2 AM Parties - Big Kid Beds and Bribes not working

We put up the big kid beds about 2 months ago. They were getting so close to climbing out of their cribs (still hadn't done it at almost 2.5 yrs, despite being little monkeys everywhere else). Kids are 31 months old now.

I can get them to go to sleep pretty well, sometimes have to sit in the room for 20 mins to get them to stay in bed. Mostly naps on the weekends, since they are in daycare during the week.

But middle of the night wakings are running us down. It's mostly DD. She wakes sometime in the wee hours, decides DS needs to be up too, and will turn on the light (overheaad, switch on the wall, no side lamps in there anymore). And gets on his bed to prod him into activity. Free for all after that. The only other furniture in there is a recliner, which is just a small trampoline to them (no, I don't encourage that), and a small side table, indestructable.

We've offered stickers, ice cream, cookies, all of which will work for DS. But DD is just anarchy in motion. The first 2 weeks, almost a month, she was great. Then this. The only way to get her back to sleep is to segregate her in a bed with DH or I and force her to lay still. Or sit in the room for the hour or more it takes for her to fall back to sleep on her own. Don't want either to become a pattern.

Just got ear tubes in her this Monday. She's still really congested and coughing. But that's not what's waking her, I don't think. She's still under the effects of the meds when she wakes.

Mom thinks maybe she's ready to give up her nap????? Can I just yell No, I'm not ready? How do you have a child not nap at daycare when all the other kids in their class are napping? She doesn't nap for long, I'm told, sometimes 30mins, sometimes an hour, never more.

I really didn't want to separate the two into their own bedrooms this young. We have the space to do it tho. But she'll still be up, and I'll have to lock her in her room if we do that and let her wake and go back to sleep locked in her room on her own.

Any ideas? Much appreciated!

 

I would seperate them. I would also unscrew the light bulbs in the room, if necessary. Does she have a night light? When she wakes in the middle of the night, I would never offer cookies or ice cream to bribe her back to bed. The sugar might be keeping her up more. Plus, that's bad for teeth and teaches horrible eating habits. I would calmly get up and put her back in bed every time. It might be hard at first, but I'd try that for a week or so and see what happens. Tell her before bed that she cannot get up and play or wake up her brother in the middle of the night. Then, when she does wake, redirect her back to bed, bribing her with nothing. Do you have the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth? It helps with sleep problems through the teenage years. It'll also help you to figure out when to cut out that nap.

 

Stop the bribes...it will only lead ot more trouble in the end. Could take abit but MEAN IT when you put them back to bed. NO BS!
TEll her once its sleeping time...then do not talk after that, just put her back. Make certain to say do not wake the sibling. Its not nice. Lauren did this for a bit as well. Drove me insane, even worse when DH was away working. I got angry one night and refused to speak and it worked. Tried it again..still ok.

Don't give in due to exhaustion....hard as it seems.
Get mad, get determined.Remove that light.

 

Slight misunderstanding, she does NOT get ice cream or cookies in the middle of the night. Those bribes are given out in the morning only if they stay in bed all night. I would never give sugar close to bedtime or after bed time. Disaster looms! I have a hard time giving them sugar at anytime of the day. I have no problems with treats given for good behavior, bribes are good when used judiciously. And I am very interested in protecting the health of their teeth, nothing but water after teethbrushing at night.

We do mean it when we put them back in bed, no BS. Have tried the silent back to bed, a la HSHHC (our personal sleep bible), and had limited success. I am no softie when it comes to bedtime, and we don't give in due to exhaustion. But we are exhausted and we have to find a solution. She did manage to stay in bed all night last night, tho woke several times due to her cold/cough (which I will respond to, can't ignore a sick child). She was praised highly this morning and got her ice cream for the first time in weeks.

Thanks for your input, I guess we'll just keep at it and hope the light dawns for her one of these days

ETA: Yes, we will separate to protect DS's sleep, temporarily or permanently, as needed. I had been holding off b/c they are somewhat dependant on the other at night, and will get upset if one's not there. Also with the holidays looming, I hesitate to make change in their routines when routines are going to get messed up anyway. But needs must, so we're keeping that option in our back pockets if we don't see improvement soon.

 

Final note, they only get a spoonful of ice cream, or a fig newton. Nothing large or overdone. Just a sweet taste treat.

 

We tried sticker charts, and had success with that for a few weeks. When that wore off we did "tours". We set up a crib in our guest room and took a tour of all the bedrooms before bed. We went to Mommy and Daddy's room and said, "Mommy and Daddy sleep in a Big Bed, Lilly sleeps in a big bed, Henry sleeps in a big bed, but if Henry gets out of bed he has to sleep in the crib (and we would walk down to the room with the crib)." So far it has worked. Best of luck, and I agree, sperate them