What do you all think? I was kinda disappointed in my DH yesterday with mom's day. I did stay in bed till 7:30 but of course when I got up at 5:30 to wake him to get up with the kids I really couldn't fall back to sleep. For my birthday last year, I had mentioned that it would have been really nice if the kids got me a card for my birthday (he knows I am big into cards). And he was ill prepared again with a gift. And for mom's day I hinted that flowers weren't necessary and honestly, really wanted something memorable from the kids... even if it was just a card at this point. Maybe I am just being witchy or it's the time of the month coming up or ??? but I am just bummed and still this morning debating if I want to bring this up to him as I did around my birthday.
Did you specifically mention that you wanted a card from the kids for Mother's Day? I mean within the past few weeks, not just at last years birthday. Guys tend to go on specifics, not hints, in my experience. I'd lighten up on him. He got you a dozen roses & a gift thats in the mail! Thats a lot more than a lot of women got, I'm sure. Be thankful for what you got, even if it wasn't what you truly wanted.
QUOTE I'd lighten up on him. He got you a dozen roses & a gift thats in the mail! Thats a lot more than a lot of women got, I'm sure. Be thankful for what you got, even if it wasn't what you truly wanted. I am confused. I did not see this in Nicoles original post???
QUOTE(seamusnicholas @ May 14 2007, 03:16 PM) [snapback]254445[/snapback] I am confused. I did not see this in Nicoles original post??? That paragraph was edited out. Look at the time of my response and when the OP was last edited. The missing paragraph said he had a dozen roses delivered around noon and then a few hours later told her something else was coming by mail. Hope that clarify's! I understand her disappointment in wanting the sentimental gift and not getting it...but he far from forgot the day.
sorry!!! I went back in to edit it to add something and then I don't know what the heck I did. When I went back my ability to edit was gone. Grrr!!! Yes, I got a dozen roses. And YES, I am thankful for it. Many mothers might not have gotten anything which I feel horrible. I was pretty specific in that I honestly really just wanted a card from the kids and for him to do the diaper changes/feeding/etc). I am really not that picky of a person. Although he may seem like it on these posts. I think maybe I am just more bummed in that we just seem to be on a totally difference wavelengths lately.
I have one of those husbands that DOES NOT get hints at all. If I want something I come right out and tell him. It took me lots of frustrating holidays to figure out this is what I needed to do. of course, we would love for them to "read between the lines" but sometimes they just can't. Maybe you could start this approach? I even give my husband a list of "suggestions" for X-mas and b-day otherwise I would get that really cute Coors Light t-shirt that the convenience store was giving away when you buy a 12 pack! :rotflmbo: Think about it, it may be a good approach for you too to save yourself some heartache in the future. :hug99:
QUOTE I would get that really cute Coors Light t-shirt that the convenience store was giving away when you buy a 12 pack! :laughing:
I didn't even get as little as card. That would have even been awesome! I got a big fat nothing, LOL Ah well, right? He SAYS he is going to make it up to me, but I am not holding my breath.
I feel the same way as you. We struggled for years to have our babies and it wasn't until our 2nd IVF attempt that we were successful. I have looked forward to my first mother's day for YEARS! Anyway, I had already bought myself a mother's bracelet which DH paid for. I was hoping that we would spend the day focusing on me and our kids. I usually don't demand a lot of attention, so it is nice to get it on special days. Anyway, we ended up spending the morning with his mom and the afternoon/night with my mom. WHICH, is the same thing we do every year. We didn't get home until 9 last night and then it was time to feed/bathe the kids. I think he told me happy mother's day once yesterday. He was pretty tired and was actually pretty grumpy most of the day. Anyway, I expressed how much my feelings were hurt to him this morning. He did an excellent job of making me feel special on my birthday, that I guess I expected the same thing for my FIRST mother's day. (((HUGS))) Men just don't get it sometimes!
