Am I waiting too long?

The boys will be 3 in less than 20 days and it feels like we are behind and should be trained all ready. I will admit that I am petrified at the mere thought of starting it since it will be 2 against 1 but the boys don't seem all that interested in it either. For a little while, a few months back, River was frequently going in the potty and Alex was always right there cheering him on and then all of the sudden they started to refuse it. We are able to get them to go right before their bath but that's it. On the other hand they are getting very interested in wearing underwear and they want me to put it on them over their diapers which I do at night (is this setting myself up for failure?) but when I talk to them about taking the diaper off and asking them if they will tell Mommy when they have to go and if they will use it they say no. My MIL is constantly asking me about it and suggesting that I just take their diapers off and just let them see what it feels like to have an accident but I'm sooooo scared to do that.

I need help, any suggestions to get them more motivated? I have tried the sticker reward system with charts in the bathroom and the idea of getting some sort of prize for going but it looses all effectiveness within a few days...TIA

 

I waited. My girls were 3y1m and 3y2m and they trained within a few days. Dh and I started talking up the potty shortly before their 3rd birthday and started a sticker page for each time they sat on the potty. They got a little sticker for sitting and a big special sticker if they actually peed. We didn't pressure them though. Eventually they got more into it and once they decided they wanted to be trained, they trained. Good luck!

 

I waited as well. My one DS was 3 years 5 months and pretty much trained himself. He had a speech delay and for months would tell us "I want to flush". We thought he wanted to mess around with the toilet and kept telling him no. After a VERY frustrating day of him asking anyone who would listen if he could flush, I took him home, put him on the toilet and he went. The very next morning, he was eating breakfast, stopped, looked at me and said "I have to go poop". He ran upstairs and went on the toilet!. We never looked back with him.

Now my other DS was closer to 3 years 7 months before he was pee trained. Poop took A LOT longer (a few months).

If we were going out or for bedtime, we'd use pull ups. The rest of the time they wore underwear.

It's honestly not worth the stress if they are not ready.

 

I agree with Leighann. You can always try to train them and if they don't go for it, you can always try another time. I used M&M's as a reward. I can tell you when I trained my two, I tried training them both at the same time. My son was more into it then my DD at first and then he completely lost interest and desire and she started to PT and went through it quickly. He was not ready and we shelved it for a bit and then did the 3 day program and that helped him get over the hump. When he was not interested, no rewards were enticing enough for him to use the potty. I think when we did the 3 day program, he was ready at that point but he needed more of a push then my DD did.
I would talk up the underwear to your boys and the whole potty process. My kids really liked the Potty Power DVD & No More Diapers for Ducky book.

 

This. I'd much rather PT a child in a few days/weeks when they're ready than drag it out over many months because they're not. And being ready is partly physical and partly when they're ready to let it happen. It's something you just can't force. With my 6 kids, I've had kids potty trained (daytime) anywhere from 2 1/2 to 3 1/2. Some of them did it very easily and some seemed to take forever. I wouldn't feel bad about where you're at with yours at all!

 

We just started because mine were interested. But maybe they were interested because I checked out a couple of books from the library and talked it up to them. Try "Time to Pee" - its a good one.

 

Thanks everyone, this makes me feel so much better!

We have the Elmo potty book and a couple of DVDs about it that we try and read/let them watch but it doesn't seem to help that much.

How did you handle life after diapers? I mean, how did they let you know when they needed to use it and did you always go with? How long afterwards did you wait until they could go alone? I'm so nervous about all of it that I joke about leaving them in diapers until they are teenagers...lol

 

We waited until 4, lol. They didn't show any sign that they were ready or even interested before that. They've been trained for 3 weeks now. We did it in 3 steps really... Introduction in April but it didn't go so well so we gave up, second time time was in May, we just switched to underwear and stayed home, it took about a week before DD got it, DS just pooped in his underwear for 3 weeks... I wasn't comfortable letting them go out of the house in underwear though and we had a trip in June so we switched back to diapers. Went back to underwear when we came back and DD has had no accident since, DS just a couple the first week.

