How to put down 2 mo olds for daytime naps?

Hi all, my twins just turned two months. My mom has been living with us which i feel so lucky to have.

I am trying to prepare things for when she is gone and i am doing days solo (DH works).

I tandem BF every session so i feel ive got the feeding down solo. Playing with both is not hard. Im worried about how to get them down for nap. My mom and do a divide and conquer, we each take one twin after a feeding. DD loves to be held and falls asleep on your chest and can sleep for an hour or two sometimes that way. Thats usually how she naps during the day. DS has a harder time falling asleep and almost always requires white noise and a pacifier and soothing. I have been trying to put him in our swing when he is sleepy (after some soothing) and sometimes he falls asleep and sometimes he doesnt. When he doesnt he usually needs to be held/consoled to sleep.

Am i setting myself up for disaster once im solo in the daytime? Should i be doing something more regimented for naps? Swaddling and putting them in their cribs? putting down when drowsy but awake? Obviously when i am solo i cant hold both for their entire nap or soothe like they are getting now.

Just looking for input on how others manage naps during the day with two kids and one adult at 2 mos. Thanks.

 

I always liked swaddling and all my kids were happy to be swaddled (although keep in mind that some babies do not like it) so I would definitely say give that a go, you may find it gives them enough security to not need to be held. Maybe try holding your DD as you normally would then when she is almost asleep (eyelids dropping) quickly swaddle her and lay her down. You could also probably get them both in one crib (especially if they're swaddled) and then you can stand next to them and rub/pat both their tummies at the same time to help soothe them.

Just experiment with a few things and find what works for you. Good luck!

 

First, I'm not sure if it's an option, but we used swings and still do for at least one daytime nap. The other thing I did while home alone at that age (just last month!), was go for a walk for the morning nap and they'd often (but not always) sleep during the stroller ride. It was a sanity saver for me to be outside, getting some exercise, and an easy way to get them to sleep.

Some people (that annoying Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child guy--kinda hate that guy) insist that sleeping while moving isn't restful, but I don't buy it. I think babies evolved on the backs or fronts of their moving mothers and that's why they fall asleep so easily while moving!

If swings or strollering is not an option, the other thing I did is what others have said: I swaddled them, took them up to our room (they are sleeping in cosleepers in our room) which we darkened (black-out curtains on the windows), and would nurse them to sleep and put them down in that familiar nighttime area (cribs would work too--we just aren't using their cribs yet). Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. Sometimes I'd get one down and the other would end up sleeping on me or with me or not at all.

I also had days (and still do) where their naps are staggered because my daughter can't seem to stay awake as long as my son can. It means I don't get a complete "downtime" break, but it's a break because one baby is sleeping while the other is awake so only one to deal with.

You can do it! you will find what works for you and your babies!

I worried so much about sleep with my first and this time, although I've tried to implement a flexible routine earlier, I've been much more in the "whatever works" mode.

I also wanted to add that I had my MIL and my mother with me until the babies were five weeks old so I was in a similar situation to you with having to learn to put them both down on my own when they were 6 weeks old. It was so nice (and still is on weekends when DH is home) to have an extra set of arms.

 

I would also try just putting them down in their night sleeping spot when you see they are tired. Mine were in the swings for naps for a looong time but now they are getting flat spots on their heads so I needed to stop doing that. I loosely stick to the EASY routine, so that I don't have to nurse them to sleep. When I see they are tired (they start getting fussy after being up for 1.5-2 hours) I put them in their crib and give them pacis and pat their backs for a couple of minutes until they settle down, then I walk out of the room while they are still awake. If someone starts fussing I will go back in and soothe them but my goal is for them to be able to fall asleep without me in the room (I'm still paying for this with my older daughter). That being said, they are still only 2 months old, so I would just go with what works until at least 3 months or so.

 

3under2 - how old are your kids? Mine are still on their backs so patting backs at nap isnt an option. I assume yours are older.

 

I would say swaddling and putting them in their cribs with a noise machine. Starting sooner then later is the usually best b/c it creates healthy habits. The longer they are held/rocked when they sleep the harder it will be for them to adjust. I walk the twin for their morning walk, I usually wake between 3.5-4.5 miles and it is usually between 60-80 minutes Then they sleep in their cribs for their afternoon nap and for bedtime. Now that I have been keeping them on a routine for a month and they are now sleeping 12-13 hours a night.

 

They are just about 5 months (4 adjusted) but I've had them on their bellies since they were about 6 weeks old (2 adjusted) and I couldn't function bc of the lack of sleep. I did some research on the risks and made my decision based on that. But it's definitely a 'make your own decision' type of thing, and I know it goes against all the current recommendations.

