3am wakeup

I am at my wits end! Is there anything I can do to stop this?! It has been months and I feel like I have tried everything! If they dont start sleeping I am going to lose my mind, I feel like I cant function properly most of the time and none of us are any fun to be around.

This morning was 3am, normally its 4am. Occasionally they will sleep until 6 like yesterday but more often than not its around 4ish.

They are down to one nap, I thought maybe they were getting too much sleep since they were consistently skipping one or both of their naps. I have tried moving bedtime earlier and later.

Here is what our day looks like:

730 breakfast
11ish lunch
1130 nap
130ish get up and snack
5ish dinner, bath (every other night)
630 bed

They were going to bed at 7 but when we switched to 1 nap I moved bedtime to 630 again because they could not last till 7. They get plenty of attention during the day, we do stuff or we play, they get fresh air.

Someone please help!!!

 

My first thought was they are going to bed too early, then I read where you said they couldn't make it till 7.

How about moving both naptime and bedtime. Instead of napping at 11:30, try putting them down at 12:00. That way, they are waking around 2:00, then maybe they can make it till 7. If they are still waking early, try pushing nap back to 12:30 and bedtime at 7:30. We had to gradually move naptime later and later with the one nap a day. My girls started at 11:00, but every few weeks I'd notice they were able to stay up longer and longer in the morning so we had to keep pusing naptime. Now, they sometimes don't go to sleep until 1:00 and sometimes as late as 2:00.

So sorry they are waking up so early--I hope you can get their schedule fixed!!

 

I don't have any advice, but I can relate. My boys were early risers...for a LONG time. Usually between 4-5am. They were never allowed out of their cribs til 6am, so there were mornings that they'd cry for 2 hrs! It drove me insane, especially when the other one was never able to sleep through, so I had 2 tired, crabby boys.

When we switched to 1 nap, lucky for us, our early risings stopped. I'm scared, though, because our 'late mornings' are getting earlier & earlier, but they have not occured before 6am yet (we had some 7:30 mornings!). Mine are NOT allowed to bed before 7pm because then they wake too early. It's usually 7:30 & some nights Aiden plays til almost 8 (in bed). It took us months to push bedtime back, but we did & even with the 1 nap transition, we've stayed consistent. The only time they go to bed early is if they nap too early in the day (like the day they fell asleep at 10 & were up by 11:45!) or if they nap for like an hour (which, sadly, still happens).

I hope you can tweak your schedule & get some rest. I remember the walking zombie mode I was in for all those months of early risings. I'd turn off the monitor & TRY to sleep through them, but it didn't usually work. I was exhausted & they would cash out by 8:30am. I never thought we'd transition to 1 nap with such early risings, but some how we did. I really hope it works for you soon. Hang in there...nap as often as you can! I still often nap with the boys, even if it's the ONLY time of day I get to shower or get things done! My sleep, which equals my sanity, is far more important than a shower or a clean kitchen some days!

 

Thank you! I am going to try moving naps and bedtime later again!

I feel like I am losing my mind!

 

I would set a time, say 6am (ours is 7am) that they are not allowed out of thier cribs before. They WILL learn, but it will take some time, and there will be setbacks occasionally. Do you all share a room? Is there a way for you to sleep somewhere else while you do this?

 

Gosh, I could have written this myself!! UGH!! MY DD is waking anywhere between 2:30 and 4 am for the last week! We are going insane! They were doing pretty well STTN, with an occasional off-night of course, but DH and I were just telling his sister today how she keeps waking and she won't go back to sleep. Last night (or this morning I should say) it was 4 am, she cried for 45 minutes (and when I say cry, I mean wailing and screaming), in the meantime she woke DS up, so he cried for about an hour... when I finally got him back to sleep, she woke up crying 15 minutes later - I was like "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!" So basically I have no advice, but hoping some of your responses will help us also! I feel your pain!!

 

Ours were the same at that age. We found two things to help - slowly. SweetpeaG made a brilliant suggestion to tell them they couldn't get up until it was light, and then to have a dimmer switch on a timer in their room. When the light goes on it's not enough to wake them up if they're still sleeping, but that way they can know it's acceptable to call you. First off you can have the light going on at 4, then after a few days 4.15, then 4.30 (or even smaller 5 minute changes).

