3.5 year olds hate crowds

ARGH! My kids drive me bonkers sometimes. For instance, today, the twins were supposed to have a 5PM showing of the Grinch who Stole Christmas at their preschool. They love their school and never shed a tear about going. My hubby was going to take them because we also have a baby and I was going to stay home with her. Well, I woke them from their naps to get to the movie on time (I wake them from their naps almost every day ... they go down around 3 and I wake them if they are not up by 5.) So, I woke them and was all excited to get them dressed and get ready for Daddy to get home and take them to the movies! They had seemed excited about it before nap ... well, they both freaked and screamed and cried for like half an hour ... even after I stated ... "WHATEVER ... if you don't want to go that is fine, I am not going to make you!" I know my tone was not the greatest but I am so frustrated. I think they would have had a great time if they would give it a chance. They HATE crowds and any time we go anywhere it seems that I am the only one who even tries to enjoy it. For instance, the pumpkin patch ... hated it ... easter egg hunt ... hated it (granted there were a lot of big kids running around trying to get the eggs) ... Park Day (lots of music and tents with fun things for kids to do and a really cool petting zoo) ... HATED IT! Just about every time we have a playdate they just grump around. If they ever actually play instead of whining and sitting on me (while I also juggle a 10 month old) then I am shocked. Only every now and then do they actually play and have fun at a playground ... they usually just fuss and whine and fuss some more. I really thought by 3 things would be better in this department ... certainly by 3.5. They are small for their age (36 inches and 24 pounds at 3.5) and even their teachers say they are very shy around other kids. Should I be concerned or is this normal toddler behavior? Sometimes I wonder if it is just them trying to defy me ... which certainly could be the case ... and I also wonder if they are just in a weird phase where the timing of these things is bad (close to being able to drop naps ... this is why the nap is so late ... but if they don't take a nap then they are terrors by 5PM or even just fall asleep watching TV or something then there is no getting them to bed on time) ... I mean at 7 PM they were as happy as could be ... I just don't know what to do with them. We are going to disney soon and I wonder if it is just going to be a huge waste of money and more of the same with the grumpy and the "I just want to go home". Anyone else with these issues?

 

I don't have an answer my kids start out shy but with in 10 min or less will play. But I know some who do what you describe. I think it is a personality thing. They do fine in small groups but with even 8-10 kids freak out and won't do anything. Not sure what to do, but wondering if you let them sit with you if they will ever choose to go play in smaller groups. does it help to talk about what to expect before you go? Hope it gets better soon.

 

My girls are very shy in public but especially with a large crowd, we recently met family out for dinner and the waiting area was packed and they freaked out, in the bathroom they kept saying, how many people were there...

I recommend the book BABY HEARTS,

http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Hearts-Guide-Giving-Emotional/dp/0553382209

I really enjoyed reading it and learning about different temperments and how to help your children develop emotionally.

HTH

 

My boys are JUST like your girls. They don't participate in AnYTHING. They sit on my lap and have been this way FOREVER. Park, music class, playdates, carnival.. you name it. Doesn't matter. Plus, they're afraid of EVERYTHING. We could NEVER do Disney. EVER. In fact, when we ask they say "NO WAY!"

I still do the stuff because if I don't leave the house I lose my marbles but do they participate? No. Do they enjoy it? I have no idea but it doesn't look like it.

I've never really thought it was "abnormal". I know I was a VERY VERY VERY timid child. I was an overthinker so I think that is most of their "problem." They think about things WAY too hard which prevents them from just diving in.

GL!

 

I have one that is shy and one that isn't so I'm not in your boat but I think you did the right thing not forcing them to go. I'm pretty sure it's a normal toddler behavior but I might actually say something to your ped as well, it doesn't hurt, right? I'm sure this is so frustrating!