1st Day Potty Training was a Disaster

I feel like the worst potty training mom ever.

I knew potty training was not going to be easy and I knew I needed to be patient and have endurance. I spent months reading about potty training, taking them to the toilet with me, letting them sit on the potty with clothes and diapers on; we watched DVD's and talked about it. They have showed all the signs of being ready, my daughter will tell me immediately if she has done a 1 or 2 and my son takes his diaper of, they have never pooped outside the house and now wait till they get home to pee.

We made the plan and picked the weekend and today was day one and it was a disaster. Neither one will poo or pee on the potty, they will sit on it then get up and walk away to do it. I put the poo in the potty and my daughter lost it, my son has held it all day. We started the day with underwear and then put a pull up over them for nap, we used a sticker board which they loved but obviously want stickers but no potty.

I feel horrible right now and that all we accomplished was a very tired and exhausted family. I want to throw in the towel but I know I have to face this at some point or my kids will still be in diapers at 18.

 

Just wondering how old your twins are? Mine weren't ready until around 2.5yrs old, and they asked to do it, and they were also old enough to get the concept of earning stickers. Perhaps you kids are just a little too young yet? If I had done it early, it would not have worked and it would have taken a long time. In the end my two had the hang of pting by about day 2, and although they had the occasional accident, for the most part they are daytime trained (altho for nap and bedtime we use a diaper still)
I would say at the most give it another 2-3 days and if you dont see improvement, stop it all together, and wait a month or so and try it again. My idea is that if they dont get it within 2-3 days they are probably not ready for it yet.

Hang in there - they wont be 18 and still using diapers.! : )

 

I agree with Isis. Your kids will not be 18 and in diapers. If they are still having lots of accidents or refusing to use the potty...there is no shame in stopping and trying again in a month or two. We had to do this with my son...he was finally ready when he was 32 months old. Hang tough Momma!

 

we started potty training in october of 2010, the girls were 2 1/2, and they seemed ready. They are just potty trained in march 2011 -day and night, at 3 years old. A 6 month process.

That's probably not the news you wanted to hear, but just be patient, be consistent and don't stress about it. we had good progress, then set backs (back in diapers at one point b/c they were peeing in pull ups all day) and then suddenly it clicked. Everyone was much more relaxed when I just made it their choice. In the last stages of the training I just make it clear it was their choice if they wanted to wear diapers and pee in their pants, fine. but if they wanted to wear underware they would need to use the potty. They chose underware...

good luck, hang in there!

 

again not sure how old your kids are but if they are closer to 2 than 3 it may be more difficult...we introduced potties around 18 months or so and from then until right before their 3rd birthday nothing was consistent - I could get my daughter to pee once in a while...2 weeks before her 3rd birthday she said she wanted to wear panties - I told her she couldn't pee in them, and that was it! in 2 years since she's had one pee accident and one poop accident - both within the first 2 days of training her...my son was closer to 3.5 before being completely potty trained (pee and poop) although he got pee within 3 days - he was very stubborn about poop...and I didn't start training him till after their birthday!

 

I'd say the first day is to be expected to be somewhat of a disaster... hopefully you see improvement in the next couple of days. if not, you haven't lost anything by trying! sounds like you are doing a great attempt with the underwear etc. and the sticker chart. maybe give them some high fives if they even sit on the potty? something to keep encouraging them. and then a sticker if they even get a drop in there?? good luck!

 

:youcandoit: I'm also wondering how old your twins are... But the first day is never "easy" but if they are really ready then day 2 should be muuuuch easier. If not then I would just go back to diapers for a bit and wait. Don't beat yourself up. :grouphug:

 

We are half way through day 2 and feeling a lot better, we still have a long way to go but I don't feel so helpless.

After my husband and I regrouped last night/this morning and also after reading your comments we made some adjustments to the plan which I feel much better about. We had introduced some of the Love and Logic principles a few months ago and it has really helped with the whole 2's battle, providing choices and a sense of control and not exhausting myself negotiating with twin 2 year olds (they are 28 months). While I went into the potty training wanting to minimize stress I think I forgot about what had been working.

Instead this morning I thought about what they each prefer as individuals, what they need and what motivates them. I headed out to the dollar store and picked up car and truck stickers for him and some girl favorites for her (instead of the stars that I had) this way they could get a sticker for close and successful attempts to decorate their own potty; I also picked up a bag of items to use as rewards for several successful attempts. We thought about going bare from the waist down today but in the end decided to give them a choice of underwear or a diaper (diaper for naps and night sleep),they both picked the underwear. The plan is if they have an accident with no attempt to use the potty then they will revert back to diapers/pull ups for the remainder of the day (but are still encourage to use the potty) and start again the next day with a choice. While I was out my son had an accident without any attempt to use the potty so back into diapers, he is still going and sitting on the potty but has not yet taken the leap (we let him have couple of stickers to decorate for what we thought was some good attempts). My daughter already has decorated her potty with several stickers for a few attempts and received something from the lucky dip bag for a number 1.

I figure I will just keep taking them to the potty after and before sleep and meals and asking if they need to go in between, if they say no then they say no. I do wonder if they are scared of the potty though? They are both happy to sit on it (my son could spend hours sitting on it) but will get upset when the moment of truth arrives. We have had potties in the bathroom for a while now for them to get used to it, maybe we left our get serious date to long? We introduced the pull ups a few weeks ago but they just think it is a fancy diaper.

How long do you let them sit on the potty before you decide they are using it as a delay tactic or just play? Sometimes I think if I just let my son sit on it for as long as he likes he might go, I also wonder if he wants some privacy as they both go to a corner now to poop in diapers?

I appreciate the support and will take anymore ideas that we could throw into the mix.

 

I have two girls, so I can't comment on the boy and if training is different there, but I do know that boys train later, maybe that is part of the issue?

We found we had to go with underwear, when we used pull ups the girls felt like they had permission to pee in them. Of course, we used them when we would go out for quite awhile, but at home, it was big girl underwear all the way. If they had an accident, no biggie, just got a new pair. I used M&M's, one for urinating and two for bowel movements. If they just squeezed out a drop, they didn't get one. I also set the timer and every twenty or thirty minutes, we would go try. We hauled the potties with us outside to play so we wouldn't have to run too far if they did have to go. We used a sticker chart for all day dry, then they got something after three days, then five days, then ten days. By that time, we were basically done. Nighttime has been a different story, but that is how we did daytime and they we basically trained by 2 yrs 10 months.

Good luck, it'll happen!

 

I totally recommend that 3day potty training that's on the internet, you can buy the ebook from her, though there are several posts on here referring to it... it really puts the ball back in their court, instead of you telling them it's been enough time and they should have to go...

she totally recommends throwing away all diapers.. for day, nap & nights... that's up to you, we did, and have had some/lots of laundry to do... but my dd won't wear the pull-up cloth diaper that I got her anyway, so we just try to catch her before she pees at night... (we did cloth diapers so we just put all our diapers away and just didn't use them)...

anyway, good luck, so glad that the 2nd day was better! yes, rewards are VERY key!! even just a fun "high five" with your hands!