3 year old Defiance

I always nodded and smiled when you folks said that 3 was worse then 2....

Now Im not smiling anymore.

My kids, god bless them, and as MUCH as I love them, are just...OMG 3.

They are defiant, mean, they talk back, kick, scream, make demands...etc.

What happened to my adorable kids??

Im afraid to take them out (but they always behave in public!). They do the 'jelly arms' when I try to get them to go somewhere....I actually had to spank Connor today (And no lashings please)....he kicked me in the face during one of his tantrums.

I have been literally leaving them in thier rooms to yell. I have tried, time outs, everything under the sun. Now, I just let them work it out.

Im so tired...they wake up at night so much now...Im exhausted. I know they are testing boundaries, but man oh man.

Please tell me this stops and its just a phase.

 

I'm right there with you. 3 is adorable, but it is also the most challenging time yet. Ryan is the same as what you describe. I am lucky in that Sofia can be reasoned with a bit more. However, the constant fighting over everything, whining and tantrums is driving me nuts. I can't wait for this year/phase to improve.

 

Not much help here, just hugs! I'm in the same boat. In fact, they're fighting right now as I type this!! They wake up soooo much at night and I am completely exhausted. I feel like all we do is get on to them for something, it's like all the fun is on hold!! Don't get me wrong, there are lots of fun times, but gosh, I'm so ready for this stage to be over. What gets me the most is when they smile or laugh when I get on to them, UGH!!!

 

My friend recommended the book The Difficult Child. I have not purchased it yet, but I will.

 

Age 3 is more like the make mommy wonder what people were complaining about terrible so called 2's.
LOL Its an age where they can test your very sanity.

 

3 is the worst. I just become uber-consistent and make sure find the perfect punishment for each child. (That sounded horrible.) Like Dave reacts better to timeouts, Emma works better with removal of privileges.

 

I am with you. It's really the whining and constant demands that get me. And of course this age coincides, at least in our house, with them giving up naps. :shok: :crazy: :cray: These new smilies are fun!

 

Thank goodness for your post! It is such a relief to know other people have kids that behave like my 3 1/2 year old. I think I hate this age the most. I'm so sick of the tantrums over everything, being yelled at, not listening, ect.!

 

For us 3 was a time of major transition. What I came to realize (and I just talking about us here) was that while they were becoming soo independent in soo many ways and I was giving them their freedom, deep down they needed me more than ever. Not to help them necessarily but to spend time with them and get my attention. They no longer needed it to get dressed/go to the bathroom/put on shoes/get a drink etc etc but they still needed it. I took the liberties during their independence to do other things around the house and them acting out was their sole way of getting my undivided attention. I found if I engaged them and gave them chunks of my time that the behavior when they were not getting 100% attention was sooo much better.

Again, I am just talking about what I went through so please don't read this to say that anyone who is experiencing 3 year old issues doesn't pay attention to their children because that is not what I am saying. I just think the attention they need at 3 is different than before but they don't even necessarily even know it themselves but changing my approach totally changed their behavior. Think of all the things they have learned in the last year for example and how much that you used to help them with that you don't anymore, I bet there are quite a number of things that they simply don't need you for anymore but that doesn't mean they don't need you!

 

Mandy, I strongly recommend 1-2-3 Magic!! It really helps me tremendously with this stuff!! I rarely even GET to 2!!

Try to remain unemotional about whatever is happening and deal with them as calmly as possible. I have a "fit carpet" and let them have their tantrums there. If they get up and move, I put them back and tell them very matter of factly that they can come out when they can get ahold of themselves.

I LOVE 1-2-3. It just seems to work for us!!! :hug99: Sorry it's so rough right now!!! Can't be easy with an infant in the house!

 

Oh man, you guys are SCARING me. In the past few weeks, my guys have gotten much more unruly - lots of "No, no, no!" and "No like it!!". They don't want to do anything we ask and it is just non-stop, constant complaining. Oh, please don't tell me it gets worse, I can't take it!! :vava:

Diane, good to hear you like 1-2-3 Magic. We have the book and I haven't read it yet, but I'm going to get on board with that program ASAP!

Michelle

 

Mandy, we're soooo there! And just like you, there's a baby as well. Lately, they scream so loudly that they could never hear my "counting 123" or threats, anyway.

I've never read the 123 Magic book, but I have found that counting to three seems to help get them on track (when they can hear me). I'm quite surprised by it, actually. If I get to three and they haven't done (or stopped doing) what I've asked, they either get a timeout or some favorite toy or item gets a timeout. Ben turns into a pile of jelly when I put his tow truck on top of the cabinet.

I'm still pulling my hair out most of the time, though. Hang in there!

 

we're close to 4 and still in the midst of it! Looking for some light at the end of this painfully long tunnel too! LOL!

 

We're right in the midst of it too... No serious advice though. I just stay as consistent as possible. But OMG... the things they come up with. Natalie has to eat on certain plates, drink from certain cups, eat from certain utensils, dress in certain pjs.... etc... I'm sure you get the obsessive compulsive picture. Annika is quite the enabler. "No my cup! That Natalie's cup." And they can be down right wicked at times. The hair pulling, hitting, pushing.... It's like living in a wrestling match. The sudden streak of independance while necessary and occasionally cute can really slow you down. "I brush my hair mommy." "I open my cheese stick myseff momma." "I no lika that shirt. I wanna this shirt." And is it JUST me, or do they both always want to be "ME FIRST!"?
Thank goodness they are still so darned cute.