Independence?

My girls are almost 5 1/2 and I think they are pretty independent. They pick out their own clothes (that mostly match), get themselves dressed without much intervention, brush their own hair (unless its terribly knotty and then they need help), brush their own teeth (with us checking afterward), and generally can get themselves completely ready each morning. As I was washing their hair the other night, Dh made a comment about how I baby them and they should be able to wash their own hair by now. They are pretty good at washing and rinsing in the shower, but when I give them a bath I feel like I need to do it to get it all rinsed out.

So at what age did your kids become independent in the bath/shower? Washing their own bodies (I have to remind the girls to make sure they get all their parts), and washing/conditioning and rinsing hair? It would definitely be nice to just set it up and have them go to it. They can get themselves out of the bath, dried off, and in PJs without my help (except for drying their hair), so it might be nice to have them do it all... Is this expecting too much from 5+ year olds?

Thanks!

 

It's more than my kids were doing at 5 1/2. Then again they didn't take many showers at that age and I think you're right that it's harder to get hair properly rinsed in the bath. Especially with longer hair. I don't think it's too much to go in just to wash and rinse hair, sounds like they can do the rest themselves.

 

When I had the twins, DS#1 was 4.5 and started doing his own shower. While not perfect, it was one less thing. Also, it happened because he informed me I couldn't come in the bathroom with him anymore so I let him do it on his own. At 6, we introduced shampoo and conditioner and bar soap and showed him what to do. He does the whole shebang by himself.

I have to say, at almost 3, the twins wash themselves with me rinsing.

Can I ask you what will happen if they don't do the job you do?

 

I still have to get in there with my 6yo. He still doesn't like water in his face, so he won't rinse well. I always find it funny that all three of the boys freak if water hits their face in the shower, but all love being under water in the pool.

 

One of the girls has long thick wavy hair, and the has fine, tangly shoulder length hair, so both need shampoo and conditioner (the 2-in-1 stuff doesn't cut it). If they don't rinse all the way I think their hair will be kind of greasy. If they are in the bath and they lay back to rinse, it doesn't get it all out unless I dump water on their heads too. They could do it themselves, but it seems tricky. Its definitely easier when they shower, but some nights they like to play in the bath... I was just wondering at what age I could expect self-care independence.

 

I have one who at age 11, I still have to work on her hair. If she had her way....she just wouldn't bathe....and most definately wouldn't wash her hair. For the most part I either let her wash it her way or have her sister help, but at least once every week or two I make sure I wash and rinse her hair.


At 5 1/2 either I or their older sister assisted with showers. Baths they did on their own. They did a pretty good job with them, and were able to help each other with rinsing etc. At that point they were still comfortable taking a bath together. That did not last too long. One wants more privacy than the other. I was still doing showers for/with them until about age 9.

 

For the most part my girls can do it all by themselves. Sometimes they will ask me to wash their hair...I may, or may not depending how I feel. They still take a bath together, so they will help each other rinsing their hair out. When they shower, I will just check when they think they are finished with their hair just to make sure the shampoo is all out.

 

My girls are 6 1/2 and do everything in the bath except their hair. I think it's a lot to expect to get their hair shampooed and conditioned. I think my oldest was around 7 when she started doing it, but until probably 10 we'd have to inspect and make sure she got all the conditioner out. She'd just miss spots. My boys showered by themselves sometime around 6 or 6 1-2.

 

Thanks everyone! So basically I'm NOT babying my girls (as was suggested by my sweet DH, who knows nothing about hair since he's BALD! ). I will start letting them try to rinse by themselves, but I'm still going to check. Oh and good idea about having them help each other in the bath (they still take baths together- thats whats most fun about the bath!), although I could see this dissolving into a big water fight :laughing:

 

My daughter (11) uses a comb to see if she has all the conditioner out of her hair (she combs her wet hair, and if there is still conditioner in it, it will be on the comb. She then trys to rinse the area better.) She has been showering independantly for 2 years, but I still find once every few months I need to wash her hair near the scalp, as she does not scrub that area that well. I was washing her hair until she was over 8 years old.

With two of them, they might be able to help each other.

T

 

My boys are 6.5 and just started washing and shampooing on their own this summer. The biggest problem we had at the beginning was just getting all of their hair wet and washed. For some reason, they tended to skip the hair by their temple. They're great about washing their bodies. No problems there.

My DD will be 8 in September and just started this summer as well. She has really thick, wavy hair and I really thought it was going to be years before she was able to shampoo and condition on her own. For the first while, I would check her hair after she shampoo'd and again after she rinsed the conditioner. Now I don't even do that. She's doing just fine on her own. Like a PP mentioned, if my DD doesn't get all the conditioner out, her hair is greasy looking and almost sticky. Yuck.

I really had no reason in waiting until now to let them do it on their own. I guess I followed their cues about when they seemed ready/interested in doing it on their own. One of my boys expressed an interested towards the end of the school year, so he's the one that started it all. His brother was quick to follow. It didn't take more than a week or two before big sister decided she could do it on her own if her little brothers were! Sometimes sibling rivalry is good!

One thing I did do, is I bought a cheap mirror that I hung in the shower. That helped the boys get all their hair done, and helped my daughter check to make sure she had all the shampoo out. I'm not sure they use the mirror too much anymore, but it did help towards the beginning.

