Only ONE recommended for Kindergarten

Our girls have always reached their milestones several months apart. They have been in pre-school since they were two years old, but at 4 years old they go full time to Pre-Kindergarten (THEY WILL BE 5 IN MAY). All children are tested for readiness for Kindergarten and one scored 92 the other 66 out of 100 (80 is the lowest before they recommend they stay back and go to “transitional” kindergarten/Junior Kindergarten).

This preschool is part of a private elementary school so their standards are high—I think? The children can all write the alphabet, names, count to 20+, and there are some early readers. However next year they will be going to the public school (which I’m hoping may not be as rigorous?) but, it is California award winning school rated “10”.
I understand the recommendation, and probably wouldn’t hesitate if they were siblings years apart. But I have to think long term. Of course we are struggling because they are twins; what will this do to poor Julia’s esteem being the twin that is a grade lower than her twin sister? One will graduate to Jr High and High school sooner; one will go off to college sooner, etc.

In the meantime we are starting her with an after school program that will help improve her listening skills and speech (she struggles with processing) So, my thought right now is to put her into regular Kindergarten assuming by September she will be ready to handle it hoping this afterschool program will help; wait perhaps for their new school to give me their recommendation after several months as their standards may be different.
Which is more frustrating; struggling in school academically or struggling in school for personal reasons?

I just don’t want to give up without trying.

 

If you want to keep them together then, in my opinion, just wait until next year to start them both. My girls were both 6 when they started K (actually they turned 6 in Dec). A close friend of mine whose little girl is in the same grade as my girls purposely made her daughter wait until she was 6 before starting (she turned 6 July before K), even though she is really intelligent and could have easily done well starting a year before. She just wanted her to be one of the older students, instead of one of the younger ones. I don't see rushing them off into K if it isn't necessary, and it seems to me that May is a great birthday to have because you have that option of waiting another year before sending them both if you want to. And, the girl that is ahead will not be held back because she waited a year. My friends' girl is one of the top students in her class and still excels even though she waited a year. I see no signs that holding her back a year has hindered her from excelling.

It's a hard decision to make, but it's better to hold back the girl who isn't quite there now then to have to hold her back in K or another grade. I had to hold my son back in 3rd grade and it was terrible for him. He has never forgotten how he felt and he is in 8th grade now. Of course, he understands, but it was a huge blow for his self-confidence.

 

Given that you are doing regular Kindergarten, I would enroll both kiddos in K.

Here is what I was thinking:

They will be a solid 5 when school starts. So they are not young for grade unless you start in June or some other unusual calendar. CA also has a later cut-off age, so with a May birthday- your DD would in no way be 'young' if their are kiddos with Bdays from Jun-Dec in K as well (turning 5).

A lot can change in 6-9 months. If you do summer program and great gains are made, you may have trouble getting switching from JK to K.

If your DD does really have some moderate to severe speech/language issues that qualify for speech therapy. The sooner she gets services, the better. K is an excellent place to start (or continue)speech/support at school. The school can do a through evaluation and determine what they can do to help (public schools) her succeed. You can get both school and private based services for more intensive support (if your insurance covers private). This would be my biggest rationale-- you can even request a referral now through your 3-5 yr old programs and send her to K with supports (if needed in place). If she has a history of struggling, then it is not likely a year will automatically have her hitting milestones on time all the sudden.

Do a complete hearing test. See if she may have an auditory processing or a physical reason for hearing/listening. If anything is found, then both speech and support for what they find could really help.

I am more for a repeat of K (if needed) than doing JK first (unless a child is really young for grade) if needed. So much can change in 12-18 months. A repeating K is fairly common and not seen the same as repeating other grades. A kiddo that does JK, even if they make gains, may always be on the same track (so to speak)- and go to K then 1st, etc. It is much more rare for a kiddo to go from JK to 1st.

Visit the local K program. See if it is 1/2 day or all day. What does it look like at the start of the year? Do they have a JK/K split? Do they use the same assessment tool and the same cut-off range as the private school?

I would also look into 'why' the lower score. Was it all academic or all social or a pretty even across the board lower than expected (to get minimum score)?? That may make a difference as well. If a specific area brought down the overall score--- maybe you are looking at a learning concern that would be best addressed in a classroom or with social skills classes, etc.

