123 Magic - I read it when my 12 year old was little ..can someone tell me...

Can someone briefly tell me the just of the book so I dont have to tear down the house to find my book thats probably missing half the pages anyway. I remember you tell them not to do something and you count to three and at three they suffer the consequence??? or something like that...can someone just brief me again on it...I need to implement with my 2 year old twin girls. Thanks

 

I did a search for a previous thread where I gave an overview, but couldn't find it... It's been awhile since I read it, so please bear with me (and others, please chime in!)

1. Remain calm. Do not show emotion such as frustration, etc. Neutral, neutral, neutral!
2. Do not lecture. Ever.
3. First infraction: Say, "Jackson, that's 1. No hitting (or whatever the infraction)."
4. 2nd infraction: Say, "Jackson, that's 2. (repeat the rest from above)."
5. 3rd infraction: Say, "Jackson, that's 3. Time Out (the book says to say "take five" but I don't like that phrase, so I say "time out")."
6. Take the child to time out. NO EMOTION. Remain neutral. I tell my boys to stay there until I tell them to come out.
7. Let them out of time out after 1 minute per year of age. I'm not sure how the book says to release them. We usually quickly and matter of factly say "you can come out when you're ready to play nicely and not hit", then we play lovingly and affectionately together thereafter. The infraction is NEVER revisited. Period.

I think that's it.... anyone else who wants to chime in, please do!

 

I have a pdf summary that someone posted awhile back. Is there a way to attach? Otherwise, email me at [email protected] and I can send it to you.

 

I just watched a video on it, and

the only thing I was going to add was that the counting for timeouts, was for "minor obnoxious behavior"... and for major behavior (hitting, poking, stealing, lying, breaking windows - I guess on purpose) you go straight to a timeout.

the other thing I had in my notes from watching it was that he said the 2 biggest mistakes people made were: 1) too much talking and 2) too much emotion (mostly anger/frustration)

good luck - I've been really happy with the success we've had for minor things!

 

I read this book ALONG time ago. But it really reminds me of Supernanny. I think this is the technique she uses. If you get a minute watch and episode of supernanny. She teaches this in almost every single episode.

What I see her correcting the most is people are talking to much to the child.

When you take them out of the time out you are supposed to tell them why you put them there and then ask them to say they are sorry. Also She does not to the counting, When the child does something wrong She asks them to stop doing it the first time, The second time she give the warning of a time out and the third time they are taken to time out.

 

I think Erin pretty much hit the high points. The only other thing I'd add is that counting is only for behaviors you want them to stop. It doesn't work for getting them to do something. So you wouldn't tell them to get their shoes, and then start counting them whent they don't.

 

In the video the author talked about the counting working for "stop behaviors"... behaviors you want to stop. he said his next book is for "start behaviors"... ones you want to encourage. I haven't looked into that book.

I also wanted to add that unlike the Super Nanny, 123 Magic does not talk about saying sorry or even referencing what they did... just counting and going to the timeout. Its just a different method. both have their good points.