using a babysitter for the first time!

So DH and I have agreed It's time we start having date night once a month, so we need to have a babysitter. Well, I'm scared to death, probably irrationally so, but still terrified!

We have found a 16 hr old girl who is the daughter of one of ky husbands friends. She seems like a really good kid, has 2 jobs, does well in school etc...she has 3 younger siblings that she has had a big part taking care of.

We are going to use her this Saturday for the first time while we go out to the pastures to build a barn (that statement totally sounds code for something naughty Heehee). We figure it will be a good chance for the boys to get more familiar with her, ok, really for ME to get more comfortable with her...lol!

So help me, is there anything to look out for, any rules im not thinking of (no boys, booze, smoking or leaving our house...)?

Words of advice to help me with my fears!!?????

Thanks!
Rebecca

 

We have had a lot of part-time sitters/nannies (they graduate from school, change classes, etc.) to cover the time I go to work (2nd shift) and my husband (1st shift) gets home so about 3-4 hours. One thing we did was to meet with the potential nanny/sitter before I needed one and had the kids around to get a feel for how she and the kids were together. You can't totally tell how they'll be when they're gone, but I found it more reassuring, because I felt more relaxed if they clicked. If my gut told me something was off, I didn't have to leave my kids with the person that same day.

I was scared at first, too, but preparation made it better. Make it clear what you expect her to do - clean up, wash the kids' dishes, if you want her to feed them and what foods they're allowed to have. If certain areas of the house or yard are off-limits. If you're expecting her to discipline, like if you use timeouts, are you expecting her to do the same? Are the kids allowed to watch tv and how much when you're gone. We had a sitter who repeatedly let them watch 2 movies while I was gone, and I was only gone for 4 hours per day! So that was about the most disappointing sitter we had.. but she was a total pushover. If they were to have a minor injury (like a scraped knee) and if you want her to contact you for those types of things and how reach your husband or you. What to do in case of an emergency.

Since you're going to be on your property, would you want to drop in for something you may have "forgotten"? That was one thing we found to be reassuring is if my husband comes home early, then we can see what's going on. Usually, nothing was out of whack, which is a good track record, for the amount of people we have had over the past few years watch our girls.

I do keep things like checkbooks, money, any prescription medication and that sort of thing out of sight, more for peace of mind than anything else, because like I said, we've not had an issue with those sorts of issues.

When my husband gets home, he asks the sitter what the day was like and asked them what they did, how well they ate, etc etc.

The most helpful thing for me was to remind myself not to assume anything.

Those are just the things that worked for us. Good luck!

 

Okay, if you have to mention no booze or no smoking, she may not be the babysitter for you

Being a teenager, I think I would concentrate on no texting and no extended phone calls while with the boys. If you want her to do some things around the house, make a list so she knows exactly what needs to be done while you are gone. Make a complete list of everything, from what to do if they have a meltdown, to phone numbers, to what kinds of snacks they can and can't have, bedtimes, naptimes, etc. They know nothing about your routine, so the more you can write down for her the better...however, don't overwhelm her. I think having her over like you are doing is an excellent idea.

 

Wow! I can't imagine going as long as you have without a sitter! We started having one for our kids when the twins were a year old. I'm sure some of that is because I work nights and weekends and DH who is a SAHD would have imploded if I didn't let him go to his knights of Columbus meetings, etc.

That being said, good for you for taking the plunge! We live in a small town and have always used girls we found through word of mouth. I have to admit we haven't done half of what these ladies did! We give them instructions on feeding and naps/bedtime and that's pretty much it. I figure that it's ok for them to get away with a little bit with a babysitter since its not a regular thing, so I've never given them instructions on tv, etc. I care about my kids safety, not whether they watched too much nick jr! I keep a paper on the fridge with all the important numbers.

The other thing I do is keep in contact with them throughout the time I'm gone. All our sitters use text as their primary form of contact so I text every so often to ask how things are going. The first time we use a new sitter it is for a short stint (like a 2 hr meeting) so they can get used to our kids. Maybe because they've been left with a number of different people (2 different teenage sitters, grandparents, godparents, friends, etc) we've never felt like we need to help them adjust to the new person. They just go with the flow!

 

We did it! It went really well. The first time we had her come over while we put up a barn and this past Saturday we actually had date night. She came over with a box of arts and crafts! The boys seemed to really like her! Another milestone reached ! Haha!
The idea of texting was great! I couldn't be happier, I didn't think we would have been able to afford some getaway time!
Thanks again for your support!