Kindergarten - to separate or not

Just a quick question... for preschool the twins have been in the same (large) classroom with 3 teachers so there was a 10:1 ratio still, and they were able to separate the twins into different circle times etc.

But now we'll be going to a new school and I'm thinking because mine are so competitive that they might need to be separated, any ideas on separating them or not would be helpful for me to start to comtemplate.

We will start full day Kindergarten in the fall.

Thanks!

 

My girls have been separated since K. I had planned on it, but their per-k teacher recommended we separate them. It is great. They each get to be themselves and not known as the twins. In fact this year Dani's teacher didn't even know she was a twin till meet the teacher night.

 

oh, and one thing I don't look forward to is if separated they will have totally different things... UGH... different projects etc. I know, it's life, right?!!

I will ask their current teachers, just waiting until a few more weeks when I have time to go in.

 

My girls are in kindergarten and are separated (they were separated in pre k last yr too). There are down sides, like different projects and different classroom activies, but the girls' teachers actually coordinate a lot and so it's not too terrible. Plus the teachers are very sweet about them being twins and have sent home things for the sister in the opposite class (like the treats they got for Halloween, each teacher sent a baggy of goodies home for sister).

That said the up sides far outweigh the downsides for us. My girls have become independent, made their own friends, and play so much nicer at home for the time they spend apart at school. Good luck with your decision.

 

Great thread... we plan on separating per preschool teachers suggestion... and I see why... and agree ... BUT I am SO nervous...

 

I am not. Yet. The teacher said they are amazing in the classroom-independent, do their own thing, but they are definitely aware of each other. She said she would love to see them apart. I just cringe at the thought. :cry:

N would be fine, it's A I would worry about. He was so upset this am because N was going downstairs without him and he was going to be upstairs alone(using the bathroom). I know they would adjust, etc, and be fine. I just can't do it. Yet. I will see how K goes and go from there(they are doing half day).

Good luck with your decision!

 

If you feel it's time then go for it. We kept the girls together for k but they got so competive towards the end and over the summer that we seperated them. They have been fine seperated in 1st. They have almost identical grades

 

We will not for KDG and after that, it will be up to their teachers. There are only two teachers per grade level at our elementary school and the kids are clustered by ability levels, so after KDG it will just depend on their school performance where they end up.

 

You have to go with your gut on this one . . . and the teacher's advice.

My boys were in 2 years of pre-school, Kindergarten and 1st grade together and it has been wonderful - for them. We originally placed them together because they wanted to be together and we weren't seeing any dependency issues or competitive issues, so we had no argument against them staying together. They are highly independent, have their own friends and don't get into each others business. We have had no issues with them getting tired of each other, or fighting at home either. Maybe because they have a sister and it's not just the two of them. They have always had their own set of friends, and may or may not play as one big group with each other at recess. They've had some big things happen to each of them in the classroom or at recess and the other twin didn't even realize anything had happened because they're totally doing their own thing. Yet both want to stay together in the same classroom.

We plan on keeping our boys together until they ask to be separated or a teacher starts noticing negative things in the classroom. It is such an individual thing, in my opinion, and there isn't a "one answer fits all" response.

 

My girls have been together since preschool. Every year we ask the teachers opinion on separating them or keeping them together for the next year...and I ask my girls what they want. So far, teachers said they do great together. We always make sure the teacher separates them in the classroom (different tables or groups when possible) and we have had really successful years. For next year the girls talked about having their own classroom and seemed to be really excited about being separated, but just last week decided that maybe that want to stay together another year...so we'll wait and see for next year. It's a hard decision, but seek the teacher's opinion. They spend a lot of time with your twins and will be able to help guide you in making the right choice.

 

great responses!! The old school has such a large class and might be able to keep them in separate circle times etc. easier than the new one, I need to have my list of questions for the new school ready when they have their open house at the end of the month. that was sweet what one person said about the teachers sending home goodie bags for the other twin! it is definitely those kind of things different activities that I don't look forward to if they don't get the same thing. already if we're invited to the same birthday party they bicker over the goodie bags... because usually the host is kind enough to do a boy bag and a girl bag... UGH my boy asks why he didn't get the girly thing and my girl asks why she didn't get the car thing etc! (I can't win!)

I love hearing other people's responses, I asked a while ago if they wanted different classrooms and I think one did, and the other didn't... we did have to separate their rooms at home last year because of all the fighting...

I think deep down it seems like it might be best to separate... but it seems like it might be easier homework wise etc. if they were the same... we'll see... guess Kindergarten shouldn't have homework... (hopefully!)

 

oh, and someone said that there might be 4 sets of twins in their year!! haha!!! should be interesting... they could almost have half a classroom if we all stuck together!

I think there are 3 classrooms, can't remember if there are 4 or not.

 

My boys have been separated since K. For me, a lot of it was that I couldn't do it their teacher! Plus, one was reading at 3 1/2 and the other wasn't. I didn't want either them comparing themselves, or their teachers comparing them. I just felt it wasn't fair to anyone! Ironically, now, in 5th grade, they choose to sit together at lunch, have the same friends (to the point that they all get along when together), and are headed to being in the same classes next year in middle school, when they start having honors classes.

As for different work, etc., if they were different ages, they would have different work. They are still 2 different people and don't have to have the exact same experiences, that is life. You need to do what is best overall for them--sometimes we guess right, and sometimes wrong, but we all try to do our best.

 

Honestly, my kids are in 3rd grade and have always had the same homework and the same projects. It's been fine. We kept them together by choice in kindergarten and then there ended up not being the option to separate then anyway. We split in 1st grade because they each just needed more space. (Listening to them compete to tell me about their days was driving me up the wall). The story-telling competitions quit once they were split in school. On field trips, the teachers just put both in my group. The teachers also alternated which classroom I volunteered in. It's honestly never been an issue.

