1-2-3 Magic or Love and Logic

I would like to order 1-2-3 Magic or Love and Logic (the version for parents of younger children). Do any of you recommend one over the other? It might be possible for me to get these books through my library (they would have to get them from another branch). Are these books "one time reads" or books that I might want to refer to often? Both books get great reviews on Amazon.

 

I've read both and while I love the idea behind love and logic and really tried to put it to use, I found it too difficult to use. I had a hard time thinking so quickly. We did start 1-2-3 Magic about 4 months ago and it has been much easier to use, remember and the kids have really responded well to it. I do a little of the love the logic with natural consequences. They both have the no emotion aspect, which I think is important (even if it is sooooo hard for me). Oh, and I did have to go back a number of times to read parts of Love and Logic. I haven't really needed to with 1-2-3 Magic, but I might soon b/c I want to start working more on the "start behaviors".

 

I have both and really like them, and find they work well together. I have gone back and read parts of both of them, and need to again now. It seems like things change every 3-4 months and additional techniques apply. To me, Love and Logic applies earlier than 1-2-3 Magic so that one was more useful to me from 15-24 months than 1-2-3 Magic.

I also got a lot out of Playful Parenting.

 

I know the premise of 1-2-3 Magic but cannot comment specifically as I have not read it cover to cover. Probably would be great to peruse both books. I will say however that I am a huge fan of Love & Logic. You can find it at the library but will most likely want to own it. Or, wait and own their main book, not titled The Early Years, it is orange and just titled Love and Logic (goes through like age 17). There is a site called Better World Books that ships for free in the US (although takes a few days) and often you can find cheaper copies of books, sometimes dirt cheaps because they were leftovers from library sales, used book store closings, etc. Oh, and a percentage of every purchase is donated to global literacy. Just a tip for that.

Anyway, back to the topic. You won't remember every little thing from one read of L&L Early Years, however, like any other book, you will pick out the pieces you are ready to try and what fits with your family. L&L does offer classes across the country if you learn better than way. I read L&L alongside Siblings Without Rivalry (people on this board are going to get so sick of me mentioning that book - it is a MUST read.) The key is to practice and start early. If you wait until you think they will understand you word for word, it won't be too late but it will be much harder. If you start now by the time they are talking well they will have this great foundation and will not have to be taught. I think there are "tricks" out there in parenting books to try to get quick results, but what I like about L&L is that it not only teaches you how to respond to behavior, but it helps educate children (yes toddlers) on how that behavior affects others to give meaning behind why it is not tolerated. Still, the delivery lets a toddler maintain respect, the choices are powerful when used correctly, and the emphasis on positive feedback is key for me. I want my kids to feel empowered and respected and I think L&L is inspiring. Just my opinion of course. But DH and I come from some pretty verbally abusive families and we are determined to find that line of respect. Of course we have the final say as parents, but want to do it while allowing them dignity and a choice whenever possible, even at this young age. So far they are responding great and DH is way better than me at consistency. I still slip up. They really model our behavior to each other. It is pretty funny. I really feel like the aggressiveness has eased and they play really well together. Time will tell, but like anything it will take dedication and probably a willingness to possibly change yourself...harder than I thought but working everyday on it. Good luck Amber!

 

Betsy, I bought Siblings Without Rivalry from your recommendation earlier and am half way through it, and love it. Thank you for mentioning it!

 

I really like Love and Logic. It is working well for us. I have not read 1-2-3 Magic, but have a friend who swears by it. Sounds like both books have a lot to offer!