I have to laugh

I get this ALL the time. Mothers that think they know what it's like to have a twin pregnancy. I actually can't believe women even dare to compare a twin pregnancy to their singleton pregnancies when they have NO idea what it's like to carry two at once!!!

I'll sometimes get "Well I had a big baby, so I know how it would be with twins. Or, I get those who don't realise just how heavy it is carrrying two, and say that I'm not as big as they were with thier singletons...but I'm only 32 weeks now, so I am growing quite fast now.

I guess I find it a bit ridiculous and annoying when people act as though they know what it's like to carry twins and use their singleton pregnancies to relate. They have NO idea!!!!

 

thank you.....i really thought i was only one who felt like that...it seems to be ppl just look at me as if to say your only pregnant...yeah i know that but u try carrying 2 of everything and then tell me i am only pregnant...lol...

my sil is pregnant and takes it in her stride and everyone keeps telling me i should be more like emma she just gets on with it!! omg for a start i am only 5ft2 emma is 5ft9 so its a bit easier for her to carry the extra weight but i have 2 times as much goin on in there
ok sorry vent over...i feel better now thats out
xx

 

My thoughts exactly.....
I have a singleton, so people think, it must be easier this time, since I already know everything about pregnancy issues . One thing I know for sure is that they are totally different. And then people will comment, how big I am and ready to deliver. I dont even want to hear that right now, I want to get as far as I can. Most people dont understand why we need bedrest, or get so tired, or have so many complaints abouts aches and swellings and pains. A lady the other day told me how common it is to have twins now and with the latest technology life must be really smooth :angry: . Ya right......wanna trade places with me .
I have just given up trying to explain things to people. I dont even talk to most of my friends with singletons, cause they never hear what I have to say, but have zillion of suggestions of what they did during pregnancy :umm: .

 

I hear ya!!

My friends think their singleton pregnancies were just like having twins cause they had a larger baby. It's a WHOLE different ballpark, but they give ME advice on my TWIN pregnancy, LOL!!!! They didn't deal with the complications that can come along with most twin pregnancies. The aches and pains of so different than that of a singleton pregnancy. You HAVE to take it easy and slow down WAY more than with most singleton pregnancies. It's a wonderful thing to experience carrying twins, but not always easy.

And I am finding that the pregnancy brain thing is MUCH worse with twins, LMBO!!

 

Haha I'm not that far along and I'm already getting some of that!
My fiance's family who are all much older women think its alright to get after me about my weight and how big I am because I'm not huge yet. Everytime I'm on thre phone with his mom or he is she says I need to drink milkshakes everyday, I'm about to tell her to get off her butt and make me one then!! I already am showing a lot faster than with my son and am about to really start "inflating," with Noah I gained about 60 lbs alone!! Plus I wear dresses that hide my belly so far and I'm a really thin girl too. At my 13 week appt. I was measuring 16 weeks.

/rant

 

Some of my friends told me that my contractions are nothing at all to worry about, they got them in their pregnancies, too... but they didn't get about 20+ per day, nor did they have to take 2 hours a day just to keep track of contractions. They assume that all the contractions are harmless "BH" contractions, and they got me convinced I should ignore them just like they did... only for me to get a lecture from my OB about how my contractions are different because they last longer than 30 seconds (often about a minute and a half), occur frequently, and could actually cause dilation if I don't rest enough.

I have found that it's sometimes dangerous to take advice from those who never had twins. I ask my fellow twin mommies and my OB when I have questions or concerns. Otherwise, it's just irrelevant.

 

My favorite is one of my coworkers who actually told me, "You're lucky that you're having two at one time. It saves you the aggravation of having another pregnancy." Number one, this was going to be our last child (although I'm ecstatic it's twins). Number two, I think I'd rather have two separate pregnancies than all of the sickness, fatigue, etc, etc I've had with this one. Some people just don't get it.

 

Those poor (or I guess lucky ) people have no idea! Dax weighed more than the girls combined at birth, I had morning sickness with his pregnancy that I did not have with the twins, and I carried him for nearly 7 weeks longer but that pregnancy was a breeze compared to carrying twins. I wish carrying twins was so easy. :lol:

 

Just wait till you have the twins and they start giving you advice about dealing with newborns. But that's a different thread....

The one useful thing a singleton mom said to me about being pregnant was, "I love my kids, but I hated being pregnant." I felt like if a singleton mom felt that way, it was OK for me to hate it too.

 

Tell me about it, people are like why are you on bedrest you are not far along at all, or how much swelling i have on my feet and hands, people just don't get it. i really have given up on people, i don't even try to correct them anymore or say how much worse it is to carry around two, so what the technology has gone so far, but still a human body is a human body, you can not change that or what i feel, or how tiring it is, or how i am limping now day, they got the point when i said i have a fractured pelvic bone, that is good enough reason to limp but not if i had a pelvic bone pain, i should just get over it. :huh:

People really don't understand :angry: ok i am done venting now.... phew.. feeling better

 

You'll hear it all after they are born too, how they have 2 kids so it's the same as twins. :nea: <_<


Well my singleton was a big baby, she was 9 1/2 pounds when she was born, but it was definitely harder with the twin pregnancy. Even though I didn't make it very far, I got much more tired a lot earlier. So I can tell you, having had a singleton pregnancy and a twin pregnancy, they are not a like. And I am sure, especially towards the end they are not.