The other thing is, make sure you're not giving them anything too yummy as soon as they wake up (ours were nursing) as this can entice them out of sleep. We began to make ours wait until we came downstairs.

Even now ours aren't the latest sleepers, they usually wake between 6 and 6.30 (going to bed at 8). But they know that they can't get up before 6. If they wake before then, I go into their room and (bad habit alert), bring them/whichever one is awake onto a small red mattress on the floor to continue sleeping with me there. That way we all usually get an hour or so longer.

 

So how did this morning go?

I tried a light on a timer & it failed miserably! It made both of them SCREAM bloody murder....I think because they thought I had come in, turned on the light, & just left. Maybe if it was dimmer...I don't know. I just know that I quickly got rid of it, after totally loving the idea.

My boys were up at 5:50 today. I'm getting really nervous! These early morning wake ups are making it harder & harder to make it to nap after lunch. Plus, I was really getting used to sleeping 'in' til 6:30-7:30 lately (a HUGE change from 4am)! I'm hoping it's just because we're finally back home after 6 nights away & that they'll fall back into sleeping longer again soon (how is it that they were sleeping BETTER while away????)!

Hope you got some rest last night....

 

One was up at 1130 and 3, the other woke at 5, I nursed them then and put them back down and they slept till almost 7. I want a night of continuous sleep. Is that too much to ask?

6am would be cool, I dont think that is an unreal expectation! I would even take later but I dont want to press my luck.

We do share a room and sometimes if they wake and are not going back to sleep then I will move to the couch.

I am going to try and push them to 1145 for a nap today and move bedtime up to 645, do that for a days then push it again. Fingers crossed!!

 

When they get up in the middle of the night, what do you do? When we were working on middle of the night wakings with Aiden (he was horrible around 9-10 mos), we eventually resorted to CIO. We knew he didn't need to eat & we knew he could tolerate a diaper all night long. He just wanted someone to rub his back or acknowledge him. I had resorted to doing so because letting him cry could take hours whereas rubbing his back would only take minutes. But, we did CIO & FINALLY it clicked. He never wakes in the middle of the night now, and if he does, we don't acknowledge him at all unless he screams (since we now know it's abnormal). I had a friend who put sippies of water in her DDs cribs & swore that helped b/c they'd wake thirsty, drink some water, & go back to sleep. We tried it, but my boys would drain them & blow out their diapers .

I recall the exhaustion that came with the night wakings & early risings. I was such an unpleasant person & fell behind on EVERYTHING b/c I would always nap when they did. It was horrible & was an extreme strain on our marraige. I also felt as if I was a bad mom b/c I'd just lay on the couch while the played...forcing myself to keep my eyes open. I was short tempered with them & barely got down to engage with them b/c I was just bitter. It's amazing what sleep deprivation does to a person, isn't it? Now I'm mainly tired b/c I go to bed too late !

You 3 share a room, right? Do the girls still share a crib (I forget)? Is there anyway you can separate them with a PNP in another room or separate YOU to another room (we always separate during our CIO escapades)? It'd be a rough few nights, but maybe if they realize you AREN'T going to them, maybe they'll stop. I know not all Mamas are for CIO, so it may not be for you, but that's the ONLY thing that has gotten us through our horrible night sleep issues. We've had to do it a few times as they've went through various phases. I always hate it, but it's only a few days.

I really hope this all clears up for you soon. I totally feel for you...

 

cholee, my only question is, when they are waking up at 3 am, are they crying hysterically to the point they are unconsolable or are they just awake or are they just whining? I found that there finally came a time when I was also so sick of the rediculous wake ups that i put my foot down and said, "That's it, I will not get out of this bed until 6am" which was more reasonable for me. I found that they were just whining and not really full out crying. After several days of me not going in right away when I heard them, I found that they would actually fall back to sleep and I could get a little more rest. Eventually, they stopped waking up. There was also a time when they were waking up at 5:30 while dh was getting ready for work. We had a small tv, with built in dvd player and dh would pop in a baby einstein dvd for them that they could watch from their cribs and it gave me another 30 minutes to sleep. Every little bit helps. GL, I know it's rough but if you are not against cio, you may want to try it for those early morning wake ups.

