How am I going to survive all summer?

My twins got out of school the 1st of June but were at a camp all last week. So this is the second day they've really been on summer vacation and I am ready to pull my hair out already. There is just no end to the fighting. When they were in school, at least I got a break! I think the last two days might have been worse than usual because it rained most of the day so we were all stuck inside. I should state that I am not a patient person and never have been!

And I am so tired of repeating the same rules over and over, already! None of them are that complicated; stay out of the baby's face, don't run in the house, leave your brother alone, don't run in the house, clean up your mess. :headbang: I'm just going to start tripping them as they run by.

I have to find some cheap & fun places to go during the day before I lose my mind. Why can't they go to school year round?!??

 

You can take them to the park first thing or last thing during the day. Do you have a (community) pool? Sunscreen and go go go! Keep them outside all day long. I grew up playing outside in the Fl summertime and only came home between lunch and 3 p.m.

 

I wish we had a community pool. I don't even understand why there isn't one! It blows my mind that this is Florida and we live in a very pricey neighborhood and there's no pool. Even in stupid ole Delaware we had pools in our neighborhoods! The base had a pool but apparently it got destroyed during a hurricane and they never rebuilt it.

Anywho, there are a couple splash pads nearby and we do go to that usually in the evenings. And there's the library. But honestly a lot of that stuff is "if you behave" which of course they never do because they can't stop fighting for ten minutes. Plus toting the baby around isn't super convenient. I definitely want to get to the beach more, but I prefer to go in the evenings when the crowds have thinned out. But again, the twins spend all day fighting so I don't want to reward them, etc. etc. Ugh.

When we were kids, my brothers and I weren't even allowed in the house during the day!! We had to stay outside all the time.

 

Make your outings about you, not them. So you're not rewarding them for their behavior. You're going because you want to. Find something else to use for discipline... TV/computer time, their skateboard, or whatever they like to do. Add some extra chores, even. That way you get to go on the outings and they're getting out and expending energy, but it's not used for discipline. I have told my kids, "We're going because this is something I want to do, so you're going to come with me. But when we get home, we'll XYZ (have ice cream, watch a movie, build a lego tower, get out the paints, etc) and whether or not you get to do it, depends on your behavior." Or "We're going to the park, because I want to be there. If you're wanting to play on the playground, you'll need to do what I ask. If you don't, you'll have to sit on the blanket next to me while the other kids play." Then stick to it (that can be the hard part).

Do you have a fenced yard, so they can play outside? Shoo them out for a set amount of time and only let them in to eat & use the bathroom. Could you give them some supplies to build a fort? How about making some hand puppets (could be out of old socks with stuff glued on or out of paper lunch sacks and crayons) and "assigning" them to make up a puppet show for the baby? Maybe have a contest to see who can come up with the best pirate/sports hero/movie villain costume from things found around the house?

I think kids probably need some time to decompress from the last 9 months of having all their time dictated to them. So they just don't know what to do with all this time now that they're "free" so to speak... especially 7 year old boys. So activities that give them some autonomy and don't have everything dictated to them, can be really helpful for harnessing that energy and their creativity.

 

I agree with Dielle completely. When my kids are driving me nuts, I kick them all out onto our back deck. It's got a locked gate so they can't easily get off (they can climb it but they have the fear of ME beaten into them if they do ), and I dig out the bubbles for them, or open the sand/water table, or water guns. Or heck, a bucket of water and sponges and they'll have a blast and wear out their energy.

Today a local moms group met at mcdonald's and let the kids have the run of the playplace for about 2 hrs. We went early and ate lunch, then everyone got there around 2pm and we left just before 4. My kids were exhausted, the twins fell asleep on the car ride home. Everyone has been in a much better mood since they got some of their energy out.

When it's rainy out (like it's been here), I bust out a craft (I keep a fairly stocked craft station), or paints, or playdoh. Keeps them busy for an hour or more in the afternoon. They we rely on movies

 

You guys are way better at this than I am! Do you want to come live with me?? :lol: I think I'm just extra stressed because my husband switched schedules at work and the kids had been cooped up because of rain the past few days. I do send them outside, usually in the morning or evening because of the heat, and usually that keeps them busy for a couple hours.

I definitely need to just get out more! Dielle, I will try that change of perspective on the outings. What's funny is when I do drag them along on things that only I want to do, they whine the whole time in the car and then have a ton of fun.

 

I just had a similar conversation about this with two of my real life friends. All of us said that we were going to be lucky to survive (or more likely the kids were going to be lucky) the summer they way the kids were bickering, fighting etc. I suggested we either trade kids or get together as a group to allow the kids new people to play with and a chance to be with someone other than their siblings. (Bonus being we moms get some grownup conversation!!)



We still have one more day of school so I'll let you know in the next week or so if it works!!!!