Marissa

 

My girls do exactly the same work and same home work

 

This is the perfect quote to parenting twins

All these responses reminded me why I don't want my kids to grow up and g to K

 

I am having the same question going through my mind! I am registering the twins on Friday for Junior Kindergarten and the school policy is to separate twins but I know there was a set in JK this yr whose parent insisted that they stay together. I am a little stressed over it. I am interested in seeing what you decide to do.

 

Separating here. Definitely the best for them.

 

yeah, I'll be interested in knowing what we ultimately do too! I was chatting again tonight with my husband, and he reminded me that in the past my Pre-K teachers have said that they do their own thing, have their own friends etc, in the same classroom. And we see that at our church children's program - so maybe it will be ok to be in the same room. I'll have to ask the pre-k teachers. and maybe ask them to look ahead to what they would recommend for the next year etc.

one thing that I worry about is that the Kindergarten year is such a "fun year" at this school... one class does cooking in the classroom every Friday, I think by tthe alphabet. another follows the adventures of a bear through traveling the world etc, and not sure about the other two rooms. Just seems it would be a bragging fest on Friday's to hear what one twin got to cook and the other didn't...

and then maybe I'm making too much of it. I know they are different people... and we have another one here that we'll have to have in school in 4 more years too, so I get that I'll have multiple rooms and teachers evenutally!

 

I've dealt with this too. In one of my girl's rooms there is a treasure box for good behavior. In the other there isn't. One earned a trip to the new big kid's playground, the other class didn't. I won't lie, there have been tears, but its a good lesson that not everything is going to be equal and that's ok. Having special things is nice.

 

Totally agree with the above.

Another thing to consider is where they are academically. Many classrooms have different groups based on ability level. Sometimes these groups are only in that classroom, sometimes it's across the entire grade level (meaning they would leave their classroom and go to a different teacher for that subject). If your twins are at different levels, seeing their twin in the top/bottom/grade level group can cause issues if they are competitive.

 

This scenario fits us too-- minus the younger sister and the fact mine are girls.

If we had any dependency or competitiveness we would split, but so far it actually works out well. There is a small group in their class that is at similar levels and gets some differentiated work-- (last year kids rotated classes for grouping in reading and math but not this year)...they are very very similar academically (one is slightly stronger writer and one is stronger in math--- but they are in same work groups it is pretty small difference).

Mine have been together since preschool and are now in 2nd (age 7). I dont know at what point we will spilt them.

 

We separated for Kindergarten and it was the right decision for our kids. I think they have really grown and matured in their own classes this year. So far, projects and homework have been the same for us. My kids teachers are right next door to each other and do a lot of the same activities, which has been nice.

Like others have said, you have to trust your judgement and do waht you think is best for your kids.

 

Unfortunately, my daughters have been upset over this too. One of them has had two more fun classrooms in a row (cooking, special crafts, more PJ parties, etc.) But that would not sway my decision to separate them. They went to preschool together, and I separated them for kindi, and now first grade. They are not so much competitive, but they are at two very different academic levels and I did not want that to affect their classroom dynamics. Plus, it has been really good for them to find their own friends and not depend on each other.

Each year they have had teachers who plan together, so they have always had the same homework (so far). One of them gets additional "advanced" homework too, but the core work is the same.

 

The kindergarten school they will be going to is a year-round calendar. We will be separating them. At least at first. I know that sounds weird, but we requested track 2 in our school and in third and fourth grade, the track has only one class. Then there currently isn't even a track 2 in 5th grade. We figured by the time they get to third grade we'll know if they need to continue to be separated and if we should request a different track at that time. DH and I would have requested track 3 originally, which is two classes k-5, but the timing of the breaks were not ideal to us, but it is our second choice so I'm good either track. Anyhoo, we want them separated because right now, they don't share space that well in school. They had to share friends, project, and teacher's attention, and things got pretty bad with them in that situation. They play MUCH better at home when they don't have to share a classroom. They do love each other, but Kiefer needs his space and Cameron requires more attention from everyone so it wasn't such a good idea to put them in a school with only one class. We had to find a preschool that had two classrooms per age group. They are thriving now.

 

If separating mine was an option I would do it. I don't think it's going to be an issue for my two because I don't think they are together a whole lot in class anyway. But if I could, I would separate mine so that they'd be the same as all the other kids. Most kids don't get a sibling in their class and I like the idea of other kids getting to know them as individuals instead of twins.

However, unless I wanted one speaking French and one speaking Spanish, separating just isn't an option.

 

I'm also torn with this too. My kids are very shy in school and rely on each other. They do well academically, but they aren't the type to go out and make their own friends. They stick together. I hate to tear them apart and out of their comfort zone - especially when next year is full day kindergarten, when they only go 3 mornings a week now. But I'm hoping they will branch out and make their own friends if they are separated. I think it might be good for them. And they are competitive at home, I could see this being a problem in the classroom and it bothering my daughter because my son is more outspoken about it. I can tell it bothers her, but I don't think she would tell me about it if it was happening at school. My big fear is that splitting them up will backfire, they'll still be very shy, and will not enjoy going to school. I wish I could see into the future to know what the right decision would be.

 

Thanks again everyone for your insight into what you've done and has worked for your situations etc. I really enjoy reading about things I hadn't thought of.

Haha to not wanting one to speak Spanish and the other French! that would really give them separate identities!

We have a meeting with their current teachers next week and then also get to meet the new school/teachers etc, so it will be good to hear what they all have to say. Thankfully I don't think they are too competitive to be in the same classroom, and it seems that one isn't overbearing on the other, so I'm hoping the same classroom will work, with the "blessing" from the teachers.