 

They are not full blown crying, usually just whining, or moaning (my thumbsucker moans when she is trying to go to sleep), in which case I usually lay there not moving a muscle for fear that they will know I am awake.

The full blown crying starts when they see me, like if they stand up or if I check on them and turn their lullabies on, then they scream! And thats usually when I go to the couch and let them CIO. (I thought I was against CIO until I did it at 8mo to get them to sttn!)

Its not always both of them, they can sleep through each other's cries which is GREAT! Thank goodness for that or I would really lose it! But I swear they plan it at night, 'ok its your turn to wake mommy so I can sleep tonight!' <_<

And I totally know what you mean about being bitter! I try not to be mad, because obviously they dont know they are even doing anything but sometimes I just get so mad, I will lay on the couch and wont be able to sleep because I am mad, or they'll be whining during breakfast and I find myself saying 'well if you slept!' in *that* tone!

 

Ah yes...the "I told you so" type tone. I still use it. Like they know, right? It makes ME feel better . This morning, Conner was rubbing his eyes & being grouchy so I said "Guess you should've SLEPT later"...ha...like he has any clue what I mean!

You are SO lucky that your girls sleep through each other's cries. Mine have shared a room since birth but never have. Occasionally, in the middle of the night, they can drown out whimpers, but that's about it. It sucks. I've had them separated for naps since 6 mos because of it...how I'd LOVE to have them back in the same room!

I know that with Aiden, if he so much as SEES me during the night, it's over. We learned that when trying the CIO method where you go in periodically to soothe. If I slept in the same room, I actually think he'd probably START waking in the night b/c he'd notice me & want me. As uncomfortable as it sounds, could you maybe retreat to the couch for a few nights? That way, when they wake at night, they won't see you & CIO may be easier. If it isn't working, you can always go back to your comfy bed . I know Aiden would be outright P*SSED if I walked out on him whimpering at night & that would escalate to wails (Aiden's my more dramatic one, can you tell? He's also the one we've had most issues with). It's worth a shot, maybe, although I wonder what would happen if you retreated back to your room again in a few days...even if it had worked. Over the holidays, Conner had to room in with us when he was really sick. After he got better, we just kept him there, just in case. One night, he was crying...I checked him for a temp, checked his diaper, gave him some water, & then settled him back in with his blanket. When I went back into bed, he was MAD. I recall sitting up & stating "GO NIGH-NIGHT CONNER" in a stern voice. I never heard a peep from him the rest of the night . I'm sure it won't work in your case but I could just envision it if they were asleep in my room every night!

I really hope you can figure something out. I think all 3 of you will be happier with a full night's rest!

 

They slept till 7am this morning!! :yahoo: No idea what I did differently, its probably just the one morning a week that they are good sleepers!

Happy new year!

 

WAY TO GO SOFIA & MAIA! What a great way to ring in the New Year! My boys were up at 5:45am (not that it compares to your 3-4 ams, but I was SOOO enjoying our 6:30-7:30s!). Did the girls get up at all throughout the night or did you get a FULL NIGHT'S sleep?

 

I got a full night sleep! Too bad I went to bed at 1130. ardon: Maia was up at 5, whimped for 2mins tops and went back to sleep!! :yahoo:

Sorry you had an early morning, maybe they'll take a nice long nap!

 

Yay!!! So glad to hear you got some sleep. Hope it keeps up!

 

When we cut to one nap, I did my best to put them down around 1pm. This was after an 8am wake up. At that point my goal was to have two long periods of awake time. Bed time was around 7:30, so we tried to have 5 hours of awake time in the morning and then 4-5 hours in the afternoon.

When I was pushing that morning naptime out, we left the house so that their brains were confused on scheduling. Otherwise, I couldn't keep them awake either.

They are 2 1/2 and our schedule hasn't changed much since they were 15 months old. We have shifted it slightly so that we wake around 8, breakfast around 8:30, eat lunch around 11:45, nap around 12:45, up around 3, dinner around 5:30 and bed around 7:15. Their MDO program eats and naps earlier, so I wanted to have as much consistency as possible.

