My sanity

So, this is my second post on this forum today. I'm feeling really overwhelmed right now! Do any of you have significant others who travel frequently for work? How do you manage everything while keeping sane? My DH came home yesterday and told me that he will be getting a job promotion, which has been a very long time coming, at work. This most likely will mean a significant boost in income for us, which is much needed, but this also means he will be traveling from Sunday night through Thursday night most weeks. He will be home from Friday (working at the office Friday) to Sunday. If he accepts this promotion, then I most likely get to stay home full time with the kids (I work part time right now), which.. I believe will be a major blessing. I am very concerned, however, about handling everything from my end. This is a short term (2 year) career move, but DH and I believe his is the best thing for us going forward. I do have my parents that live close, but their help comes with major strings attached. I don't really have a support system, mom-wise right now, so I feel like I am an island all on my own. I desperately want to make this work for our family and make the most out of these years with my children. DH and I have talked a lot about keeping open communication between us. I do handle the kids on my own most of the time right now anyway.. It's really about my ability to handle things without DH physically here in the evenings. When will I have time for myself? I know it sounds selfish, but I know that in order to take good care of my kids I need to be able to take good care of myself. I am pondering putting the girls in part-time preschool, which would help, but could be costly. How do you all do it with a DH that travels? Do you have a support system?

We are also pondering trying for #4 soon... I'm beginning to think we are nuts!

 

What about having a regular babysitter one evening/week... like Tuesday or Wednesday when you might be reaching burnout stage? You could go shopping alone, have a girls night, or just go for a quiet walk, etc.

 

Yes! This is so true. Don't feel guilty or always let the "you" time be the thing that is sacrificed.



What I would do is sit down and look at how much you could budget toward "life balance" and then decide what you think will work best for you & the children. Would it be preschool? Maybe it's babysitting (or housecleaner, or massage, or ...) dollars in reserve for you to use as/when desired. Do you want to be tied to the preschool schedule? How long would the preschool days be? Some of the preschools here are four days a week but only 2 or 2 1/2 hours long. That's not really that long to go do something like get your hair done and be back for pickup. (depending of course on how far it is from the school) If you spend all of the "extra" money on preschool, will you wish you had more flexibility? I found my children loved preschool & did get a lot out of it but I didn't love that it tied up our days - for example we couldn't do certain things like go to the zoo on preschool days even though it's only 3 hours out of the whole day based on drop off/pick up times & distance to the zoo...

 

My husband is in the military so he is gone a lot, and usually for months at a time. I don't know how old your kids are but my twins are in school and having them gone during the day helps me, gives me a little break from them. Other than that, I just keep busy to keep the time going by faster. I have a group of friends who also have military husbands so they know the drill. We all kind of look out for each other too. My husband's travel is never a set schedule and he usually gets only a few days (if that) notice on travel dates so it keeps things interesting. And even when he is home, his schedule is so all-over-the-place that I can't rely on him to be home anyway. We are trying for #4 and yes, I do think I'm crazy. :laughing: