spoiling an infant?

Can you hold your baby too much? One of my twins is quite the fussbudget and the only thing that calms him is being held, a lot. I feel guilty he gets more attention than my DD, but mostly i am worried i am teaching him I'll always hold him, and not to self soothe. My babies are 5 weeks old (almost 39 weeks gest adjusted) Is it too early to worry about that?

 

You absolutely can't spoil a child that young. They know nothing of deceit. All you are teaching them is that when something is wrong, they can count on you and trust you to take care of them :wub:

My dd had reflux and colic, and she was held almost constantly from about 5pm until about 9pm every single night. Hubby and I would take turns holding her while the other dealt with the other 3 kids. Eventually she outgrew it. She had plenty of time to learn to self soothe in the later part of the first year.

 

What the Danielle said. You can't spoil a baby.

 

I agree with the others- you can't spoil a baby. Have you tried The Happiest Baby on the Block with him, yet? About 6 weeks was when I finally tried the techniques.

 

Oh Yes, We swaddle, we shh, we shake, we soothe. He isn't so bad, but when he has a wet diaper he works himself into such hysterics it is hard to calm him down. And he wets his diaper every hour. And he can't put himself to sleep, even drowsy, he can only be put down fully asleep. and if he wakes up you have to start over. He has good moods too, but his meltdowns are major, and sometimes he will be so upset he wont breathe. And I literally have to tell him to breathe while he is crying, it can be scary. His sister will fuss and complain but a bath is the only thing that gets her that worked up.
But I don't mind holding him as long as I am not starting some monstrous habit that will be hell to break later.

 

For the not breathing thing - try blowing gently directly into his face. That will often remind baby what they're supposed to be doing.

 

Do you have a sling or wrap?
I suggest you get a good one, and carry him around in it--if he's only 39 weeks gestation adjusted age--he's at the developmental stage to be constantly rocked while you move around during the day. And with your hands freed up by the sling, you can give his sister a little bit more attention. Which will make you feel a little bit better about things.


Oh and no, you can't spoil and infant.

 

All of this! IMO, helping a baby feel secure will help them learn to self-soothe much better in the long run. They end up learning the things that make them feel secure because they've been shown it by example. Some babies and even children need much more physical closeness and affection. Some adults do. It's just part of our individuality. I had one baby (one of my twins) who needed to be swaddled until after NINE months old or she wouldn't go to sleep. She could totally break out of a swaddle by then, but just couldn't quite settle down to sleep at first without it. And by that point, she seemed to kind of recognize that. She is 6 and still super cuddly and needs extra hugs and physical affection to feel loved. That's just part of her personality. One of my boys came unglued if you tried to swaddle him. He's not distant or anything, but still sleeps sprawled out and all over the place. And he likes the occasional, quick hug just fine, but is definitely NOT one for public affection and never has been. He just shows his love in other ways, and responds better to other ways of having it shown to him. He also hated being in a sling of any kind. I was so sad, because I'd LOVED using one with my oldest. Thankfully I got to use them with most of my other children. Spencer is Trey's mini-me though, and also hated the sling.

You're not going to spoil your little ones at all by giving them all the loving care they need and helping them in the way that soothes them the best.

 

My third was like that in the beginning too, I would also recommend a wrap or sling. I use a Moby and he loved it. Now he is content to sit and just watch the chaos of his big brothers!

 

I completely agree with everyone else, it is not possible to spoil a baby that young. As to the above it has been shown in studies that babies who are responded to quickly when they cry end up more secure and self-reliant when they get older. You are definitely doing the right thing holding him if that's what he needs. I like the idea of using a sling for him so that you have your hands free for your daughter too. Also I would ditto what Rachel said about gently blowing in his face when he 'forgets' to breathe, works like a charm.

 

nope. i had same issue. from the get-go one of my DS was fussy unless being held. but it is reassuring for the baby. Nothing wrong with it. They know mommy is there, and mommy is holding them. Nothing like a mom's touch. =)

 

My dh always says that he knows people say you cant spoil a very young baby but some how I have managed too LOL!!!!

I love my moby wrap Easton is happy right here wrapped tight next to me and I can use both hands. Easton is 6 months old now and will still sleep soundly most of the time he is in it. I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!!! All 6 of my kids have been held whenever they wanted me too and every chance I could get and my older kids are very independent and learned to self soothe pretty early on!

With my twins, I had one that was WAY WAY more needy than the other! I always felt guilty because Addison was so laid back and went with the flow and miss Ava had no flow and was super clingy and demanding! I always felt like I put Addison on the back burner or something! She never seemed to mind it was just my thoughts! But at 5 they are really pretty equal - we still do some give and takes but I think that is normal any time someone has more than one child!


CONGRATULATIONS on your babies!!!!!!