When to worry about talking

I did a quick search on this, and I found a few posts where folks said their twins didn't start talking until 2-3 years old, and are fine. I'm wondering: are there any red flags that would tell me that it's something other than just a late talker? Anything I should be looking for?

I've got B/G twins who will be 18 months old on June 16 (they were almost exactly one month premature). Our little girl has about five words she uses reliably -- dinner, hi, by, okay, yeah, and, occasionally, dog. She can point to her body parts, and can point to objects you ask her to in a book. She understands everything we ask her to do -- let's go to the kitchen, it's time for bath, take off your shirt, etc. I am not too concerned for her although all the milestone lists say that she should have a bigger vocabulary at this point...but she's so clearly understanding everything.

Our son does not say a single English word -- he babbles A LOT, and has a lot to say, it just doesn't mean anything. He can point to his nose and, on a good day, his head. He doesn't really understand simple commands as much as he just follows what our daughter says when we give directions.

Part of the problem is that comparing the two of them makes my son seem even farther behind. He was behind Emme in all developmental milestones -- rolled over later, held up his head later, crawled later, walked later, etc. Any advice on whether just to wait it out or seek EI help? The pediatrician said that if he wasn't saying at least some words by the next appt., which will be June 20th, she would recommend an evaluation. We've gone the EI route before when he wasn't hitting his rolling, etc., milestones, and he had a few PT appts., but, frankly, by the time we had jumped through the red tape, he was about where he needed to be...would like to avoid the hassle if it's just a case of his usual slower development.

Any tips?

 

Your DD sounds about right and yes your DS sounds "behind" but it so hard to judge bc the just explode. I had a horrible time comparing Hannah to my twins. The twins were saying cup, mama, dada, doggy, when they turned 1, by 18 months saying 2 words and by 2 saying sentences. When Hannah was 18 months she said mommy, daddy, laney (our dog), cup, and a handful of other words. In just the past month she has exploded and when I picked them up from daycare the other day said "I want piece of gum. I want open it."
So, while the EI might be a good start I wouldn't be aggressive about any therapies until after they turn 2. Even closer to 2.5. Try to separate them when you can to get him to learn the commands and such. And boys are so different from girls, my boys didn't know their body parts until closer to 18-20 months, my DD knew almost everything by 1!

 

I had the same issues with my boys. I had them evaluated by EI at 18 months. Like you said, I knew it would take forever to get through the red tape and I wanted to get started as soon as possible. Both of mine qualified for receptive and expressive communication delays. I know it's very different in each state but we were able to get speech therapy started in our home after a three month waiting list. Part of what was great about getting the speech therapy at such a young age was them being able to show you techniques to use at home to bring out that language, which was very helpful. Then when August came around, they were able to start in an EI preschool classroom at 23 months, which was 4 half days a week.

They are 32 months now and are all caught up on their receptive language, but continue to be quite a bit behind in their expressive language. They have made great progress though. They are saying a lot of words, imitating almost everything, and one is beginning to put small phrases together a bit. When fall comes around, they will be going to preschool again through the local school district, and they receive private speech therapy as well (through funding we were able to get through EI).

Based on my own experience, I would recommend going ahead and getting them evaluated through EI if you suspect any delay. I feel there really is no downside. At best they will just tell you everything is fine and you will have peace of mind. But if they do need services, I think it's better to get started earlier rather than later, being you never know how long you will be waiting to get evaluated, then get services etc. I'm so glad we did it when we did because I know they boys wouldn't have made all the progress they have without it. It does seem some kids just catch up on their own. We just figured if they did that, we would just discontinue services, and if they didn't we would be getting what we needed rather than being on a waitlist. (At least I knew we would have a wait here, not sure about where you are).

Good luck in whatever you decide!

 

Thanks, you guys -- all very good insight and advice. I appreciate your time!

 

at 18 months my girls were hardly talking...now I can't get them to shut up I was super worried, but my SIL (who was a pediatric nurse) kept reassuring me they were fine. I started sign language with them to encourage them to talk and it was amazing how much it helped them. We would sign the word and say the word as we signed. Their language just took off when I started it.

 

My 15 yr old did not say one single word until he was 2.5. No mama no dada nothing!! I put him in speech therapy at 2. Once he started he has not shut up since.

 

Rachel, I have a friend that said the same thing about sign language. We've been thinking we would give it a try. Thanks for the advice.

Heather, do you think it was the speech therapy that pushed him towards talking, or did you get the idea that he was just ready to talk at that point? Or could you tell?

 

I have boy girl twins also, they are 21 months old. I noticed the same thing, Vanessa seems to understand more than Max and she is more patient to look through a whole book and point at everything. Max is pointing 2-3 things, then he takes off to climb on something. I think it's also related to their personality, but of course, we can't help but compare them.

