2 year old curiosity?

I am very frustrated today. OK - it's been building since the weekend when we saw the IL's. My boys hadn't been to their house in a while so when they got there they wanted to explore everything. When I say explore, I mean look, probably touch, but never make a mess or destroy things. I walked into the great room and they had glasses stacked on a low table with bowls of fruit and food. I moved the glasses because I didn't want them getting broke - don't know if the boys would have - but better safe than sorry. The boys walked up and helped themselves to some fruit. My IL's told me that I need to train my boys not to touch. Isn't it normal for them to be curious? Don't they learn by touching/looking? If it isn't, how do I 'train' them what is OK and what isn't? At our house being different than Grandma's? Am I being too lax with them?

Our TV is behind a super yard to they don't stand right at it to watch. The IL's TV is low so they were right at it giving kisses to the screen people and touching it. The word 'train' was recommended again.

I asked if we could close the doors to the other rooms to try to corral them better and MIL said to leave the bathroom door open. I asked if there was cleaners, etc., under the sink they could get at and she said yes, I requested the door be closed to protect them. Again, I was told I had to 'train' them. The rest of the visit didn't go any better. My DH just ignored his parents when they told him to 'train' them and visited with his sister who he hasn't seen in over a year - it was good for them to catch up. This just runs off DH's back but being the primary care giver I feel inadequate at times.

My boys aren't talking yet so communicating is sometimes difficult. They listen to most things but sometimes when I say no, they just laugh and do it anyway. This is when I distract them with something else. Am I just not disciplining them enuf?

Really could use some constructive feedback.

Holly

 

ACK!! Mine aren't quite there, but they are into everything. I have had to put so many things away lately because they just can't leave it alone. I went to crib tents instead of beds because I feared the scenario you are experiencing. Lately they cannot leave trash cans alone and pull everything out of drawers.

 

Oh I completely understand. It isn't enough to tell them no and expect them not to do it. Prime example.....I had a child proof latch on my chemicals for cleaning, well I forgot to lock it once and sure enough there they were unscrewing the lids. They are curious and the way I look at it is let them explore and figure things out on there own, that won't hurt them that is. They will train themselves. I still have a baby gate up to my bathroom just so they are not in there playing in the toilet or whatever. Yes mine love the trash can and everything else they are not suppose to love... I don't know if that answered your question all I know is some of the stuff they have to figure out by themselves. I would be frusturated with my in-laws as well!

 

at that age, honestly if we visited anywhere most of the stuff got moved or else u would spend the time keeping them away!!

I don't think ur MIL shud be using words like "training" to you, doesn't seem fair.

Wanted to send u a hug and try not to listen although I know its hard right there in the moment.


amanda

 

Exploring is how they learn. I don't think it is reasonable to expect them not to touch things. :hug99:

 

They sound like perfectly normal two year olds to me, I don't think you are being too lax with them. Maybe you could take a few of their favourite toys to distract them with when you go to your IL's, or even get something that you only bring out while you are there.

Also maybe your DH could talk to his parents about their attitude. If not then I suggest you take his approach and ignore them. Your children are not dogs to be trained or dolls to just sit and look cute and you are not inadequate just because they touch things they shouldn't; exploring is a natural and necessary part of learning, especially for children.

 

I think your kids are just being typical 2 year olds. It's unreasonable to expect kids this age to know what they can and can't touch. Even if you tell them not to touch, their curiosity is stronger than their self-control. It's not something that can be "trained" at this age. I think you did the right thing in removing dangerous objects away from their reach. And I think your IL should know better than to leave breakable/dangerous objects within reach of 2 year old toddlers.

Also, I think having two 2 year olds is alot different than having one. If there is just one toddler, you can follow him/her closely and physically stop him/her from touching things. But when you have twins, you need two adults to follow each child closely, or you just have to child proof the room.

When I visit my FIL's house, I ask my husband to watch the kids for the first 10-15 minutes while I scan the room and remove all dangerous/breakable items from the room. When we are ready to leave, I make sure that everything gets put back in its place. I figured that my FIL would rather me do that than have the kids break his stuff. He hasn't complained about it yet.

 

I agree that your kids sound like very normal 2 year olds. It is super difficult to take 1 child to someone else's house, much less 2 that are the same age. I can really get bent out of shape over people telling me how to parent my children, especially when they have never dealt with multiples.

I even but heads with my Mom, because she thinks I cater too much too my kids in some ways, and am too hard on them in others. It's funny how much she has "forgotten" since we were kids!!

Here's my stance on the situation, I tried to teach my kids not to touch "pretties", but the reality of life is that, as I parent it is my responsiblility to protect them from themselves. I always move anything that is a hazard, age appropriate. Cleaners are in locked rooms and/or cabinets, candles, glassware etc are moved well out of their reach or put away until they are at a safer age. I think it's one thing to teach kids not to touch things they shouldn't, but another to expect them to mind you every second of every day. That is an unrealistic expectation of an adult, muich less 2 curious 2 year olds.

As for dealing with your MIL, I'm afraid you'll have to recruit your DH. Only he is going to best know how to approach his family. It does get better as they get older, but it's just hard.

 

They are doing what they should be doing at their age! There is someone who needs training but it's not you or your kids!!