20 months old - few ?s for Mom's with older twins or same age

Curious to find out when you started time outs and what is your method? We just started them, and I bought a booster chair that goes in the corner down the hallway that they sit and get strapped in if they get into trouble. So far DS hasn't had to go in TO, DD has, and she thinks it's funny. Maybe she's too young???

The only other frustrating thing that I deal with EVERYDAY is eating at the table. They just don't want to do it. We moved them to boosters which helped somewhat - but not completely. DD just wants me to give her everything and let her walk around with it while she plays. AND, she is so stubborn she just won't eat if I don't give in...frustrating!!!!! Any advice?

 

With TO's ours sit on our laps and do not face us. DH or I will take them out of the room and into the another room and we sit for a minute. I still have not invested in a TO chair yet, so that is what we do for right now. Luckily, mine are hardly in TO these days.
With your DD, I would tell her that "we eat at the table" and if she chooses not to, then meal time over and she will eat at the next meal time. They will not starve themselves. I went through a phase like that with my DD and it pained me to see her skip a meal or barely touch it, but after a few days, she started eating her meals at the table and began to tell us when she was done. Hang in there!

 

I've been wondering the same thing about Timeouts. When do they start to get it? Right now it seems like if I'd give them a timeout, it would be like giving one to my cat - they'd have no connection between the bad action and the TO.

As for the food, I agree with the PP - Everything I've read says that they'll learn if they miss a meal or two but you're consistent and firm.

 

I started using 123 Magic at 22 months and my boys are 26 months. Within a week they both got the concept. I did have a period where my one son would get up and run away as soon as I put him in TO and I would have to pick him up and put him back multiple times. Now when they go to TO's they stay put.The next thing I'm working on is for them to go to TO themselves instead of me having to put them in a corner.

For the feeding issues, do you strap them in the boosters? I don't but they know they are not allowed to walk around with food or milk. If they do get out of their chairs, they are only allowed to eat in the dining room or kitchen. Any other room is off limits.

 

While they were still light enough to have their pack 'n plays available to them, we'd do TO using those. They kind of get it, but the PnP's became a bit of a game to them, but they still didnt' like having to be in there most of the time. But, they are getting too big for the PnP's now so we just close them in their rooms. They do get it. Their biggest challenge is not climbing on the gate in the office to get to our desks and computers. There are good days and bad days. On good days, I just have to tell them to get off the gate, and they do. On bad days, I have to tell them, then warn them, and then time out in their rooms. They do get to play, but it's alone and they really do prefer to be with each other. They don't cry, but it's a chance to find something else to do. Kiefer really does seem to get it most of the time. I will go back in to his room after a minute, and he's usually sitting by the door looking bummed out that he was closed in there. Cameron has the toy chest in his room, so he's lucked out a bit when he's in trouble. If Kiefer is not in trouble at the same time, Cameron gets Kiefer's room which does not have the toy chest so there's not as many things to play with in there. It's not that we didn't want Kiefer to have a toy chest, but his trunk is not functional right now and both rooms are usually open for both boys to play in, so it doesn't really matter who got the trunk....at least while they don't care, it's not a big deal.

So far, it does work well for us. I have on occasion tried 123 Time-out. and it works too, but I have not stuck to that one as much. I should use it more since it has proven effective as well.

 

I actually don't use timeouts...the daycare doesn't do them, so I don't do them at home. What they do (and I reinforce at home) is "pillow time". Just a pillow in another room where they can go and either be quiet or scream until their done. That seems to work for us. It helps that the teachers follow this consitently.

As for eating--I still use the highchairs, but like others have said, once they want out, then their meal is over. If they really want to eat, they will sit still just enough to get the food. I don't force it because I know if they are really hungry, they will follow the routine to eat.

Good luck! This is quite a challenging stage with the girls wanting to assert their independence!

 

We've just started time outs at 2 years old. Before now they didn't understand so it was more redirection. As for how we do it, I don't have a designated space, I use 123 magic as well and just start counting and as soon as I get to three I put them in the closest corner and tell them they are on time out and for what. They have gotten up but I just sit them back down without talking to them or even looking at them, with no emotion and then keep them there for 2 minutes.

As for eating I totally agree with the pp, I would NOT let her get her way. She won't starve herself. GL!

 

I think this is a tough one too, but we follow the Positive Disclipine model - which doesn't use TO's. Instead - especially at that age - we redirect, redirect, redirect and tell them what they can do (vs what they cannot do). Even with my 4 yr old - we have something like pillow time. We (whomever is really upset - could be DH or I as well) go to our "Gecko nest" to feel better. My DS is way into gecko's so this is what we have called it. It's a cooling off feel better place. When we feel better then we can figure out how we can solve the problem or do whatever better the next time.

My kids - all 3 - sit in Stokke trip trap chairs to eat. The little guys with the straps.

Good luck!

 

My guys are a little younger, and I don't really think they're ready for TOs yet; I don't think they'd get it. So we have just been redirecting. When I feel like they can understand consequences a bit better we will probably look into TOs.

As far as the meals go, I totally agree with PPs who say if they want to run around the meal is over. I'm a firm believer of eating at the table at set mealtimes, and I really enforce this with my kids. They don't have to eat, but they have to sit at the table. If they're done we will take them down. We offer 3 meals a day and 2 snacks, so if they don't feel like eating for one meal, they'll have the opportunity to eat again within a couple of hours!