 

I would definitely swaddle, place in crib with a noise machine/soft music/fan. Another thing I did was a half hour or so before nap, I would speak in a low voice and have things quiet down in the house: tv off or on low volume, music on low volume, lights lows, curtains drawn...just some visual cues to help transition to sleepy time. My two are 4 now and I can tell you that we did not get a daytime nap schedule set down until 6 months. They were great sleepers at night, terrible sleepers during the day. I found for them, doing a 2-3-4 schedule worked best, taking nap 1 after 2 hours awake, nap 2, 3 hours after waking from nap 1 and then usually 4 hours after nap 2 was bedtime.
Good luck!

 

I was on my own with both my babies from 4 weeks and I don't think I moved much from the couch with their two rockers in front of me, for the first couple of weeks lol! Until it became clear that they didn't like sleeping in them! As we have a two storey I basically stayed downstairs all day or upstairs all morning, it was a pretty crazy time until I found my groove as you will when there's no one to see your mistakes (and you in PJs until 2pm or when DH gets home).

Once I realised that we had some pretty fussy babies who did not sleep in the rockers well, I bought a pack and play which I had setup in the lounge room and they slept in that until about 10weeks when I stopped swaddling. I always swaddled them even in the rocker and I swaddled them before I soothed them so that I didn't disturb them once they were settled (I had the kiddopotomus ones which have opening for harness).

I really didn't want to create sleep associations so I only used patting/swing/and stroller for times when they went through the worst of their fussiness.. I always put them down drowsy but awake from the get go but same as pp I have great night time sleepers but not so great nappers. Our daytime naps didn't start to get organised until about 4 months and I personally love HSHHC by Dr Weissbluth for getting me into a routine that worked for us and as our babies had colic, once we moved to an early bedtime they started STTN..

Ditto what Twin Nanny said, experiment and you will find something that works for you, everyone is different. I have vague recollections of lying on my bed with both babies asleep on me and me catching up on snoozes at 11am and Mum walking in and telling me off for leaving the back door unlocked!

PS excellent work on the tandem feeding and getting some practice time on your own!

 

The thing I learned about naps and nighttime sleep with my first and with these two is that associations can be different and every baby is different. For nighttime sleep, I nurse mine, put them down drowsy and they usually put themselves to sleep (unswaddled now as swaddling was a habit I wanted to break sooner this time). For naps, they require more effort, such as motion or being put down already asleep otherwise they won't sleep at all. It doesn't seem to affect how they go down at night because the two are different and at different times during the day (and their brains know that).

As for back sleeping, I pat mine on the tummy lightly to help soothe them once I put them down. They seem to like this. They also just like a semi-firm hand on their tummy as they adjust to being on their backs now that they are unswaddled--it prevents the startle reflex from happening as soon as they are put down and so they can relax on their back and fall asleep.

Sleep associations can suck or they can be positive and they are also very individual (for example, I don't want my kids dependent on pacifiers at night but others don't mind that) and what works for one baby won't work for others. My first son screamed bloody murder from day 1 unless he was nursed to sleep and put down completely asleep. He was a fantastic napper and a crummy night sleeper. My twins have put themselves to sleep about 50% of the time since they were born and they don't scream when put down drowsy but awake. They are much better night sleepers and napping is hit and miss (usually they have one big nap a day of 2-3 hours then 1-2 shorter 20-30 minute ones).

I also always liked the idea of the EASY routine, but I have supply issues and need to nurse very frequently so everyone is happily fed and not screaming in hunger (i.e., waiting 3 hours doesn't produce a bigger feed like it should). It doesn't work for my babies not to be fed before they go to sleep as they won't sleep due to hunger.

 

I wouldn't worry about "bad habits" etc at this age. Until they hit 3-4m you are pretty much in nap survival mode. Do what works best for each baby. With my twins, DD napped a little easier than DS so I would try to get her down first and then if he refused to go down I could always wear him. I always swaddled and I did get good at nestling a baby burrito on each side of my chest and rocking holding both of them. With DD3, the swing was our lifesaver. She napped, swaddled with a pacifier, in the swing until she was about 4 m old and started getting too aware of her surroundings to fall asleep. It was an easy transition to the crib at that point because she was ready for it.

 

I actually also encounter the problem of shorter naps due to hunger, I'm not quite sure what to do about it as I never actually read the EASY book . My main goal with EASY is mostly not to have to nurse them down for a nap and so far it's working, although I might start nursing them a bit right before naps to top them up.

This exactly. Do what works for now (although I would try to find another method besides rocking to sleep, just to make things easier for you) and worry about routines later. Do you have a swing? Those things are the greatest invention ever IMHO

 

You don't have to worry about bad habits yet. What we did was swaddled both of them and rocked them to sleep in their Rock'n Play Sleepers. We used white noise a lot of times. We kept them on a pretty consistent routine of Eat, Activity/Play, Sleep. Pretty much did that over and over again for quite a while!! You don't want them to be awake for more than 2 hours MAX (at a time). At that age, they are probably getting tired after an hour, hour and a half, so make sure to start winding down the activity ahead of time. The key is routine--doesn't have to be an elaborate routine, but doing it consistently so they expect it is important. We switched to cribs at 3 mos and by then they weren't neededing much rocking to go to sleep, but they still couldn't self soothe, so we had to keep giving them their pacifiers. Somewhere between 3-4 mos, they found their thumbs and could self soothe.