My first Mother's Day I was sooooo disappointed. I was kind of expecting to have a card at least when I got up that morning since I knew he went and got his mother one. Nope. He went when I was in the shower late that morning. I cried I was so disappointed. He is sooo good when it comes to Christmas and birthdays, but for a first Mother's Day it was like it wasn't even important (and I gave birth on Father's Day the previous year!!!). Luckily he has slowly gotten better about it. This year, I just wanted breakfast in bed, and I got that with my cards from him and DD. He cleaned the house too. I just wanted to relax, and didn't want anything (bday is this week too). I have everything I want sitting in front of me and in my belly Men don't read between the lines though. Luckily he does ask what I want, and I tell him. He keeps bugging about my b-day too, but I truely don't know what I want. Normally we get season passes to Cedar Point (amusement park) every year for my b-day but since I may only get to go once at the very end of the season, there was no point in buying them this year. April
QUOTE(Renald99 @ May 14 2007, 10:24 AM) [snapback]254462[/snapback] That paragraph was edited out. Look at the time of my response and when the OP was last edited. Got it! Thanks!
I would bring it up Nicole. If it's that important to you, he should know how you are feeling. I am sorry it was a disappointment. :hug99: Just remember though, the babies still think you are the best Mom in the world and eventually, they will make you a card! Can you believe our babies are almost 1! Seems like only yesterday -- we were going to the doctor and getting our weekly weigh in and cervix check. :laughing: Where are the time gone?!?!?
Well, I'm in the club with you ladies. My hubby forgot it was my first Mother's Day as a mom. Oh, well. I know my babies love me (and my husband too for that matter).
I hear ya. Yes it is wonderful that he remembered and all and I would have wanted to cards too. But like some of theo others have said, men just don't have a clue. Unfortunately, you need to tell them what you want (and yes, some of them like mine, still can't deliver what you need even after you have told them) and hope they will "get it". If not, there is not much you can do about it. When my dh falls short of my needs, I usually try to focus on our babies and that usually will make me feel better.
Sheesh. I got a pile of cards thrown at me (literally - a card from him, from the girls and from the dogs, he tossed on the end table and walked away as I was caring for one of the babies) Oh, and we got to take MIL out for Dinner. And he specifically said it was for HER, not me. Granted, we spent Saturday night in the Raddison hotel, but not for Mothers Day. That was upon my return from a week long business trip, one of which I left the house threatening DH that when I came back, I was walking out on him, and taking the girls with. So the hotel trip was more of a 'we need to save our marriage' than a mothers day gift, and we both knew it.
I see both sides of the story - face it, men are DENSE! They do not have the innate sensitivity that we have (and i don't mean that in a chauvenistic way, just a REALITY way); they are not inherently able to do it nor are they socialized to consider others in the way that women are. I told my DH THREE WEEKS AGO when the girls first came home (and his mother was here) that i expected a card the morning of M-Day. Well, no dice. He did tell me that he had ordred something for me but it wouldn't come til monday and he was sorry..... And i am grateful, he did bring me a big plate of fresh french toast in the nursery at 7, then after i ate (oh, and nursed Danielle and burped her for 40 minutes) shoo-ed me off to bed. Gifts came today - a tote bag w/ a picture of teh girls (adorable but, um, a WHITE tote bag? how long is THAT going to stay clean?) and some t-shirts w/pictures of the girls. Of course they are giant, boxy white not 100% cotton (um, and WHERE does he think i'm going to wear them?) but - the thought was nice. And a sweet card. Bottom line: i think it's important to express your emotions, focusing on your own reaction/disappointment, rather than his being clueless. It seems like a minor distinction, but - i find taht when i can tell DH how something lands on me he is much more able to hear it and act differently. Sorry you were disappointed - at least all of us here know what a big deal M-day is!!!
My DH took a really long nap on Mothers Day while I was doing laundry, dishes, taking care of kids...etc..and then couldn't understand why I was so upset about it. Men just don't get it !!
