HELP they seem to be dropping their day sleep!

Excuse me while I get up yet again and 'discuss' them thumping around in their beds...................

Argggggg When I went in, T1 had pulled her mattress onto the floor yet again, had then slipped out of her sleeping bag, climbed out of her crib, fetched her and her sister's pacifiers from where I'd 'confiscated' them then proceeded to pick up some books off the floor and share them with T2 who hadn't managed to climb out. :headbang: :headbang:
Part of me does realise that at least she was looking out for her sister which is kinda cute, but they are only 26 months and this is not the first time. In fact T1's favourite game of late is "Mattress Lifting", along with "Easter Bunny" (jumping up and down in their cribs) and "Housemaid" (stripping their cribs of all sheets blankets and pillows etc and dumping all on the floor). :babyflips:

This had been going on for weeks but up until a week ago, they would eventually give up and go to sleep. NOW THEY DONT! I am absolutely devestated at thought of losing the day sleep. In the organised chaos that is my life, it is the only time that I get not completely dominated by someone elses needs. Yes, I usually do housework, & have lunch & maybe use the computer for book work or browse, but it is just me and my thoughts - calm.

Oh yeah, on an unselfish note, I feel that they still need that sleep. They don't go to bed much earlier at night to make up for it, and have been waking early in the morning. Not cool! They are so demanding and have been whinging lately, and I can't help but think that the less sleep is partly to blame................

I've just got them out and given up for today. It's been 1 1/2 hrs and they had EVERYTHING on the floor, not a yawn in sight. Sigh. Such a loooooong time till 6:30 now :cry: :cry: :cry:

We've always had a good bedtime routine. Nothings really changed. I have been making them stay in their cribs even if they don't sleep for an hour or so, just so I can quickly do the basic house work and so they have some supposedly quiet time out. I'm all out of ideas and it's doing my head in.

Am i being unresonable? At what age have other's twins dropped that day sleep? Ideas, suggestions, anything please!!! :help: :help: :help: :help:

 

How did T1 pull her mattress on the floor if she was still in the crib? I know many kids crawl out of their cribs, but this if the first time I've hard of a young toddler also pulling their mattress out. Only asking because I'm curious, LOL.

6:30pm seems like a really early bedtime to me for 2 year olds.

Sadly I don't have much help in this department. Our boys just turned 3 and they are still in their cribs (thanks to putting the mattresses directly on the floor). They still nap 1-1.5 hours every day, but are usually asleep by 8:30pm. Sometimes they take a really long time to fall asleep at naptime or bed time, so I know that in the near future we are going to have to cut back on nap time (if not totally do away with it). But I'm not willing to budge on their bedtime (as in make it later). We leave their room around 8:05pm nightly, and they are usually quiet by 8:30pm (occasionally not until 9pm).

 

6:30 definitely doesn't seem like an early bedtime for 2 year-olds who didn't take a nap!

My girls will be 3 in August and still take a 2-3 hour nap. For awhile, I thought they were ending naps, but we just adjusted our schedule a little and now they wake up a little earlier. This lets them not only take a nap better, but they go down much easier at night. They used to sleep from 8pm-8am and now its 8pm-6am and a 2-3 hour nap. While the amount of sleep may be close, I prefer the better mood that comes with part of that sleep occurring in the middle of the day and the break it gives me

 

I envy you!!
In answer to the mattress question, it sure is talented. T1 grabs the corner of the mattress and bends it towards her, then she must get into that space once lifted and push/pull it up and over the edge and onto the floor. They are foam not innerspring so maybe thats one option?! Don't really want to buy 2 new mattresses though.

I say 6:30 for bedtinme, but that's on a good day. They have been waking at 5-6 am, so to me, 5am right through till 6:30pm is a long stretch for a 2 year old with no sleep.

I remember my miss 6 dropping her day sleep when she was about 18 months so I had such high hopes for these 2. I feel that because theres 2 of them, that this makes it much harder.

 

Exactly!

But.. i have tried adjusting our routine by getting them down a bit earlier and for a while that seemed to help. I'm really, really really hoping that this is just a stage and the end of the day sleep for good.
While they may go down at night a little easier, i much prefer tha happier moods when they have a day sleep and the break.

 

Has anyone tried seperating their twins at sleep time?

Not sure I'd actually do it even if I could work out the logistics in my small house, but have wondered if that would be a workable option.
Or i wonder if pushing the cribs to oposite sides of the room so theres a distance of maybe 6 ft would work? Maybe a screen between as well?!
I trying to think of anything that might help lol.

