2.5 year old twins and new baby

i have a newborn and my twins are 2.5. I am very thankful but it is challenging. The twins have been throwing tantrums a lot and I find myself getting frusterated. Anyone in this situation with tips or ideas or can relate? thanks.

 

I had the opposite, 2.5 yr old singleton and newborn twins. Patience, patience, patience and more patience! I tried to do things with my 2.5 yr old while the babies were sleeping. I got her involved, showed her how to play with the babies (really, how to play with baby toys like rattles and stuff), she would "entertain" the twins while they napped in their bouncers. I pulled out playdough and coloring books before it was time to feed the twins, so she'd have something to do while I was busy. And....we watched a LOT of tv! :lol:

 

My twins were just 2 so weren't quite so tantrum prone when she was a newborn, but they're hitting that phase now. I'd say just try to get them as involved with the baby as you safely can. Mine sat on the couch or on the floor and held her, they "helped" change diapers (I have a little stool so they can climb up and watch and hand me things), and even helped when I gave her baths in the baby tub (I let them pour water over her toes with a small cup). There are times when they tell me to give her to DH or to one of the grandparents or aunts/uncles when they visit because they want me to hold them instead, but overall they love her like crazy.

It'll be tough in the beginning and to be honest, my baby spent a BIG portion of the time just hanging out in a sling around my neck so I could still give my twins my full attention, but that first 3 month period is so sleepy anyway that I think she loved all of that cuddle time and didn't mind it a bit. I did almost everything I always did with the twins with her just dozing in the sling and then once she got big enough to start napping for longer stretches in her crib, I would make sure to give them my undivided attention during one of her naps so they didn't feel left out. It gets easier! Congrats on your new baby and feel free to PM me if you want to talk!

 

thanks guys. They hardest thing is the twins have been sick with colds since the baby has been home so i'm trying to keep them seperate as much as i can. i feel so guilty like im not letting them form these bonds but i also don't want to get the baby sick being such an infant. they are getting better though so i'm hoping they can "help" with the baby more soon.

 

I second letting them 'help' as much as possible. I even went so far as to let them 'help' me feed the baby, which consisted of them putting their hand around my breast since I was nursing.. But they LOVED it, and, at 18 months I really didn't mind it anyways. They would help with diapers, lotion, everything. Pat him on his back.. LOL They loved him so much I had to build a play yard and the baby is the one I put in there! The twins would run around and he'd be knocked out on his blanket in the play yard.

My newborn hung out a lot in the sling also, so it wasn't so difficult to pick one of the twins up, or go out places with them - they'd hold my hands and he'd be in the sling. We made it work. I enjoyed those times. Challenging YES, but wait until they are all mobile and running around!

 

My twins were 16 months old when Ryder was born so thankfully it only took about a week for them to think he'd been around forever. LOL We did have a lot of tantrums though and the biggest issue was that I gave the twins A LOT of undivided attention before the baby came so it was very difficult for them to deal with someone else getting so much attention. I tried to spend any time I could with them whenever I could put Ryder down (which wasn't often). I wore him in a carrier a lot so I had hands free for them. I was on the floor a lot with all 3 of them and had them help me whenever the opportunity would arise. Getting a diaper, throwing away a diaper. Helping read books. I think the biggest thing is giving it time, trying to include them in baby stuff as much as possible, and giving them lots of attention when baby doesn't need you. Ryder is almost a year and the twins are 27 months and for the most part they all play together very well (except the twins have tea parties all the time and don't like Ryder joining in LOL). Good luck. I keep telling myself as they all get older it will get easier. And really the older they get the better they play together. Go back to survival mode and just try not to worry about the house, cook simple meals, just try to do whatever you need to keep the kids from freaking out. A lot of that meant just me getting down to their level a lot.

 

At first the girls behavior was great, but then I went back to work, they started a new day care, and it has been meltdown after meltdown all day long. The baby spends a lot of time in the swing, sitting in the bumbo in the playroom while I play with the girls, and in the vibrating seat on the kitchen floor while I make dinner.

I have to "wall off" the living room while I am trying to get the baby to sleep and I banish them to their playroom.

we're just trying to survive the next year....

 

My twins were just shy of 2 when Liam was born. I tried to let them be involved in "helping" and when he was napping we did stuff like our arts and crafts projects, painting, etc. They were still napping once a day for a while, so I took the afternoon naptimes to do what I needed to get done.

Just be patient. You'll get into a groove eventually.

 

Oh...how I remember those early days. You'll survive and it's completely normal to be frustrated, tired, etc. You're a busy woman. But, honestly, it will get better and it's nice having them close in age (for me I don't feel like my daughter is excluded from the boys being twins...she's just kinda lumped in with them).

 

Just one thing my ped pointed out: the younger siblings will always catch what the older ones have, so not to worry, they are well-equipped to deal with it. Our boys started day care in October and have been perpetually sick (really, only two weeks where no one was having a snotty nose...) and the baby had a cold pretty much from day one despite being b/f. Of course, I went to the doctor a good three or four times with her coughing and sneezing, but he reassured me that she'll be fine. For me, that made a big difference in terms of organizing life at home, not to have to worry about separation...
Hope things will get easier for you soon!