 

QUOTE(summerfun @ Jun 18 2008, 06:12 PM) [snapback]834031[/snapback]
You'll hear it all after they are born too, how they have 2 kids so it's the same as twins. :nea: <_<


I hate being told this! Well, I've only been told indirectly, but it drives me nuts! Some people just don't get it! I watch my friend with her 2yr old and her 8 month old, and I can see now that it will be different with me. She really has to keep an eye on her older son around her younger one and make sure he's playing nice enough not to hurt the baby. I can understand why she would be concerned about a stroller where the kids can get at each other. (I figure if my twins can be in the same crib, they can be in a sbs stroller.) But when your babies are the same age its a whole new ball park! Sorry, I just needed to vent a little....

The whole thing, though, makes me really appreciate my dr, who has twins, and the WIC nutritionist who also has twins Talk about feeling like you're being heard and understood! :yahoo:

 

Yeah, I think people try to relate. Truly, though, in many cases it's apples to oranges, even though many women can relate to being pg. I never carried one baby, only my twins. From what I can tell, a twin pg seems more intense.

 

My friend has two kids close in age, so she acts like it's just like having twins, lol! I know it's hard to have them close, but it's got to be way different than having twins. I know I'll be getting lots of advice from her when the twins arrive on how to take care of them, lol! I have 4 other kiddos, so having two will just mean I will be lots BUSIER. LOL!

 

I had a heavy singleton (LGA = Large for Gestational Age) so I already know what that was like! I don't know anybody who delivered a 15 1/2 lbs singleton at 38w2d ... so yes, they have no idea. On the other hand, I sometimes got tired of whining (singleton) pregnant women about how tired they were and how they wanted to get it over with. Sure, everybody's entitled to whine occassionally, but I didn't whine much and my load was way heavier than theirs! Same about getting out of the house with a toddler and a newborn ... I mean if I can get out of the house with a toddler and two newborns (at the time) then a toddler and a newborn should be doable too. Again, everybody can complain sometimes but I always felt that they were complaining more than I did, while the other way around would have been more realistic, but I didn't (that much!).

 

Get used to it! Once your twinks are here, then you'll here loads of people tell you that they had kids close together so it's "just like having twins." Rrrrrright. I had a woman the other morning at Starbucks ooh and aah over the boys...and then she told me that she had kids 16 months apart so at times she felt like she had twins. Oh, I bit my tongue big-time (mainly because DH works at Starbucks, and I didn't want him to lose a customer!).

Becky

 

Just yesterday my mom told me she never realized how different being pregnant with twins was until she read my books (she watches my daughter on Tuesdays and has read my books while she is there). That made me feel so grateful to her! Everyone else around me compares this to their singleton pregnancy and it is no where near the same. I had a large baby too, 9 lbs 12 oz and I am only 5 feet tall. But I never had the aches and pains that I do this time around. Sometimes I feel like people think I am a cry baby or something or look down on me because I have such strict limitations. But this isn't easy, physically or emotionally. I hate not being able to pick up my daughter ond relying on so many other people for help. It makes me feel like a bad mom, and that's tough! We all know how hard it is though so we will have to depend on each other for the support and understanding we need. Maybe someday someone we know will be pregnant with twins and we really can offer some advice and comfort!!!!

 

I still laugh when I hear people saying that. Twin pregnancy is not anywhere near having one in there. Everything hurts twice as much. Even havcing two babies close together is not the same...I heard that one alot when they were tiny. I'm sure its not easy but two at once can be a bit harder lol.

 

Boy oh boy I know what you mean....I am so tired of everyone I work with making me feel like I am insane.....I went to labor and delivery and when I came back to work my boss had the nerve to make it seem like I was just a big worry wart and she tells me next time ask me what is wrong with you and I will tell you I had 5 kids I would have never made it if I freaked out all the time like you do....Grrrrrrrrrr

 

It's nothing like having singletons....this is my 6th pregnancy and will be my 4th and 5th children. My son was 9 lb 12 oz and I'm only 5'3". I handled that pregnancy like a piece of cake and made it to 39 wk days with it. But, it was only just under 10 months ago! The doc's say that the closeness can lead to an early birth too, so they watch me close. I have never been so forgetful, swollen, exhausted and achey as I do this time. My lil sis and 6 other close relatives and friends are all expecting singletons and are just on the go and don't understand why I have to "take it easy" or can't hang out all the time. My sister has been "broken" since she found out she was pregnant, can't do anything for herself, a short walk makes her need a nap right away, and nobody has any clue what she is going through cause it's her first pregnancy. It's so annoying.

Then I get the people like my mother in law. She is a twin. She always says how her are her sister were full term and 16 lb together and she carried all her babies to term, so there is no need for me to think that I will go early and not to let the doctors convince me they should do a c-section or take the babies early. I also heard from a friends aunt that she made it to the end, so I can. It's not the same from person to person, and the only people who know what is going to happen with me and the babies and how to handle it are my OB, me and my hubby, and the babies.

AAGGGHHH!! it feels great to get that out.

 

Got this for the first time today from a friend , "I had friends that worked out in the gym during all their pregnancies, went swimming and even jogging up to a point. But everyone's different."

Gah....