 

Thanks for all the replies! Starting with their 2nd nap yesterday we put them down in their cribs and they did well. I swaddled everytime, had white noise and darkened the room-identical to their night environment. They slept 45 min each nap. I would like them to go longer but ill take 45 min for only the first day. Now i need to work on the put down awake but drowsy with them. I do feel a lot better that they are sleeping in their room as a feel i can manage them better solo instead of the sleeping all over the place as we were doing before. And they were easier to put down with swaddles. They are 11 wks today.

 

:woo: That's great! Well done for such a good start. :clapping:
45 minutes is a common point for babies to wake, because that's generally how long their sleep cycle lasts (so they are back to being in very light sleep at 45 mins). You might have some luck if you try going in and soothing them a little, once they're better at putting themselves to sleep you can also try letting them fuss for a few minutes.

 

Twin nanny - i spoke too soon. Today two of the naps were only 20 min which i know is not long enough. For one nap i ended up with both on me so i could know they were gettting a good nap - not sustainable!

Any tips on how to get them to sleep longer without having to pick them up and resoothe ? Like check every x minutes and if they are awake too soon try paci,etc?

 

Honestly, mine napped in swings for 7 months. Everyone was happy. I highly recommend it.

 

I never read the EASY book either but I keep reading about it online in various places and it seems reasonable but just never worked with my low-supply issues. I eventually just decided that my kids will go to sleep with full bellies and it's more important for them to eat and sleep well than to have a strict schedule for the first 6 months or so. I did a flexible schedule with my first son and he started napping great on his own by 6 months.

Every baby is different and it's easy for one person to say "do this or that" but only you know your babies. And I always try to remind myself when I'm stressed, tired and in the thick of it that it won't be long before they don't want to sleep on or with me anymore and just enjoy the snuggles. Yeah, it's harder with twins, much harder, but I still try to remind myself of it.

I view sleep schedules as a work in progress and the schedule eventually falls into place over the course of months rather than days or weeks. But my 2.5 year
old sleeps great now (he was a challenge as an infant) and goes to bed easily and without fussing and still takes a 2-3 hour nap. And I let him nap where ever he'd stay asleep the longest between 0-6 months (and many times even after that but he did eventually get used to the crib after many aborted 20-minute crib naps that ended with him sleeping in my arms). He also coslept part of the night in bed with me until he was almost a year old and he loves his bed and has been sleeping in his own room since he was about a year old. We did a gradual transition with that because he was such a crummy night sleeper.

I also never discount the power of nursing a baby to sleep early on. They're programmed to fall asleep nursing and I use it to my advantage and as they get older we wean off doing that gradually.

I guess I'm reiterating my earlier post to do what works and try not to stress too much about what's right or wrong. My twins nap happily and long in their swings so that's where they nap right now.

 

I can't find the little thumbs up guy, but I like your philosophy!!!

 

Thanks, 3under2. It isn't all sunshine and rainbows and I'm still tired but I figure I can be super stressed and tired or know I can work on things more gradually and give myself a break (physical and mental) when needed, such as not worrying if a nap happens in the car or while holding someone.

 

My mantra was always that it matters THAT they sleep, not WHERE they sleep. Like I said, mine slept in swings for naps until 7 months. It was an easy habit to break. And even if it were hard, a couple days work breaking a habit beats months of fighting with sleep.

 

thanks all. sorry to be a board hog, i think my new mommy anxiety is hitting and I'm over thinking this too much. How much soothing do you have to do at this age to get them to sleep? Do you just swaddle and put them down and let them fall asleep? Mine are nowhere near that! They need something first, which has been rocking. And do you put both down at the same time? I guess soothe one while the other is waiting nearby in a swing/bouncer? Just trying to figure out how to do this solo!

 

I used to just swaddle and put them down as soon as they were drowsy. But I know plenty of people who soothed by rocking for anywhere between 5-10mins until they were drowsy (sleepy eyes, slow blink) until putting them down. I always put mine down together and as they slept in the same crib until they were a few months old, I used to pat and shush them for a little while, this was my soothing I guess. By the time they were in separate cribs (10 weeks I think) they were used to being put down awake and didn't really fuss at all. Just experiment, have all your equipment nearby so you're not going from room to room etc, you'll work it out I promise

 

My older daughter is a little younger than your older one, and my twins are a bit older than yours. Trust me when I say I understand that it's not all sunshine and rainbows !!!

Texgirl, just let it evolve and you will figure it out. Trust yourself . There's so much pressure in today's society to have a 'philosophy' or system for everything that has to do with babies, but every. single. baby. is different and usually if you relax and go with the flow, it will all sort itself out. That being said, there were some 'mistakes' I made with my older daughter that I'm trying not to repeat with my twins, but everybody's 'mistakes' are different and have to do with your personal lifestyle more than anything else. Do what works for you