By 18 months my kids were saying 3-5 words, but now at 21 months, Max has 25 words, and Vanessa - about 35 words. I made a separate word doc with their words for each of them, so when I hear a new word, I type it in there. Their pediatrician wasn't concerned at all at their 18 months appointment, they seemed fine to him. We are raising them bilingual so I was expecting some speech delay because of that. Plus, my parents are telling me I didn't say ANY words until I turned 2, and then I started to talk in long sentences... so that's the reason I am not too woried about them. They both seem to understand a lot - like Bring me your shoes, bring the doll, bring the car, bring the truck etc. I did notice after they turned 18 months that they understand more and more week by week.

 

I don't have any real advice but what did jump out at me was that it sounds like your son could be relying on your daughter and just following her lead to 'understand' what's going on instead of trying to figure things out himself. What does your son do when they are separated?

 

Kids develop on their own paces. So dont worry. Yeah my kids didn't talk much at all. Suddenly they started talking like crazy. Sometimes we even asked them what they just said because we didn't believe they could say it. They pick up words and sentences very fast.

My kids were 2 months premature. And for speech, they hit their milestone on time if I used adjusted age. So just give him sometimes. About their pedis opinion, just me different pedies have different opinions.

Also, do your kids go I daycare? My kids started talking so much since they went to daycare. I think they just have to talk at school to merge in. At home they don't feel the need to talk much.

You also can take them out see things: flowers, animals,.. And encourage them to talk more. Kids will talk more when they are excited and happy.

Good luck and be patient!

 

Thanks, you guys! Miriam, I think you've hit on one of our issues -- we're not doing that good a job of separating them for any alone time. My husband and I are trying to do better about that so that he can gain some independence.

Thanks again for all of your input, moms. I really appreciate your collective wisdom.

 

At my 12 month visit their pediatrician asked me if they were talking, I said no just their baby talk all day. She said that really corcerned her and they should be saying mama and two other words by now. She told me if they weren't saying mama and 3 other words by 15 months they'd need a speech therapist. I say I need a new pediatrician.

 

I say the same thing like you also, you need a new pediatrician . We are lucky our pediatrician is very relaxed and he didn't seem concerned that at 18 months my kids were only saying a few words. Now at 21 months they say a lot more and they understand a lot more and you can notice progress each week. I really wouldn't stress about it if I were you.

 

We went through EI with two of ours for speech and we had one more that was just a later talker. Honestly, at their age I wouldn't worry about it. The only thing that would entice me to deal with EI at that age again is that here in Texas EI moves to the school system at age 3 and the red tape getting them started then is even worse. So if your state is like that I would start the process before they turn three just to make it easier.

My late talker with no EI started talking after age 2 and I mean on his 2nd birthday he had maybe 5 words. Once he started he was good to go. The 2 that we did EI for had an obvious vocabulary but clearly had trouble with pronunciation.

It's hard to remember how my kids were with comprehension at that age but I can tell you that Ev is 16 months and has mama and dada as her only words. She can wave when you ask her too but doesn't know any body parts. She'll go get a diaper if I ask and understand when I tell her it's bathtime, but that's about all I've noticed as far as understanding our conversation.

Don't worry.

 

its hard not to compare...

Gene (my first) was advanced... i think it was because i had so much more time to spend one-on-one with him teaching him things. or maybe that doesnt matter at all.
At 16 months he had about 6 words, 18 months he could put two words together and by age two he was speaking in sentences!

the boys lived in another word (of mischief, i think) and had no use for words. at 2 they each had about 10 words and half of them were animal sounds ('meow' or 'moo'). They are fine now, speaking as they should for their age.

everyone is different.

 

My boys are 4 1/2. They were evaluated at 16 months for speech and each had a 50% delay in both expressive and receptive speech. One received speech one a week for 50 minutes and the other 50 minutes twice a week.

One or both received other services through EI (developmental,OT & PT) so getting an eval for speech was fairly easy.

At 3 they qualified for speech through the school district. They were determined to be "at risk" and started preschool on their 3rd birthday, 4 days a week.

My first born twin always had better speech(except for articulation because of an overbite from thumb sucking) while his brother took awhile longer. Even at his yearly meeting with the school just before they turned 4, he was still using babble every now and then.

FF to this summer. That boy will not stop talking! I'm amazed how many new words he is using on a daily basis.

I do think having them in speech therapy at such an early age helped.

They

 

It isn't a big deal to have them evaluated via EI and it will give you peace of mind. Plus language really is key to everything. Kids with a speech delay may never catch up. Sure they may talk more and talk a lot but their vocabulary may never really catch up. It is important that kids are not just chalked up as "late talker" and that they get an actual evaluation. They may be just fine and may truly be a late talker but getting evaluated doesn't hurt.

My two nephews had severe delays (1 did not talk until he was 3). He started speech at 18 months. He is now studying engineering on an academic schlarship. He would not be were he is today if his mother had decided to wait and see. One of my boys spent 5 months in speech started at 18 months corrected (20 actual). He caught up and passed peers within 5 months. Maybe he was truly just a late talker who knows but I definitely do not regret calling and having him evaluated.

 

Actually speech delay isn't related to problems with vocabulary in later life at all, says my speech pathologist sister. Language delay correlates with vocabulary issues, but those are in turned connected with learning issues. Speech delays are purely issues with the formation of the words, not with the processing or understanding of them.