 

My girls do all of the same, except wash/condition their hair. One of my girls has super thick hair so I'll be washing it for a while I think to make sure it gets good and clean. The other one (bad mommy for a sec...) does a lot of things half-arsed so I just don't think she's ready for the responsibility. :blush: I told them when they turn 6 they'll need to start doing it with me checking up when they're done. I'm pretty sure my nieces were at least 8ish years old when they were left completely on their own to do it. My SIL said it's because they'd come out and be full of bubbles still and then hours later complain their heads itched. :lol:



ETA: Oh wow, I didn't even read the replies before I chimed in. I guess 8 is the popular age. :good:
And NO! You are NOT babying them! I know kids our girls' ages who don't do half of what our kids do!

 

Well, my DS can bathe and shampoo on his own in either the shower or the bathtub, but he has short hair. My DD (age 6.5) can do everything except the shampoo/conditioner. We tried having her go solo on that (at her insistence), but she just can't get all the shampoo/conditioner rinsed out without some help. Her hair isn't very long -- its straight and fine. So, we have her call us in for the "final hair check" prior to wrapping up the shower/bath. We do use the "2 in 1" shampoo/conditioner to make things easier.

So... no -- I do not think you are babying them!

Much peace,

Meg

 

The girls wash their hair and body and I just rinse. Mine cannot be in a tub together unless I want a flooded bathroom!

 

My boys could it all at 5, but they had very short hair, so there was no chance it wouldn't get rinsed. One of my girls decided to get short hair at 8 so she could handle it all herself & she does. My other daughter (they are 9.5) has long, thick hair, and she's also very short, so far from the shower head. She's learning, she's practicing, but she really can't quite get it all rinsed by herself. If she's just taking a quick shower she doesn't need me, but I do help her rinse her hair. We only shampoo 2-3 times a week, so it's not that big of a deal for me to help be sure she's rinsed it well.

 

Wow, I'm impressed with all your girls do at that age!! That's awesome! I think I was the one who babied mine, because they didn't start doing all that until around 7. My mom still washed and rinsed my hair until I was about 9!! But I had waist long hair, so that played a part in it. Heck, my best friend still helps rinse her daughters hair and she is 13!! She has baby fine, long hair that gets tangled really easily though.

I think they DO still need you to wash and rinse their hair and don't feel bad about it. They grow up too quickly and don't "need" you to do things for them, so cherish it and do it as long as they will let you! Kimmy will sometimes take a bath with me in the big tub and she loves for me to wash and rinse her hair, she says it reminds her of when she was little and she loves how we really scrub her hair like at a hair salon!

 

My girls are 7 and have just got good at doing the shampoo and condition thing. I go double check what is going on and will sometimes reach in and scrub but over all they are starting to get the hang of things (same with my 5 year old). It has been a long process! My girls would rather stand in the water and draw pics on the shower door than clean themselves!

 

My daughter will be 6 in a month (*sob*), and we still wash her hair. She also has super thick hair and it tangles horribly if we don't shampoo and condition it. Thankfully we can use the 2n1 most of the time, and then sporadically do a good conditioning on it to help with the tangles. But, like yours she does most everything herself, her hair is just too thick for her to get it rinsed properly.

My oldest son was about 7-8 when he started doing everything himself in the shower. Maybe a little before 7, I think i was pregnant with the twins when he started doing it on his own, because I couldn't help him easily anymore :lol:

 

My girls just started showering on their own at age 6.5. Up till then, they had taken showers after swimming (with lots of help from me) but otherwise took baths. And we had to wash their bodies, rinse their hair, essentially do everything. I think they could have been halfway-competent at it (except maybe for getting the shampoo/conditioner out), but they just had no interest.

I'm not sure what changed, but one day Amy announced that she wanted to shower (in Mommy & Daddy's bathroom, of course) and she wanted to do it all.by.herself. I did stay in the bathroom and I still had to help her rinse. Then Sarah wanted to do it by herself because Amy had done it.

The next time, they both showered totally independently (I stayed in the bathroom). The time after that, they did it completely on their own -- all I did was start the water for them and get it the right temperature. Then I went upstairs to cook dinner! They both emerged naked, damp, and clean.

I'm sure we'll go back and forth for awhile (Amy wanted me to bathe her the other day -- "like a baby"), but at least now we know they can do it.

Amy has really long thick hair (not curly, though) and Sarah's is short. However, Amy is actually better at washing and rinsing. Sarah hates messing with her hair and tends to ignore the sides and front.

 

Both mine have long hair. They can and do both bathe/shower independently, except for the hair. They want to, and sometimes I let them try, but they still leave too much soap/conditioner in and it looks gross. :blush: I'll keep letting them try, but will probably keep doing their hair for a long while.

 

My son is 6 (soon to be 7) and he does it all himself. His hair isn't even a 1/2 inch long though. The only thing I'm worry about is him cleaning his boy part correctly. I try to always remind him when he goes into the shower. My older DD is 5.5 and I wash her hair still. She HATES having her hair washed and if I left it up to her she wouldn't even do it. Her hair is thick and takes forever to rinse.