I do want to comment on the same room situation. This past summer we went on vacation. Due to room configurations and people, I slept in the same room with the kids. They were in their PNPs. DD woke up and SAW me in the bed the first night and woke up every single night wanting me to engage her. It was horrible and I was exhausted. I put her in bed with me and she just tossed and turned - and babbled to the numbers on the clock. Grrr. That was a long week. She was truly tired and I was cranky.

 

I knew yesterday was too good to be true!! Sof was up at 3ish and didnt go back to sleep till I nursed them around 530ish, then we all slept till about 730. <_<

I did move everything a bit yesterday, their nap was at 1145 and bedtime was at 645, I am going to continue with this a few days then push it again. Eventually something has to give. Right?!?!?

 

Hey Cohlee,

I'm having the same problem. Ours are not ready for one nap, but two naps are a mess because they are just a bit too much. It's terrible. They wake at 5 a.m. and go to bed at 7 p.m. I can't keep them awake past 7 and on the occasion when I do, they still wake at 5:00. I try to let them cry until 6, but always go grab the one that starts so the other can sleep. It's a mess. I'm tired. Tired. Tired! I can't imagine how you must feel at 3: a.m. :blink:

I do think the fact that you are in their room is perpetuating this. I know it's probably not your first choice to be in their room. Anytime I sleep in the same room with the girls they are up all night trying to get me.

Hang in there. I hope this changes soon for you (and me... )

 

Hey Cohlee,

Just curious, but why are you still nursing them during the "night?" I was told by my ped that after 7 months, that was it, no more nighttime feedings. Lorien was the only one still waking for that one feeding but it was definately more out of habit than a real need for nourishment. It would seem to me that after 14 months, you should not be feeding them during the nighttime hours. At this point they should be able to easily sustain themselves on the daytime calorie intake to wait until morning for a feeding/breakfast. Is there any particular reason you are still feeding them or is just habit for you to get them to go back to sleep? Perhaps if you would completely eliminate that feeding, you would start to get a full nights rest. When I finally stopped feeding Lorien at 2am, she did wake up for a good 3 or 4 days out of habit for that bottle. I just let her stir around and sometimes she would cry a little (more like a whimper than a full out cry) but after those few days she stopped waking up for it and even if she did wake up, she would just whine a little and then play in her crib until she fell asleep. She eventually stopped even whining but even to this day, she often still wakes in the middle of the night but I rarely go in there to check on her. I have a monitor so I can hear if anything is ever wrong and she always eventually gets herself back to sleep.

GL

 

QUOTE(double-or-nothing @ Jan 3 2009, 03:58 PM) [snapback]1131499[/snapback]
Hey Cohlee,

Just curious, but why are you still nursing them during the "night?" I was told by my ped that after 7 months, that was it, no more nighttime feedings. Lorien was the only one still waking for that one feeding but it was definately more out of habit than a real need for nourishment. It would seem to me that after 14 months, you should not be feeding them during the nighttime hours. At this point they should be able to easily sustain themselves on the daytime calorie intake to wait until morning for a feeding/breakfast. Is there any particular reason you are still feeding them or is just habit for you to get them to go back to sleep? Perhaps if you would completely eliminate that feeding, you would start to get a full nights rest. When I finally stopped feeding Lorien at 2am, she did wake up for a good 3 or 4 days out of habit for that bottle. I just let her stir around and sometimes she would cry a little (more like a whimper than a full out cry) but after those few days she stopped waking up for it and even if she did wake up, she would just whine a little and then play in her crib until she fell asleep. She eventually stopped even whining but even to this day, she often still wakes in the middle of the night but I rarely go in there to check on her. I have a monitor so I can hear if anything is ever wrong and she always eventually gets herself back to sleep.

GL


Hey Mel,

My girls only nurse once a day now, and its first thing in the morning. I dropped the bedtime feeding instead because my girls really liked their morning nursing, and because I want a job and wanted my mother to be able to put them to bed as well, so they have been getting sippies of milk for almost 2mo now at bedtime.
The only reason I was nursing them was so there was NO reason they couldnt go back to sleep, since I know they are tired, and (un)fortunately it worked. (forunate being I did get another hour of sleep from them, and unfortunate being I probably created a new bad habit because I am a total enabler! :blush: )

Last night they did sleep straight through till 630am! :bow2: So *MAYBE* we are at the end of this dreadful phase?? (A girl can hope, right?)