We're not doing night. I don't trust them in the bathroom alone so I figure whenever they are ready they can just ask us to take them during the night and we'll think about it then. For now I like my sleep, and we have diapers to use anyway.... Otherwise we're inside a lot and they have potties in the family room that I just clean up just after they go (they can use the toilet but usually don't sadly lol), and when we go out I have a Potette plus and I just make sure to take them to the bathroom if it's been a while (you can just put it over the seat). They're starting to ask if they have to go though.

 

We do pull ups when out but try to take them potty every hour to keep them dry. I am very clear that their Diego pullups are not diapers but underwear and we don't go potty in them. At home I need to put them back in underwear as we stopped with underwear a week ago when they started training. They do wear shorts now though. I set a timer and give them a sticker every hour they are accident free. We go potty when the timer goes off or if they ask in between. I also look for them to hold themselves- its a big indicator in our house.

 

I tried pull ups when we went out at first but they just used them as diapers... I don't think they can really tell the difference and they're more expensive so I bought two packs and that will be it lol

 

Yes, my one son uses them more than my other. But each day they get better at it and the first week I was places that didn't have great bathroom access so those were on me. I figure pullups give me a little independence without having to bring spare shoes. :lol:

I guess we are 8 days in and today Orion was dry all morning including at wake up; Sebastian was not. I don't put them in pullups at home when they are awake and we really talk it up that you need to ask if you need to go potty and that we don't go potty in our pullup.

 

Our house has a toilet that is high up and a sink that is also high up, it is not a kid friendly bathroom (to compare, at my Mom's house they don't need a step stool to use her toilet and sink) My kids have to use a step stool to get on the toilet and wash their hands. Both of mine were and still are very good about letting me know that they have to go and they just go. I would say, within the past 6 months, is when they got comfortable going to the bathroom without me. In public, I do accompany them. They are not comfortable going by themselves at someone else's house, so I will go with them and wait outside the bathroom.
You will find your way that works for you and your boys.

 

We waited until our boys turned 3 as well, which was at the end of May. So during the 2nd weekend in June we tried the 3 day method. B seemed pretty interested in using the potty but C was often times agitated that we made him try and go potty. At that time though we were still getting them to sit and pee, but then they learned to stand on a step stool and pee in the potty and that got them into pottying more. They only wore a pullup for nap time and at night. However, after 3 weeks of very little progress I reluctantly started rewarding them with M&Ms. That really seemed to do the trick with C, who previously didn't care to use the potty. For the past week C has pretty much stayed dry all day long with an occasional accident - YAY! B, on the other hand, has regressed. Ugh. The driving motivator to potty train them was so they could move up tot he 3 year old room at daycare, and their teachers were willing to help potty train during the day. However, I think once B learned they would be switching rooms, he has started having a ton of accidents, which I think is his way to protest and not go. I got so sick of dealing with him peeing in the past this past weekend that I pretty much kept him in pullups all day, whereas C continued to use the potty like a big boy and get M&Ms. As it stands next week C will move up to the 3 year old room, and B will stay behind in the 2 year old room. We have explained this to B several times, but he simply doesn't seem phased that C will be in another class room next week. but I'm hoping when it comes time and C skips off to the big boy room that B will want to start pottying regularly so he can join him.

I don't have many words of wisdom. Although I would highly recommend some vinyl training pants covers. I get the Dappi ones from Amazon, and they work great. I wash them in the washing machine but hang dry them. And even though B might pee in his undies 3 times in a row, often times I can get by with just changing his undies and vinyl cover and still let him wear the same (dry) shorts. And we don't worry about him getting the couches wet. C has been doing so good with pottying that I stopped putting vinyl covers over his undies this weekend.

