S/O of Twin Birthday's

This also applies to Christmas. My boys just turned 4 last month. When they were babies, it did not really matter when they got a joint gift. But now that they are older, it is starting to annoy me when family give them a joint gift "because they are twins".

Instead of asking me what they are into, people take the easy way out by buying one gift for them to share with hopes that they will both like it. Then they have to open it together and then we have to take turns with it.

For Christmas I did get them a fire house as a joint gift, BUT they also got many individual gifts.

I am not the type of parent who feels they must share everything because they are siblings. If my one DS does not want his brother playing with the robot he got for Christmas, I am fine with that. I do explain how it's nice to share, but if he does not want to, I won't force it.

 

I foresee issues with this myself with my inlaws. My MIL thinks 1 present for them to share is fine, and I completely disagree. Now, for something like your fire house, or like our train table...etc I'm fine with sharing. But at least get them individual books, or puzzles, or games, or trucks to drive....etc to go with the joint gift.

Thankfully the rest of the family is understanding of them being two separate kids, who just happen to have the same birthday. I do however expect all my kids to share most of their toys, with few exceptions. Obviously my oldest doesn't have to share his DS, or his lego's....etc. But the big kids do have to let the little ones play with their remote control cars, or stuffed animals...etc.

 

I think it really depends on the type of gift. Even my older kids (not twins) get plenty of "sharing" kinds of gifts... mostly games, movies, etc. I don't see the need to buy two big sets of Legos, for instance. They'll have more fun working on it together, anyway. But my boys each got their own remote control helicopter. The family got Cars 2 for Christmas. I didn't go buy extra movies, just to have individual gifts. If I do shared gifts for the girls' birthday, I kind of consider that I might spend twice as much on one bigger shared gift as I would on two smaller, individual gifts. And I do usually get them at least one thing for them each to open for themselves. Our birthdays are more low-key than some. They get plenty to open at Christmas!

 

My SIL got my girls a joint gift...one coat...I was shocked! They immediately started fighting over it. She says, " it was such a good price I just couldn't pass it up" ...I pass up good deals all the time if I can't get two. I mean, I wouldn't buy her boys one thing to share. Once they get older, it is so hard to make people understand that twins are no different than two different aged siblings...they just happen to share the same birthday but they are not the same! The girls do share high priced gifts...just as I would make any other siblings share high priced gifts (like a wii for example or their easy bake oven). But clothes and such, it really drives me bonkers when they are expected to share.

 

For big stuff, it's fine.. for small stuff, I think it's kinda rude to be lazy and just bring one gift to be honest... at least they could get two different things or something...

 

I'm fine with joint gifts if it's not something that we'd want two of (for example - we didn't need two car garages, or two Polly Pocket airplanes). Art supplies are fine as joint gifts too. Actually, the more I think about it, I don't really have a problem with shared gifts. But if someone was to give them one coat to share, I'd be a bit annoyed. We bought two dolls for Christmas so they'd each have their own, but other than that, pretty much everything my girls have is shared. It hasn't been a problem yet...

 

My problem isn't having to share a toy, it's giving only one small toy and expect them to share it. We never go two of anything (or very very rarely), and they share everything... but do you see people give just one small gift for two kids of a different age? I haven't, unless it's board games or something... I don't know, I'd still give them two different things that they can share.

But a coat... ugh!!!!

 

oh my, one coat!! now that's one to remember!

I think sharing is good, but I guess unless the item is a large gift I'd think individual gifts are more appropriate, even if it's getting two different puzzles that they are intended to share.

I got the kids blocks for my son and a gender neutral doll house for my dd, I expect them to share toys like that. But not a doll or such.

My parents got the kids a set of waterskis for Christmas! woohoo, a shared gift, and truly you can only use it one at a time, and it doesn't come in the house, I think they got the prize keeping my house clean and the kids being happy with it!

 

That is what drives me :gah: I have many nieces and nephews, some are brothers, brothers & sisters ect. I would never buy them one thing and tell them to share it. They are individual people with different interests. I just wish people would see my boys the same way.

I don't buy huge, expensive gifts for family members but if I did, then of course I could see sharing. But spending $25 on one gift and telling them to share it is what makes me angry.

 

We share big gifts like the toy kitchen and such but otherwise we get them something small of their own. This year they got a geotrax train set from us that I bought from a friend and then my DH found a train table from a neighbor for free! So obviously they are sharing those but we got them something small to open our their own that was just theirs. I would be highly annoyed with 1 coat!! We don't buy 2 of everything but if we know it will be a hit and it's cheap we get 2

 

That's insane!!


Shared gifts should really be for something that both kids can use at the same time. My kids have gotten a sandbox to share, table and chairs, Wii (and games for it). A doll, a shirt, a remote control car...that's an individual gift.

 

I think each kid should get their own gifts for the most part. It would annoy me if people got my kids something and expected them to share one gift. The only exception is big items. We are getting our girls a play kitchen for their birthday but they will also be getting other things individually. Luckily my relative/in-laws have always gotten them each their own gifts so that is nice.

 

i also don't force sharing, tho i point out the benefits of it (i used to always joke that they were great at sharing outer peoples' stuff). anyways, i agree, it's annoying when they get one gift. one card doesn't bug me that much, because i think cards are kind of silly anyways, but one gift seems a little thoughless to me.

 

I think one joint gift is fine if it is something you would only buy one of for a home (a play kitchen, a slide set, a video game set). Otherwise get two smaller gifts for sure. One coat for two kids? That is unbelievable.