Settle a difference of opinion

DH and I have different opinions on the following scenario so we'd like to hear yours.

Background: DS was "opting out" of work because he would chat/goof off and then when there were 5 mins left, he would decide that was not enough time to do the quality job he needed to do so he would opt out of the assignment. To fix this, we gave him a timer. When the assignment start, the teacher tells him how much time he gets (it's the same amount she gives the whole class), he sets his timer and uses it to be responsible for time management and she does not have to nag him. If he doesn't do the work, he has to bring it home to finish which means no play time and no tv time that night. There are increasing consequences if the frequency increases. So far, he's only brought work home twice. Yesterday was one of those days.

Yesterday, he got work sent home. He had goofed off but then finished the work in the last 5 minutes. She sent it home because (quoting from her note) "he could do better".

So DH and I disagree on whether or not this was him opting out. So we disagree on whether it should have been sent home or since he had finished the work, she should have taken it and given him the grade he deserved for doing poor work.

Opinions?

 

The logical consequence to me is just to grade him on his poor work. He did get it done and turn it in so sending it home to redo doesn't make sense, IMO, unless that's what she does for everyone.

 

I think he should just get the poor grade. It's a natural consequence for doing his work in 5 minutes.

 

Are his answers correct but his handwriting horrible? I could see sending it home to be redone if that was the case. If it is just wrong, I would make him take the bad grade for doing hasty work.

 

this!!

 

Oh the assignment was "write 4 sentences about your favorite animal." His handwriting is always horrible, LOL. In this case, I think it was a combo handwriting/short sentences that she didn't approve of.

Instead of writing "some snakes eat fish", he wrote "snakes eat fish"

 

I actually agree with her for sending it home. Especially since she knows the consequence for him bringing work home is loss of play time to do it correctly. It sounds like he doesn't care about the grades, so just giving him a poor grade is going to mean much. By not sending it home, he is learning, that if he doesn't care what his grades are, and just wants to get it done, he can rush through at the end and turn something in "to get it over with". To me, sending it home, is similar to the idea of a child losing time from recess for fooling around in class (I have done this with a class that won't settle down--they loose 1 minute of recess for every minute of time I have to wait on them). Another thing you may want to try in school, is to create a reward for him completing his work in a correct and timely manner, of some computer time.

 

His rewards are that he gets to go with the guidance counselor along with all of the classroom rewards (treasure box, homework passes etc). I hadn't thought of that perspective but since she won't take away recess (I have asked), it makes sense. For him, it's not about the grades but the effort. He doesn't seem to want to put in the effort unless it is on his terms. We are working on him.

 

And this is why I agree with her sending it home. If she accepts the poor effort, without making him take the time to re-do it, he is in effect rewarded for his poor effort by "being done". One of my boys is like this. This is the first year that he cares about his grades, also while he and his brother aren't in the same class, they do have the same teachers (they switch for LA and Math/Sci/SS), so he has a head to head comparison with his brother for the first time. It bugs him when Marc does better than he does. For example, on their book report Marcus got a 25/25, and Jon a 24/25--the only reason for the difference, was Jon lost a point for neatness. The kid only has legible handwriting when he is being graded on it, or it affects his grades--otherwise he will do the minimum effort.

My point is, I totally get your frustration, but he needs to be given reasons to care about his output--and at this point, losing playtime seems to be what gets him, so that is what you work with.

 

He opted out, then rushed to finish instead of doing his work. Especially since you are working on him being responsible and producing good work I agree with sending it home. I wish the teachers at our school were a little more like this. Another point is that if he is chatting and not completing his work in class he is affecting other children too.

 

Allison always uses her extra time at school for homework. Zoe on the other hand leaves it all for home then gets cranky that Allison does not have as much. They do homework at the dining room table so while I am doing dishes I can monitor what they are doing. They are absolutly not allowed to rush. They get a small amount of time to play when I get home from work, then homework, then more playtime.

 

I see I'm a little late to this discussion, but I totally agree with Sharon and what she's written. My kids are only in Kindergarten and 1st grade, so I haven't dealt with this with my own children (but have a strong feeling I will with one or both boys!), but as a teacher, I would have done the exact same thing as your son's teacher. If the rushed and carelessly done assignment is accepted as completed work, he learns that it's OK to rush and be careless, as long as he's done. If your intent is to teach him to complete his work, and do it well, he needs to redo that assignment and have the same consequences as if it were never completed to begin with.

From your signature, it appears he's about the same age as my daughter, so I'm guessing he's in 1st grade. My guess is grades aren't really going to matter to him right now; it's too abstract for them at that age. His consequences and rewards need to be at his level and it seems that you and DH have done a good job of creating some that matter to him. If this assignment brought to light a "gray area" that you and DH don't agree on, then maybe you can add "rushed and careless" work to have the same consequences as him not working at all (or not, whatever the two of you decide, but at least you'll know and be better prepared). Then it's spelled out for all three of you. The teacher can continue to send work home that isn't on par for what she accepts, but you and DH will be on the same page in the future as to consequences/rewards if it happens again.