Birthday etiquette?

Yesterday we had a birthday party for my 7 year old twins. Lots of kids, lots of fun. They had a great time

But when it was time for presents, kids were crowding & climbing over them so much it was impossible to see anything. I did my best to keep them aware of who each gift was from & say thank you for every gift, but it was just chaotic. And of course with twins, it was double. I asked several times for the kids to sit down, but I started to feel like the bad guy as I was the only adult to say anything.

Any tips for next year?

 

Don't open gifts at the party! We haven't done it in years. Even when they boys had a sleepover party, we waited until there was one kids left before opening the gifts. My kids also have the rule that they can't play/use any gifts until thank you notes are written--gets the TY notes written quickly!

 

I have the same problem. Generally I enlist the help of my sister or another adult there. But, it is a mess.

 

I used to have them open gifts at the party (nice for the guests to see their gifts being opened and appreciated) but I don't anymore. This is why: My girls were invited to a friend's 7th birthday party. We put a lot of thought into a gift that she would love and that would fit with her parents' values. They have an organic farm, are totally vegetable and fruit sufficient and will be starch sufficient in a year, they reuse, reduce, recycle, make their own popsicles out of rare and exotic fruit, the child (only child) craves time with other kids, has free range of the farm, goes barefoot a lot etc. The previous year, her parents had given her a footstool handcarved out of rare wood - an heirloom type piece. You get the idea. We wanted to avoid plastic toys, the old standby project kits and such. We finally settled on horseback riding. The mom thought it was a wonderful idea. My girls took a nice card to the party explaining that they couldn't bring the gift because, Ta-dah! it was riding lessons! and how they could all spend the morning together doing that another day. Well, of course it was buried under the pile of colorful gift bags and boxes at the party. After all the other gifts were opened, I fished out the card, gave it to my girls and told them to hand it to the B'day girl. As they were giving it to her, another guest said loudly to the B'day girl "Don't expect much, it doesn't look very good." My kids' hearts and faces just came crashing down. I could see how they were thinking that their well thought out, unique, (not to mention expensive) gift was not as good as the plastic toys, fake makeup and last minute craft kits. The B'day girl opened it, read it out loud and thanked them nicely, her mom feigned surpise (she already knew what we were giving) and talked about how fun and exciting it would be, but the damage was done. On the way home we talked about how we had put a lot of thought into the gift and how she would have the memories and pictures forever while the plastic trinkets would soon be lost and broken, and how some people need to learn manners and keep their thoughts to themselves.

A week later the three of them had an absolutely fantastic morning of riding, chores and playing around the barn and I decided not to open gifts at our parties any more.

 

I skip opening gifts at the party, too chaotic!

 

That is SUCH a good gift! And this story makes me so sad.

 

We have always had my girls parties outside of the house. There is no time for opening up the gifts. When my girls were little, we used to have their aunts and uncles come to the party, along with grand parents come back to our house,. That was when we would open up presents. It was so crazy. I can't imagine through more children into the mix.

 

We stopped opening gifts at parties too. We did it for a few reasons, I felt the presents at the beginning got alot of attention where the presents at the end got very little. I felt that the kids that did not bring the "high quality" (not that there is anything wrong with that) gifts seemed to be embarassed compared to the ones whose parents seem to go all out. I also think it really depends on the party. If it is at a bounce house, pool party etc, do kids really want to spend 30 minutes watching A & Z opening gifts or do they just want to play???

If you want to open gifts and keep the attention on the gifts and keep it special... Have the kid that brought the gift hand the present out.

I also always have the girls premake their thank you cards and include them in the goodie bags going home to kids.

 

Agreed, don't open the gifts at the party. It gets crazy.