may contribute.

How are his tonsils and adenoids and sinuses? I have noticed in my kids if they get enlarged/goopy, the gag reflex is much more sensitive.

Also, some food sensitivities can cause similar reactions.

 

I have the SAME issue with my 3 1/2 year-old. I have been told the same things as you, but it is VERY VERY frustrating. Every bite is a negotiation (on her part) at the house, and we are very careful to always say how much we enjoy the food we're eating. We also do NOT let others (family members) say anything about not liking food. I do believe that my DD has a sensitive gag reflex, but it has ALSO developed into a control issue. I feel your pain!

 

As an adult who still has similar problems I recommend the following:

- Teach your children to chew, chew and chew again before they swallow anything.
- Tell them that it's okay to take something that they can't swallow out of their mouths again, but to do it quietly. It helps ease the child's panic of not being able to swallow something.
- Always provide something to drink (water, apple juice, ice tea,... anything non-carbonated without fruit fibres in it will do fine).
- I know this point is hard to do with toddlers, but in this special case try not to put too much emphasis on sitting meals. Food goes down more easily if the child's mind isn't totally concentrated on it. In my case, the problem is nervousness-related, meaning that I tend to gag and cough more easily when I'm in a hurry or when I know that all eyes are on me. So the less important the meal seems to be and the less the child is in the spotlight while eating, the easier it becomes. Maybe you should even have a special place where the child can help him-/herself (with 'good' stuff of course, like fruit, zwieback, carrots...) during the day without having to ask for it.
This way, eating will become something natural, and it will take a lot of pressure from both you and the child.