Disciplining the No's and the talk back

Any good tips for consistent discipline for those times when you ask them to do something and they repeatedly say no and have that awful little smirk on their face that you wanna wipe off???

Full steam ahead over here. The boys do not want to do anything or say anything but no. With two of them it gets very frustrating, quickly. What works for this? Put them in TO everytime they talk back or say no? Izak told me to "shut-up" today :woah: ... excuse me. :blink:

Oi. Is winter over yet? :wine:

 

I usually acknowledge the no ("I know you don't want to do x, y, z but I have asked you to so please do it."). If I get ignored, or another no, or something ruder, I start to count. If they haven't moved their heiney by 3 they get a TO.

When it comes to attitude, depending on what they say & why I think they've said it, I may just say something like "I know you're angry/annoyed/frustrated about (whatever) but that was rude and you hurt my feelings. Next time you can just say you're frustrated or (whatever)". With my girls I find that sometimes the attitude is just the inability to express a strong emotion in a constructive way. It's a judgement call & if they keep pushing, then they go for TO.

 

This is what I do. I also say, "When Mommy or Daddy asks you to do something, you say 'yes, Mommy/Daddy..'" If the attitude continues, then they go up for a TO or I take a favorite toy away and put that in TO.
I think it's like Rachel said, most of the time it's ability to express a strong emotion properly and some other of the time, it's a test to see how much they can get away with. If I say no to picking up my toys and keep saying no...maybe I'll get out of it...

 

We don't tolerate 'sassy talk' around here. They get a warning and then a time out.

 

We send them to their room, but yeah... it kinda rewards them, as they still won't do what they're supposed to do once in time out. So I ask them to do it again afterwards, and usually after a while they do it... but I'm still struggling with this.

 

The Moms On Call parent coaches taught me to say, "It's not No, it's yes Ma'am/Mommy, and you do it, and I'll help." I've done that a million times, and with me helping them pick up or whatever it is, they always do it. She said that when they're about five, and you've said this five million times, they'll start responding with a "Yes Ma'am", but that remains to be seen...

When I'm helping them do whatever it is, I try to teach them why we're doing what we're doing. I also do like Rachel and talk about the emotion they're feeling, and give them specific things to do and say the next time that situation comes up and we practice it while we're cleaning up, getting dressed, coming inside, etc.

 

To add on to this, anyone have problems with time outs just not working? When my DD gets into a particularly sassy mood, I can put her in time out and she will just turn around and smile. She acts as though it's all a joke. Then, when she acts like that, DS tries to goof off and make her laugh, so the time out completely loses its effect.

We have a lot of problems with them saying no when we try to get them to clean up. One night we took away ALL their toys when they refused to clean up and they acted like they didn't care! Can't wait to see more people weigh in on this!!

 

Crazytwinmomma, make sure she is separated from ds during her time outs. She can laugh and smile all she wants, but the time out is just removing all reinforcement.. The actual name of time out is "time out from positive reinforcement.". If she wants attention and you make sure she doesn't get any, she should stop the sassiness.

 

Some days my boys will sit in TO's okay and others it's a train wreck. They wiggle, giggle and laugh their way out of the TO spot. I will explain to them once that there TO starts over everytime they leave their spot, pick them up and put them back and than start the time over. Sometimes I've had to do this 4, 5 or 9 times but eventually they will sit through it.

Exhausting but I guess consistency is the key. The sassiness and talking back is a doozy. Hard not to let it get to you!

 

Mine learned to take advantage too because I had a CS a month ago and couldn't pick them up to move them. Also couldn't move one into the other room to separate them bc I'd be sitting on the couch nursing when they would start their antics! Ah the life of 3 under 3!