 

Mine are driving me crazy too! Mine are 9, 6 and 6. I have one that is an early riser and wants to be entertained from the minute he gets up and I was screamed at at 6:00 this morning. We recently started a reinforcement system. They earn marbles for good behavior and every time I see them following the rules, being kind to one another or going above and beyond they get a marble. They can always earn 3 in the morning and 3 in the evening just for good behavior and doing what is asked of them. Then they can redeem the marbles for things like staying up 10, 20 or 30 minutes, extra books at bedtime, a dollar toy from a bin that I stocked up, special one on one time with Mom or Dad, etc. It seems to be working, but there are times where they make me so mad I just want to take all the marbles away. I am so NOT patient either. The other day I had them sit down and list 10 things they each wanted to do this summer and we compiled a list of places they wanted to visit. I also created a list and put it on the fridge for things they can do when they get bored (although chores always works too!.lol) Things likes sidewalk chalk, painting the deck with paintbrushes and water, window markers, squirt guns, puzles, board games, etc. - things they can do on their own without needing someone else. I also have a list of chores they can do to earn extra marbles or money. Good luck! I think it'll be a long summer for us too.

 

Do what I just did, send them to a family members house who actually thought it was a GREAT idea and kept saying how this was going to be the best summer EVER LMBO!!!!!!! It will be for me !!!!LOL!!! I sent my 13 and 15 yr olds to papa's and put the twins in summer school (who knew they had summer school for pre schoolers? they DO LOL!) My 18 yr old is doing some tutoring and has football camp all day so this summer has been AWESOME LOL!!! Now if I can just get Easton to nap longer LOL!!!!

 

Oh I would love to send them to my in-laws but our families are a 20+ hour drive away. They are supposed to spend some time with their real dad this summer but that's not being planned so who knows.

 

That was where my guys being teenagers came in very handy - I stuck them on a plane and sent them to grandpas LOL!!!

 

Honestly, the reason why no one has a community pool in FL is that so many people have their own pools. You just need to make friends with someone who has a pool. /shrug Even my trailertrashy sister in law has an above ground salt water pool. The local Y might have a pool.

 

So what happens when they lose their marbles? :rofl:

 

I think the others had great advice. But I want to say, they are old enough to understand rules. It doesn't have to be fancy, but sit them down at the table and talk to them about the problem behaviors and have them each suggest rules. Then decide consequences for breaking the rules. I did that with my 7 year old for school and it worked out. It also gave me the ability to be more consistent. Good luck!

 

I thought that too but pools around here aren't that super popular. We are really close to the beach so I guess everyone does that, but I'm more of a pool person. One of our neighbors does have a pool so I should start stalking them. I'm trying to convince my husband to go for one of those crappy trailertrashy ones! :lol: We just can't do anything permanent since we'll be moving again at some point.

I looked into the local Y and I don't think they have a pool or it was too expensive. I'll look again 'cause now I can't remember what it was. Mind like a steel trap, old and rusty.

 

We totally have a walmart trailertrashy one! Course, we live in a double wide too, so it fits! Anyways, it works great, we built our back deck up to it so i can take the kids out the back door to get in/out of it. Love it! Spend most of the summer in it. It's a 12x3, big enough for the kids to splash around in, small enough that my 3 yr old twins can just barely touch the bottom with their floaties on.

 

When ever my girls are not in school I make a rough school like schedule.
They can watch TV from what ever time they wake up until 9. At that time they have breakfast, help with the clean up and straighten up their room. Then they can play with toys (dolls, toy kitchen, playdough, legos) until it's time to get lunch ready (1:00). That time the adult on hand is not available to play with them. If there are neighbor kids around they can also play with the neighbor kids. They must pick up their toys while lunch is being prepared wash their hands and set the table. After lunch they can do a creative project that might need help from an adult, do a large puzzel or play a game all with what ever adult is present. They can not play outside at this time because the sun here is brutal at that time of day. They shower around 5, after 5.30 or 6ish the sun has gone down enough for them to go back outside, we have a nieghborhood playground and this is a good time to do that or ride bikes until it's time go come in for dinner 7:30, bed time is 8:30.

 

No, the pool's not trashy, my SIL is! And she just happens to have a semi new salt water above ground pool with sand instead of a deck, but can't afford toilet paper.

 

The general consensus here was that the first couple of days were rough. Adjusting to the change and decompressing from school. I would say give them some sort of structure. They are used to it and I know we had a schedule way before they started school. Keep meals/snacks roughly the same time. Maybe have a time of the day, after playing outside they come in and do a craft. You can search boys crafts on line or pintrist. They can us tp rolls to make race cars or if you are ok with messy make playdoh and flubber. Check out a book of experiments for boys you can choose one or two to do a day. They can make turtles out of paint/markers and paper plates. We put up a two man tent in the back yard today and they spend much of the day playing games and reading comics in the tent. Have them help with chores around the house. Tell them you all have chores to do before you can go to the beach and play.