 

I would try moving their bedtime back a little bit, a little bit later. They'll probably still wake up around the same time in the morning, and then be sleepy enough to take a nap. Do it little by little, 10-15 minute increments every few days to help them get adjusted to it. 6:30 just seems like an awfully early bedtime, especially in the summer time when it's light out much later.

Also, do you have their room kept dark with room darkening curtains or something over the windows? Is the house kinda cool? Do you have a white noise machine, fan, or lullabies playing? All those things help contribute to better sleeping, nighttime but also during the day

All my kids gave up naps around age 2.5 yrs. My twins are a little over 3 and sleep 11-12 hrs at night, and they've been doing this since they gave up naps last summer at age 2.5.

 

Hi, thanks for the tips.
We are in winter here, and so it's dark before 6pm. In the summer, they're usually in bed by maybe 7-7:30. Also, we have 2 other children, so the routine that we have has to work for them as well. It actually helps as they know that when the other 2 do the bedtime thing, so do they. I did consider making their bedtime a little later, but I just don't know if that'd work.

Their room has always been dark. We have different playlists of music on the ipod ranging from classical, japanese zen garden music & Elton John remixed with soft tones. I use fans and/or heaters to provide background noise. Up until this point all that has been a godsend for establishing a routine from day dot.

Twin 1 has always been the better day sleeper, with Twin 2 lucky to have 1 1/2 hrs. The reverse happened at night. Twin 1 would wake 2-3 times with Twin 2 mostly sleeping through.

I'm dreading this no sleep thing. I was achieving little as it was, barely getting basic house work done. I do love my little cherubs but I'm so glad I can talk to others who really understand twin issues.

 

I agree.

We have been going through phases of one twin refusing to nap every few months since shortly before their 2nd birthday. I always stuck to the routine and within a few days they were both napping again. I would tray staying with them to settle them down - I know you have other children and lots to get done, but to me it has alawys been worth the time investment to preserve our naps.

If things get too bad, I do separate them for naptime. The peaceful tired one sleeps on our big bed and the "wilder" one goes to the nursery, so I will at least only be dealing with one overtired child for the rest of the day; it never seems to help to get the wound up one to sleep though. I have also let the non-napping child get up and go downstairs with me, provided he or she plays quietly and lets me get on with the chores and have a mug of tea, often some quiet play time looking at books or listening to music or an audio book results in a more peaceful afternoon than an hour of fighting sleep. I really worked on this idea of quiet time with them individually and it works quite well, I can even sit down and read a bit myself.

 

We lost naps not long after they turned two. Similar situation except I got so stressed fighting it that I gave up. It was oddly liberating, although I did miss naps. We were also an an early bedtime, so I don't think 6:30 sounds so early.

You could try separating them or moving bedtime later.

 

It does sound like the less sleep may be affecting their day time behavior. That's still an issue for me at 4, when my son doesn't get enough sleep. So I'd stick with the early bed time. I'd usually figure a 12 hour day is long enough for them, but if they're getting up at 5 that's tough, because that would be a really early bed time! Maybe you can work on one at a time? Put one to bed a half hour early, and get them settled and hopefully asleep before you bring the other one in? Maybe if one wakes up earlier in the morning, you can get that one out of their before they wake their sibling? I think whatever outlandish tactics you have to do now to get them to sleep won't be forever. They just need to get caught up on their sleep so they're not crazy overtired. Then you can slowly go back to a schedule that works better for you.

As far as losing out on day time quiet for yourself, I still always did quiet time with my kids. They were in separate rooms, so it was probably easier, but they had to stay in their room and I'd give them some "quiet" toys to play with - blocks, books, trios, and told them they had to stay in their room and play quietly until their clock turned green (stop light clock). My kids were closer to three, so I'm sure this was a little easier than with 26 month olds. But I had different rules as time went on for the different phases they were in - sometimes they had to stay in bed with their books (because I knew they'd fall asleep eventually if they were relaxed and in bed), sometimes I'd let them play and do what they wanted separately, sometimes I'd give them 20 minutes alone and then I told them if they were good they could play in one room together (quietly). I did it for a break in the day for me and for them, on days when I knew they really needed sleep (the stay in bed rules applied those days), on days I really felt they needed time away from each other (my son is so dependent on my daughter and rarely plays by himself, so this was practice for him too). So maybe you can eventually get yourself into a routine where you can still give yourself a break during the day. Even if they share a room, maybe you can still find two separate places for quiet time.

 

I have done this every now and then in the past, trying to put one down first and it kinda worked. Now though, I'm not too sure. The girls are at a stage where they are both really, really independent ie: Me do it, MINE etc, but also really having to have or do exactlywhat the other is doing. Definately worth a try though again - Thanks!

I get what you mean about it being liberating. Today I am trying to realise that I'm possibly fighting a losing battle and trying to let go of some of that stress. Not sure I'm completely ready to give up yet though. I can be stubborn too lol.

