17 month old twins and I am ready for another!

I got pregnant with the girls b4 me and their daddy got married, we are engaged. Still have not set a date for a wedding as we are having a few issues. I know I always said I was going to wait to have another one once I got married and me and him were getting along really well.

But I dont want my twins that much older I ALWAYS wanted kids around the same age, me and my sister are 15 months apart and super close!!

what would you do?

 

For me, it would depend on how serious you think the issues are that you are having.....personally, I wouldn't want to purposefully bring another child into an unstable relationship because that could make things even harder. Of course, I also have NO intentions of having any more kids - I can't imagine adding another child to the craziness we have with our twins.

 

I agree about sorting out your relationship issues. The second year was really, really tough on our marriage. As the twins got more active and demanding our stress levels were really high. Having another baby would probably be more stress to your relationship.

However, if you feel like things are solid, I don't see any problem with having kiddos close in age! I wish we would have started trying for #3 sooner!

 

For me, I would ask myself this: if things go completely south with this relationship, am I prepared to be a single mother to 3 children under 3?

I don't think there's a right or a wrong choice, just whatever one you're comfortable with. :hug:

 

No one can answer this question but you. That said, I agree with much of the above. I think bringing another child into an unstable relationship will only exacerbate existing problems. I'd sort through the issues first and, hopefully, resolve them. Plus, I will tell you that the chaos and craziness of our lives multiplied 10x when our boys turned 18 months, which isn't too far away for you! We are expecting #3 and I can EASILY see how troubled marriages collapse under the daily stressors of raising multiples/toddlers.
Best of luck to you.

 

Firstly, I agree with pp on the relationship issues.

But I get what your saying about wanting another. I NEVER, EVER thought i would miss the baby stage. I used to think that having the twins cured me of ever wanting more children. But now that my girls are 17months and their growing up, I will miss that babyness lol. I used to get annoyed at those who said 'it will get better' etc. I used to really resent the way things changed with 2 babies as apposed to 1 and how hard things were (are!!!).
Now its not that things are any easier but my babies are growing up :cry:

 

I agree with PP's about the issues with the relationship. Ultimately, the decision comes down to what you and your fiance feel is best for your family. I wish you all the best with your decision!

 

Everyone else has given great advice about the relationship issues. I just wanted to tell you that there are some really wonderful things about having your kids further apart in age, if it comes to that for you. My DS was four when my twins were born, and he understood so much about what was happening. He was able to share in the wonders of having a pregnant mom, and loved the attention he got as a big brother. There are times when he really is a genuine help to me with the babies - he calls them "my babies" by the way! So while I can understand you wanting to have kids close in age, I promise there are also nice parts about having them further apart if that's what you decide is best given your situation.

 

I agree with Mommylaura above me too. It really won't matter how much age difference there is, it'll all work out whatever happens I wanted my kids close together too, but it wasn't meant to be for us. My oldest was 4.5 when his little sister was born. He was 7 when the twins were born (and my dd was 2.5). I wish they were a bit closer but at the same time it's was so nice having "my little helper" around

 

I have to chime in on age differences too. My sister is a full seven years younger than me and we are so close. I remember her as a newborn and the excitement I felt about being the helper to my mom. My seester is my best friend, age difference and all.

 

I too was having baby urges... then our entire house got a stomach bug. At one point, when I was in the shower puking holding a baby who was losing it from the other end, while DH got sick in the sink with the other baby, I wondered: what if there was a third child with no one to hold him while he got sick?

I figure, when I can answer that question (or questions about life's other little curveballs) I am ready. I think the same question would help you find your answer.

Plus, kids with a few years in-between can still be really close. The older takes pride in teaching the younger. Just ask my husband and his brother, L, who are 5 years apart. L is closer in age to his older brother T, but not as close with T as he is with J.

 

Hmmm, RE the age difference....
DS is 10 and was nearly 5 when dd was born. As he was/is quite a handful, the age differnce worked great. It meant I had one-on-one time with dd when she was a baby while ds was at school. At times I wished that they were closer in age, then fate played a funny little trick on me.....twins lol :rotflmbo: :rotflmbo: :rotflmbo:
We went from a large gap to a really really close one :laughing:

like pp, it was good having some gap there as ds and dd understood about the twins and how special it was. (4.5 yrs between dd and the twins)