Very depressed about having twins

I'm 24 and I have a 7 year old and a 5 year old. I just recently found out that I'm pregnant with twins. I'm seven weeks in and I'm so upset with this that I don't know what to do. My husband and I became parents at a very young age and never regretted it our children are everything to us. So why am I so sad to be having twins? I can't get even a little bit excited about this, I cry all day and I don't even want to eat. I stopped doing all the things I enjoy. I have even had suicidal thoughts. I wish I could have an abortion but my husband would leave me and tell my whole family. I gave so much of myself to my kids and I was finally starting to have a life independent of their every needs, I don't think I have anymore of myself to give. I can't afford anymore kids we are struggling to make ends meet. We will never go back to school now or get a house, our life has now been condemned to poverty.

 

Please help.

 

I think it might be good to talk with your primary or obgyn doctor and your husband about these feelings you are having. Please seek out some help. It is not healthy for you or the babies to experience this much stress. I hope you are able to come to an acceptance of this pregnancy

 

The feelings that you're having about twins are normal; any new pregnancy can bring on some resentment, and then double the load and WHOA. I think you'll find that many new moms here have experienced the same thing. Having those feelings does not make you a bad person, and it's important to talk about them. I know it's overwhelming but there are tons of resources out there for families with multiples where you might be able to get things discounted, free, or on loan. Maybe someone on here near Denver (I see your location) can help direct you?
 
I am very concerned that you mentioned suicide though; please, please, please talk to your doctor, spouse,  trusted family friend, clergy, whoever about that. Please, feel free to use this forum to discuss whatever you need to, and know that many women can empathize with the position you're in. Big hugs mama, you have a lot on your plate right now, but we are here to help you figure everything out.

 

PMing you.

 

You are in a tough spot: please go to your doctor, obgyn, clergy, trusted friend, husband and find someone to talk to, your depression sounds severe and you might need medications even if you are pregnant. You could also call a suicide prevention line 1-800-273-8255 and they can help give you direction.

Hugs.

 

I agree with all of these ladies...please discuss your feelings with your OB or doctor you trust.  Check in with us when you can.
I know having twins is an overwhelming feeling, I remember feeling very overwhelmed when we first got the news and we did not have two other children.

 

I was depressed when I found out I was pregnant with twins too...and for similar reasons-mainly being the $$$.  We were comfortable enough and thought we could have one more child comfortably-but we were not financially ready to have 3 kids.  Thankfully my family stepped up to help us with childcare (took turns watching them while we worked) and we made due.  I did have major anxiety issues when they were infants-but 6 years later and we are great!! Try to just take one day at a time and not focus on the huge picture (that can be overwhelming) just handle things as they come and do what you can to survive. 
We're here to help and I do agree you need to discuss your thoughts with a doctor. 

 

I felt a lil the same way when I found out. Please rethink the abortion there is always someone who can't have kids that would love to have them. I'll pray for you and your family. Give it a lil while you can have so many emotions being pregnant with twins... I'm due anytime between now and 3 weeks with boy twins and I can't wait... Praying God fills you with that same excitement it is a blessing from god!!!! I'm here to talk if you need someone.

 

I understand much of what you are going through. My husband and I have 5 year old, a 2 year old, and a 1 year old. I'm 18 weeks pregnant with twins. We found out 10 weeks ago. I was completely shell shocked for about a month. I was stressing out about it so much it was causing hyperthyroid issues. We will have 5 children by February. I have been terrified.

I've finally come to accept it and even find some joy in it. However, the next year or more is going be daunting with raising all the little ones, the nursing, the diapers, the housework. It's scary, but I'll get through it like everything else: one day at a time.
 
Please remember you are NOT in this alone. Your husband is your partner, and it sounds like he already loves your twins. Your mom/MIL will help. Friends will help. Do not push them away, thinking you are a burden to people. They wouldn't offer their help if they didn't want to give it. You will need it. The best thing you can do is accept their help, thank them profusely, and if the time comes later, help them in return.
 
I also understand the fear of money woes with lots of children. From the time my husband and I married, I don't think we have EVER made more than $10K a year. More like $7K plus our tax return. We run a household and keep one vehicle running on that piddly amount of money. $400 a month goes to our rent. We have FoodShare, and MedicAid. We get hand-me-downs for the kids, our vehicle is starting to rust, we get our furniture on Craiglist or hand me downs from relatives. We're poor, poor, poor. But we keep our clothes looking nice, and we drive a used SUV in pretty good condition (except for the rust. ), so most people have NO idea how little money we actually live off of. We don't do much shopping for ourselves, if we buy clothes for ourselves, it's from gift money for our birthdays and anniversary or Christmas. Although in the past few years, our birthday gift money has gone for diapers or kid's shoes and school supplies.

One thing my husband has done recently is take a test called the Civil Service Test. It is a test required in order to apply to government jobs. The lowest pay is $12/hour. He scored really well, and has been selective in what he applies to. Pretty much nothing under $14/hour. Him getting a job like that will more than triple our income. I've started refinishing furniture. I made $200 this summer reselling it. I paid our son's kindergarten tuition with that.

When he gets a job from all the applications he's sending in, I have NO IDEA what we're going to even do with that amount of money. Shit, maybe we can pay off our school loans, or put some into savings so a $200 car repair won't break us. Maybe eventually we could even take our honeymoon that we never got. Who knows.

My point is that you need to stop thinking that the life/financial situation you are living in right now is the way it's going to be forever and ever. How many people do you know in their 40s and 50s are in the same financial situation they were when they were newly married with young children? If you plan for the future, you will move toward it. If you get caught up only thinking of the here and now, you'll always be stuck there. So don't lose hope.

 

When I was pregnant with twins I was also depressed mainly because I know how much it costs to raise a child and then suddenly being told there's 2.

But now they're born I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

Michelle-how are you doing?