Sleeping... getting worse.

I tend to be long winded, I will try not to make this too long.

For the last week, night sleep is not quiet (i hear them cry out and move around a lot. Especially before 10:30pm and after 3am) For the last 3 nights i have had to go in around 9pm to sooth DS who is hysterical crying.. takes about 30 to 45 minutes during which DD fusses cries but will go back to sleep when he does. (they are normally great night sleepers, i have to go in maybe once 2 weeks)

Naps are deteriorating. getting shorter.. yesterday they barely made 50 min.

History:
The wk of the Oct 15 - 22 my mom came and watched the kids for me during the day. I thought things had gone really well. The got 2-3 naps daily and i was home at night for bed time and they seemed to be sleeping well, although getting up a little early. DD learned to stand up in that week and so mom had to go back in a few times to put her back down. Later figured out she probably missed quite a bit of sleep, but she handles it by being more active so i didn't notice at first.

I gave them a few days and then.. uugg. Not realizing we already had a problem I tried to push their wake up time later (preparing for time change). 10 minutes later to bed each night until they started waking at 4:45. So went back to early bed time (5:30-6pm), but we have had 3 nights of early bed time and as i said.. it is not getting better!!! The last two days i have gone back to naps as soon as they look tired regardless of the clock. Problem is they wake up looking tired!

Is it possible there is something else going on? I know they are teething but it doesn't seem bad right now and i am giving them tylenol at night before bed just in case. Could it be teeth? Ears? they are not messing with thier ears and they are not red. Can they have an ear infection without any signs?
Am i missing something?
Help! I so want my sweet little babies back! They are miserable and I am so afraid we are going the wrong direction!

 

I have no advice as I practically could have written this post myself! My overtired baby got back on track so nicely and has started to deteriorate again! ...And this time his brither is too! Just wanted you to know you are not alone. I'll watch the responses with interest.

 

9 month sleep regression. It's a real pain in the rear end.

You didn't break them. Usually all that's needed is time, patience (hard when you're sleep deprived) and consistency while you wait for them to move past whatever developmental issue is disrupting their sleep. There are so many things that happen physically and developmentally in the first year and, apparently, whatever happens around 9 months (getting ready to crawl/stand/walk/talk) is a big sleep disruptor.

Continue to be consistent with your routine and they will likely outgrow it in, hm, another 1-2 months... sucks, but I don't think I know of any babies that DIDN'T have the worst sleep ever between 9-11 months.

If you have a partner, get him/her to help out at night by taking shifts so you don't become a frazzled wreck.

4 months and 9 months are the two most common "Why won't my babies sleep?" posts I see on parenting threads and among my friends in real life (including my first baby). You will survive. And they will sleep again... I just can't predict exactly when.

 

Hmmm... I've found that during time change, it is always a week or so of disrupted sleep, so don't be so hard on yourself - it will smooth itself out again. Just persevere with the early bedtimes (try a little earlier if you can for a few days) - sometimes it needs a week of early bedtimes.

I've sometimes found that leaving them to cry just for one night (when they are so obviously overtired) means that they don't do it again the next night, out of habit - depends on how comfortable you are in letting them cry?

What I've come to realise now is that there are always multitude of reasons why are they are overtired, naps deteriorating, night wakes - developmental milestones, sleep regressions, teething, just plain old playing up etc etc... To give myself a break, I try not to over analyse why they are not sleeping and just concentrate on trying to fix what I can with what I know - early bedtimes and I do not go in at all whatsoever for night wakes - might seem callous but my experience with these twins of mine has been that, I hinder their attempts to go back to sleep when I go in. They are much more likely to go back to sleep quicker without me than if I were to try to assist them. I am glad that I have done this from when they were 7 months and started to have crib parties (typically when overtired) around 10pm and 2am, because now they do not expect me to go in. In saying that though, I do know the differences in their noises and their cries - if I feel it is a cry of teething pain for eg. then I do go in, give them panadol, a cuddle and then back out again - I don't spend a tremendous amount of time trying to soothe - my babies only get stimulated by my presence. Just food for thought.