Maybe meet with the school you will attend next fall. They may feel differently than the current private school, and/or have some suggestions. They may also have a better developmental program for K. K can vary so much from school to school---even schools with 10 ratings!. Kids also come into K as such a wide variety of levels that K teachers are some of the best at differentiating.


Just my opinion though. I know that expectations, K programs, and 'age start trends' vary so widely that it can be very different due to the area you are in!

My DDs are young for grade (Oct Bday-- so this year they were 6 turning 7 in 2nd grade) and one was not really ready for 1st socially. We sent both of them with support. Now midway through 2nd, it was a good choice. She will likely be a bit socially quirky (not in a bad way, but just unique) always regardless of what grade she is in. BUT that said--we were open to repeating 1st if needed, but wanted to see what 12 months would bring. I can not picture them in 1st grade this year....it would not have worked well for our DD at.all. socially or academically.

The 'class' makes a difference as well. It just happens that my DDs class is young-ish with a lot of summer/fall Bdays. They also are a very kind group of kids with a good dynamic. There is no way we would have known that in advance, but it worked in our DDs favor! The class size is also smaller for their current grade than the one behind it, which is overcrowded. Just something else to consider (class size).

Each choice for each family is different, as is each choice for each child. Use the information you have a be prepared to change plans if needed!


It is only Feb. can you reassess in May or June? That may be the way to get the most accurate information. Talking with the school you will be attending is also likely to help you decide.

 

I would go ahead and apply for K. Like PP said, there is so much growth that occurs from now until September, it will amaze you. I also like the idea that you can get services you need, earlier if you go to K next year.

 

Was this evaluation through the private school? Does the public school do its own evaluation?
What is the cut off for starting kindergarten in your district? My girls school is by calendar year. So every kid in the class unless they started K a year later are all born in the same year.

Can they both right their names? Write the alphabet?

 

I'd enroll them both as well, and just work more with her this Summer.

 

I'd enroll them both in public kindergarten. Your daughter who is slightly behind may make amazing improvements by September. And even if she doesn't, the public system is very used to advanced kids, medium kids, kids who are behind, and those with real learning difficulties. Besides, you may be surprised at how she stacks up against the kids who will be in her class that didn't go to private preschool. We certainly were!

For what it's worth, my girls were born in May as well. One was extremely ready for kindergarten this past Spring, the other was so-so. I figured she'd be able to handle it, but wasn't completely confident. They're both doing great in public kindergarten this year. They have different strengths and weaknesses, and my overachiever is still ahead when it comes to reading and math, but they both love it and are where they should be.

 

I'd enroll them both too. I'd hate to hold the one back who is doing so well, and I could not imagine them being in separate grades every single year, so I think working with the one like you are is the best option. As others have mentioned, the public school may have a separate screening process and have access to programs that will benefit your child who might need extra help in some areas. Some kids don't even do preschool, and it sounds like your kids have had a lot of exposure in that area and they know all the basics they should be expected to know.

 

I"d enroll them both. A lot could happen and what's the worst that could happen? Have one repeat kindergarten? I would hate for the one with the higher score to be bored.

 

I agree with the others that say to send them. They, or one can always repeat K if necessary. They are also individual children, and is it fair to the one who is ready to hold her back just because her sister may or may not be ready? I know many offer the argument that waiting never hurts, I have to respectfully disagree. I have seen too many kids who are bored, or "over" their grade peers because they are a year older and more mature. I had more than one parent tell me that she regrets holding her son back, because he complains about being older than everyone else, and can't be on the same teams as his classmates due to the teams being split by age.

Some kids need that year, some don't. It needs to be based on the individual, not "because I want them to be older". In addition, if she does happen to have a learning disability, retention doesn't help! Kids with special needs don't suddenly overcome their issues by repeating a grade--they have different ways of learning and need to be taught within how they can learn.

As others have said, a lot can change in the next 6-9 months! I have one boy who read fluently at 3 1/2 years old, the other didn't read until K, and finished 1st reading on 1st grade level. Now in 5th grade, both are reading on a 7th grade level! Oh, and BTW, they are late June birthdays, who went to school at just over 5. One is also the tallest boy in the class--even though he is one of the youngest! He is the tallest and youngest on their basketball team!

