2-3 hours to eat?

I so hate mealtime right now. My 4-year old takes forever to eat. This morning is a good example. We had pancakes this morning. Breakfast starts at 9:15. She had ONE pancake. It is now 11:11 and she has only eaten 1/4 of her one pancake. We couldn't go for a walk this morning because she is still eating her pancake. Now - I have to start making lunch. I don't know if she will be done with her pancake by lunch!

This is every meal. She sits down and talks and talks. We will all be done before she even takes her first bite. Then she cries because she is left at the table alone. I have put time limits on the meals before (set the timer for an hour). When the timer goes of she just screams she is hungry. I don't know what to do anymore. Just a few minutes ago she is gabbing about crap and I yelled, "I don't want to hear it until your pancake is gone!" I feel like a b**** - but I don't want to spend my days off in the summer waiting for her to finish her meals. Plus, she eats like a one year old. She eats - have have to clean up the blast radius and then it is time for the next meal so it all starts over again!

Anyone else going through this? Is it a four year old control issue. I don't give her very much to eat - in hopes that she will eat quicker. One small pancake should not have taken almost two hours to eat! Gabe ate his three cakes and has been done for an hour. The twins ate their pancake and have been done for 30 minutes - yet she is still farting around at the table!

Thanks for leting me vent!

 

Honestly, I would give her 30 minutes to eat. At the end of 30 min, the plate goes away, and she doesn't get anything until the next meal. If she cries, she can go to her room, but don't make a big deal out of it. Just take the food away, and done. Then go on with your day. The big thing is to not make it a battle. She eats or she doesn't, but at 30 min, the plate goes away.

Good luck!

 

I've never experienced that but I have to say I think I would set time limits. Temper or no temper as a result- I think that way they might be hungry for the next meal and eat a little quicker? No way on that time limit. How do you get anything done and what is she doing for 2 hours?

 

I'm with the other ladies- Stick to your guns and she'll learn to eat more quickly. It definitely sounds like a control issue. Besides, I once had a dietition tell me that if you take more than an hour to eat something, you've usually burned off more calories than you've consumed (keep in mind, this doesn't work for a chocolate cake... though I'd like to try!). Also, maybe ask your ped. for advice. Perhaps it's worth them checking your daughter? I'd go with the first suggestion first, though.

 

I agree with Sharon. I don't have a 4 yr old, so maybe it's not my place, but it does sound like a control issue. I would just set the timer, explain to her that she has 30 min to eat, and if she hasn't eaten, you are putting it away, and no food until the next meal. During the meal, I would not talk about eating (unless she is eating well, then praise) but no "Come on, eat, please eat your food, etc". When the timer is up, the food is gone.

 

Holy crimoley, she sits at the table for 2-3 hours?

Totally agree with the PP, I think you should just set a limit and stick to it. Anyone who's not done within the time limit has to wait for the next scheduled meal or snack to get anything else to eat. If she screams about being hungry, fine, but she has to go to her room to do it. She will figure it out soon enough if you stick to your guns. Also agree that you should be very no-nonsense about it. During the meals, no cajoling to finish, eat another bite, etc., but I would give a 5-minute warning.

My girls sometimes can be very slow about eating in the mornings, and since we both have to get to work, I just can't have that. So whenever they're dawdling/playing, I just say, "OK ladies, 3 more minutes, we've gotta go, so finish up!" and then after 3 minutes if they're still eating, I make them come away from the table and brush teeth.

 

I agree with Sharon 100%. I would set a timer for her. When she goes to school she'll have to deal with a limited time to eat her lunch they won't let her dawdle for two hours. And, is she at the table for two hours with no distractions? Is there a tv close by that she's watching while she's eating? Or, is she getting up from the table? Make sure that she sits at the table during mealtime and then offer nothing else until the next meal. Good luck.

 

I had a child I babysat for so this to me all the time he was 5 when i started watching him and 8 when i stopped and he did it just about every meal. I gave him 30 min to eat and if he didnt the plate went away and it came back out at the next meanl assuming it was something that would still be ok to eat. (for example if it was cereal for brkfst I would just toss it )

Good Luck!!!!

Oh Also tell her that if she does not eat with in the time limit shes going to lose things she likes for instance playing outside or something.

 

I agree with the PPs. I know it's hard, but you can do it! It must be very frustrating for you to deal with right now. Hang in there

 

I need to tell you that mine are the exact same way, and honestly, I've never had the guts to take the plate away. Not that I'm scared of the tantrum, I just always figured they need to eat. Last night, their dinner sat on the table for hours, we took a bath, then they came back to eat their cold food before going to bed. It's maddening! But after reading this post, I just might start that rule, but maybe start at an hour, then work down from there. Good luck.

 

I have a very slow eater too. I have never let him sit that long, but we have been at the table for an hour before. He now knows that he has a time limit. He doesn't always finish, but he is getting so much better. His first couple weeks at school he had a hard time because he wasn't used to the time limits. Now he almost always finishes his lunch in time & gets to eat everything.
I would start the meal off explaining the limit & remind at the 5 minute warning & than that is it. We also won't allow any kind of snack after the meal if it wasn't completed

 

QUOTE(nikki_0724 @ Jun 18 2007, 08:37 PM) [snapback]297625[/snapback]
Oh Also tell her that if she does not eat with in the time limit shes going to lose things she likes for instance playing outside or something.


Personally I wouldn't do any punishment beyond just taking the plate away after the time limit. Being a little hungry for a couple of hours is enough of a consequence IMHO.