I need to get a kiddy clock! Now that I'm teaching them colors etc, it might be good to incorporate that into the bedtime routine with a clock.
With my other two singletons, as they got older (and even now) I have a 'quiet time' rule. They have to do something quiet like reading, drawing or watching a dvd after lunch. My eldest is allowed to play DS if he's been good. I think that it's good even for older kids to have a bit of wind down time.
With the twins, even if they don't actually go to sleep, I leave them in their cribs for a hr or so, just for both of us to have a break. I think I'll see where this no-sleep thing goes over the next week or so. If it looks like it's gone for good, I might look at getting a couple of kids fold out foam chairs and make them lie down and watch a quiet dvd for an hour. I used to do this with miss6 and it gave us both a break and she got to know that this time was for being still and quiet.

Thanks for the ongoing ideas everyone! Its good to try and work this out with others who have BTDT and who actually have twins and have some real idea of what it's like!!

 

UPDATE:
Today I managed to get them to have a sleep. It took nearly an hour for them to go down but they slept! T2 had her usual 1hr 1/2 and T1 would've slept longer if the 2 oldest didn't hadn't come home from school.

I ended up tying the mattress down temporarily to stop T1 lifting it out of bed. Will try and do better tomorrow I think.

I still don't feel hopeful though, getting them to sleep shouldn't be this hard.

Remains to be seen as to whether the sleep makes it worse to get them down at night or better. Fingers crossed.

PS. Has anyone read "Go the F*@# to sleep" ? It's written and illistrated to look like achildrens picture book, but the beautiful poetic passages usually contain to the above line. I had heard about this book a couple of years ago and it crossed my mind just recently since we've been having dramas getting the girls to have sleep. So i came accross a link to it today and was able to browse a couple of the pages. HILARIOUS!!! It made me laugh out loud. Please don't judge! Part of my parenting style is conservative but I think that anything that brings a smile to your face in trying times is a good thing.

 

Mine fight the sleep every once in a while and I think they are done with naps. Actually when the baby was about 1.5 months old they didn't nap. But I got them back on track again- they'd been waking up earlier since it's summer and brighter earlier. So I started them napping at 12:30 again instead of 1pm. I also had to transition them to toddler beds as they broke their crib tents and were climbing out. After we got them reading in bed they are sleeping 2.5-3.5 hours a day again. When I switched them I started an 11:45a lunch, then 1 story in Mommy's bed, apiece, then nap. I tried to make sure they wound down before I laid them down and it's helping.

 

We separated for sleep at 23 months and moved them back together at 2 years and nearly 5 months. It was a necessary step to re-establish a good sleep routine. So if you do have to separate, remember it may not need to be forever! That was a fear of mine. I didn't want them to be in different rooms forever!

ALSO, I love "Go the F&%$ to sleep" book. We have it in our guest bathroom and everyone seems to comment on it. If you have a toddler, you need to read that book

 

Well they are in their cribs now and it has been approx. an hour and still not asleep. ARGGGGGGG :headbang: :headbang: :headbang:

I knew I got my hopes up for nothing yesterday! They had a sleep yesterday and I was worried they wouldn't go to sleep or sleep well at night but they were actually better as they were not over tired.

Our house is quite small and I just don't know what to do. I don't know whether to try seperating them as pp have suggested, putting them into toddler beds, moving their cribs into dd6's room. I don't really want to seperate them as I want to encourage their special bond. :friends: If I put them into toddler beds, I lose any idea of control. :crazy: If I move them into dd6's room (which has to happen eventually anyway), dd6 will have to adjust and the move may actually make them worse as thats the room that all the toys and books are in. :silly: :silly:

The only thing I do know is that I only want to do one 'big' thing at a time so that it's not too much change all at once. They also still have their pacifiers at sleep time and I'm wanting to get rid of them soon too, but not sure in which order to do everything.

 

Okay, so another update.

Over the past week, day sleeps have been hit and miss. I had 2 successful days last week, then a few days with no sleeps, then today........... they are asleep (shhhhh lol)

I'm not really sure what the difference is between thoses days :unknw: , but for the past few days and especially today, I've been putting T1 in her crib first about 20 mins ahead of T2. T1 is the one who has generally been a better day sleeper and since she's been on her own for the first bit, seems to settle down a bit quicker as she hasn't got her sister to show off for. :slap:

Heres hoping this works for good!

 

It might be a phase. We had a phase around that age too when they refused to nap - we had to adjust their nap time and push it back one hour, then naps went fine again. We only stopped naps a couple months after 3, because we had pushed back naps so much that they went to bed at 9.30pm.