As far as pooping in the potty goes....aaaargh! Both of the boys REFUSE to sit on the potty to poo. So we tell them if they won't sit on the potty they need to at least tell us when they have to poo so we can put them in a pullup. But neither boys ever does. B always makes a big deal when he tries to poop (grunting, telling us to go away, etc) so we can usually catch him in time and put on a pullup. However C has always been our stealth pooper. And we don't know he has pooped in his undies until the deed is done. The other week C had a huge poop and it was a mess trying to get his undies off to clean him up. The poop ended up smearing on his legs and my hands. I was so upset then! I'm trying to be patient with the pooping, but if he does that too many more times then I might just end up doing what my friend did with her daughter who behaved the same way with pooping in her panties (even though she had been pee trained for months). When her daughter ended up pooping in her panties yet again her mom stripped her naked and plopped her in the shower and rinsed her off in cold water. I'm sure that sounds mean to some, but she said her daughter NEVER pooped in her undies again, LOL.

Anyway, good luck!

 

My son hated bath until recently (thanks to whoever gave us the tip about giving him a washcloth to cover his eyes), so we just put him in the bath the last two times he pooped in his underwear. It seems to work (until today for some reason, guess I spoke too soon earlier).

I still have to wipe their butt though. I'm going to have to try and teach them to do it themselves though because I won't be at school with them to do it... not looking forward to poopy underwear.

 

I wait until they're really ready. It drives Dh's family insane since they pride themselves on training their children at 12-18mos but in reality were potty nags for two years. I wait until they're ready and can tell and go potty themselves. It's a lot less stressful. We don't use pull ups unless we're somewhere like a jump zone or ball pit and sometimes at night. With my DS I would put it on after he fell asleep because otherwise he would just pee without telling is. My kid's were 3.5 and 3yrs. My twin girls seem like they might be able to train but they're not even two yet. Between the new twins coming and the holidays I'll wait until after the new year and reassess then.

 

Definitely wait until they are ready! You're on the right track with the potty videos.

I refused to potty train the girls until I felt they were 100% ready. Potty training 2 is hard enough. They started being pretty well trained naked after 2.5years and would occasionally want to wear undies, but they would pee in them. Four weeks ago (when we returned home from a 6 week vacation in the states), they told me they didn't want to wear pull-ups anymore and they have been trained ever sense. No timers, no flipping out about leaving the house, just trained! They were ready and it was easy.

My sister stayed home for two weeks with her daughter to train her at 2.5 and it was exhausting for her. I refused to do that. They will train when they are ready!

 

Ditto everyone who said wait until they are ready.

I tried 3 times with my oldest son, between the ages of 2.5-3 yrs old. The first time we went about 3 wks, he was still consistently wetting his undies. The second time, within a week both of us were in tears anytime I said "Let's go potty!". The third time, he decided one morning he needed to pee in the potty like daddy, and to wear undies like daddy. Was a piece of cake.

I tried with my oldest daughter around age 2, halfheartedly. I was due with the twins when she was 2.5 and knew I wouldn't have time to train her then. She wasn't ready, so I totally shelved it for a year. I tried again at age 3, not quite ready yet, but within a few months we tried again, I suggested her tinkerbell undies, she said SURE, and that was it. Easy.

I went ahead and waited with the twins. Shortly after they turned 3 (about 3 yrs 2 months or so), I tried. Rylee trained very quickly, within a week she was staying dry all day and telling me when she had to go. Very few accidents. Liam is still a work in progress. He wears undies at home but has several accidents a day (but we're down from leaving puddles all over, now he just barely starts peeing before he runs to the potty). He still wears pullups when we go out and we do take him every.single.place.we.stop!!!! LOL He's completely poop trained though. And now, I make him change his own pull up in the morning, change his wet undies during the day, and get his own pullups out before bed. He's partly lazy, and partly not quite ready. I can tell because he still pees a little bit out several times a day, rather than being able to hold it completely. So part of it is he's just not quite developmentally ready yet. So no stress, no fuss, no anger or tears...we're just taking it day by day. Some days he only has 1-2 accidents. The other day he peed at least 10 times in his undies!

All my kids night trained a couple of months after they day trained. Rylee would probably be fine overnight, she's dry every morning, but I don't want to buy waterproof sheets for our camper this summer. She's going to be overtired and may not wake up during the night. So we'll stick with pullups for the rest of the summer and try her in undies this fall. Liam...well he's soaking wet every morning, again, he's not quite developmentally there, so I don't know when he'll be night trained.

 

Thank you everyone for your advice!! I really appreciate it!