 

Thank you so much ladies! I'm feeling more hopeful. The public school doesn't require anything accept for turning 5 prior to September 2nd. Our school year starts late August. They can both write their names and alphabet (but the differences are big). Julia has been in speech before she was 2 years old. She has been evaluated by the state and privately and most recently a large private screening (offered free through the preschool). They recommended the program to start in Feb-July—but that is costing us big!!
I did think of holding her sister behind too, but only for a second. However, It did make me feel better from the PP that even super smart kids waiting one year didn’t hurt them either. But I just couldn’t do that to her as she is just too eager and wants to start kindergarten now, she is an early reader and I don’t think she will be truly happy practicing the alphabet for another year.

I also know that we need to make final decisions before 1st grade, I know being held back later can really hurt.

After the program ends we are getting her retested—I hope solely on her academic skills (not so much on gross motor skills as she is "behind" there too).

 

My girls worked thru k great( no prior testing) and both are in speech now as 1st graders(almost id speech test results) Jess has a lisp. She can't say Ss or Zs which means I made some horrible name choices . She also stutters. Jazz stutters and can't say Zs (yes I know ). They have really worked with them well to help them with the speech issues and to keep them on target academically. My girls have all As

I would send them both. Work with them both equally thru the summer. Once they are in k. The teacher should be able to point out areas she needs help in. We did voluntary summer school over the summer to keep them fresh and on target but they offer a free after school program thru the year as well if we thought they need it. They do their home work and projects and an exercise activity. If the school doesn't provide this maybe you could find a private after school program.

I've got your back. It's hard having one with more issues than the other.

 

It is soo tough. I agonzied for months on K or 1st....PreK or K....etc. Right now, I am glad how it worked out for my girls. I will take each year as it comes!


Good Luck! :grouphug:

 

I would enroll them both too. Holding one back because of the other, is definitely not going to help either one of them. We have a very different system here but my twins started Primary here at 4y8m (31 December is the cut off, they go by birth year) as they are November born. They were the youngest of the class. Starting Primary here means full force into reading and writing (Primary is 5-11 yo, then Secondary 11-18 yo). They couldn't before (well write a little and read 10 words), and they have amazed me so much. My son (speech delayed and all) ended up in the top reading group of his class (and he still is in Year 2, technically Grade 1 equivalent) coming from the lowest starting level. My daughter, slightly slower start but now in the top group as well and also top of her class in several other areas. They have surprised me. I knew they are "normal" kids, but they grabbed the opportunity and have excelled so much. Cannot imagine I considered holding my son back. Of course they're not perfect, and they still need to work on their weaknesses, but no different than the other children in their class. I would go for it now ... they may both surprise you!

 

You said your daughter got a 66 out of 100 on this test. How accurate do you think her score is? Lots of things can affect test scores, like being tired or hungry. Maybe your daughter just wasn't in the mood to take this test? Or maybe she didn't like the person giving the test? I'd want to look at the big picture; maybe that test score isn't so important?

 

I think this is a great point. What do you & Dh think? What if there wasn't a test? Our school district doesn't test. They can start if they are 5 by October 1st, period.

I would start them both. It's still a long time until school starts, her readiness can improve tremendously by then. I've now volunteered in all three of my children's K classrooms. There is a huge range coming in to school here - some kids are already reading and some don't yet know all their letters & sounds. I have been very impressed with how well the teachers have worked with them all.


FYI: Here is a link to the State of Ohio's KIndergarten Learning Assessment Our school uses a "gentle start" for Kindergarten. The first three days of school, only 1/3 of the class comes each day. The teacher plus additional school staff are in the room helping to acclimate the children and do this assessment. It is not used to screen for entrance but rather to let teachers know "where the student is".

 

Thank you…It is reassuring that many children start off at different levels. We have always known Julia is not as mature or progressing as fast as her peers. She was a late walker, is speech delayed and has trouble processing directions. The testing includes gross motor skills as well as letters, counting and shapes. Where she scored lower or “areas of concern” were repeating a sentence, gross motor skills, following 3 step directions, etc. We hope to have her retested after the school year and ask that her gross motor skills be taken out of the equation. However, regardless since she will be going to another school next year we are planning on starting them both in Kindergarten and hope that she catches up. Based on her past, if all that happens is that she repeats Kindergarten I will be happy. I just don’t want to give in too soon and give her the opportunity if I can help it.