PS: re still waking up from naps looking tired, I've read that when they go for naps is more important than how long they sleep in relation to how restorative their naps will be - so perhaps moving back to circadian rhythms instead of when they are tired, will give them the restorative nap they need - just a thought.

 

My babies are the opposite of Tas's babies. They get back to sleep quickly and easily if I go in and help them--and doing it one night doesn't seem to disrupt future nights (i.e., they've been up lot the past week and then last night, without having done anything differently, they slept all the way through). The only time we've had difficulty getting my twin son back to sleep at night was when he was cutting his first tooth--finally figured out after a couple of nights that a bit of ibuprofen and 20 minutes of cuddling while it kicked in got the job done. Mine also don't do early bedtimes--that never helps. It only gets us 4:30 a.m. wake ups! My point being all babies are different and what works for some doesn't always work for others.

I do agree that trying to figure out WHY they are sleeping poorly isn't always helpful--there is so much going on developmentally and with teeth, etc, like I said above. Consistency of routine and waiting it out is usually what works.

Babies are people too and more complex than I think they are given credit for--LOL.

And, seriously, the 9 month sleep regression is real. I swear!

 

I agree with this, absolutely! I have said this in many a post myself. I hope you didn't think that I was being contrary to what you were trying to say in your post - that was not my intention, I promise! I was just putting in my two cents and was speaking to Amy directly because from what I've read in her other posts, her sleep training methods are very similar to mine.

 

Also exhausted by 9 sleep month regression. Honeymoon phase has officially come to an end with mobile babies and interrupted sleeps again. It was peaceful while it lasted.

 

Also exhausted by 9 sleep month regression. Honeymoon phase has officially come to an end with mobile babies and interrupted sleeps again. It was peaceful while it lasted.

 

I empathize with all of you. Nights have been misery for the past month. Sleep regressions stink!

 

thanks ladies!
update: bed time last 2 nights at 5:30 and they slept until 6:00am and woke up happy!!! Still crabby yesterday and naps not great, but DD is less hyper so i think we are going the right direction. for now.

I agree with this. When they are overtired nothing works but to leave them alone! As my SIL says that is his 'leave me the F-- alone cry'. thanks for the reminder. It is so hard for me to do this even when i know it is right...'cus all i want to do is hold them.

Thanks, i can get stressed about it and we would all benefit from me relaxing.
I am trying to put them back on regular nap schedule.. we will see.

HaHa.. i have one of each. Lucky me! DD is completely disturbed by me even entering the room and DS sometimes needs some comforting to go back to sleep! She sleeps (or at least remains laying down, quietly) through his crying but as soon as I enter the room she is one her feet calling to me.
My solution last night, which seemed to work, is to keep my back to her while i hold him. His cry said pain, rather than tired. He let out one big burp and went back to sleep. Why can he not take care of burping himself at 9 months??
Anyway, that was early in the evening and they were peaceful the rest of the night.

I am so grateful for this forum and all the 'been there' advice and the 'there right now' sympathy! The conversations here have without doubt helped me be a better parent! Thank you!

 

Yay for better sleep!

I'm totally laughing at your burping story, Daisies! My son is the same! 7.5 months and STILL can't seem to burp by himself in bed! LOL. That's the prime reason he will wake up about an hour after bedtime, but burping him before he goes to sleep doesn't always help.

I'm glad mine usually get back to sleep easily at night. It makes having to get up a little easier. That said, mine are also the "get super amped up and screamy mad" if left alone babies so I have to get in there quickly or the hollering begins.

Of course, my daughter does think 5 a.m. is a perfectly good wake up time. Both my boys slept until 7:30 this morning but my daughter and I have been up since 5:15. Sigh. She would NOT go back to sleep and she's so active that there is no such thing as snuggling if she's awake. She just wants to get down and MOVE. She's also started pooping at this time, which I think is what really wakes up her but once she's pooped and I change her diaper, then she's UP.

I think if I didn't have forums about baby sleep both the first time and this time, I would be insane worrying I was doing it all wrong. Instead, it's really helped me be more relaxed about it.