Oh, that ticker!

Now it says "Soon to be head down and making mum walk funny". Oh baby, just FYI, you've been making me walk funny for months already!

Had a midwifery appointment last Monday - all is looking good. I'm now going for biweekly appointments & will very, very shortly be moving to weekly appointments! :blink: I've got that weird thing going on where each day seems to be moving really slow but overall time is flying past like a freight train.

We still have NO idea on a name. DH suggested John Andrew (his dad's & my dad's names) which I don't hate, but is also just slightly too traditional for me. I think I wouldn't mind those as middle names with a more unique/modern name as his first name. I love Emmett but DH vetoed it. Oh well, we'll get there. Hopefully before baby arrives! (Although, if anyone has any suggestions, I'm all ears!) :good:

I just finished typing up the list of Very Important Phone Numbers for the big day - it was rather long! Midwives (x2), birth doula, postpartum doula/videographer, birth photographer, childcare for the older girls, plus alternate childcare options (just in case). And those are just the people coming to the birth! I haven't even started on the list of people we need to contact once baby's here. :laughing: I've already warned people that depending on how I'm feeling on the day of, I reserve the right to kick everyone out of the house - thankfully most of the people coming are doulas so will not take it personally.

I had my first full blown negative reaction to my home birth plans the other day & thought I handled it fairly well (didn't get defensive or alternately start preaching). We were at our regular Wednesday playgroup & I was talking to one of the other mom's about how I definitely won't be having the baby before 37 weeks because that would risk me out of a home birth and another mom (who was there for the first time) looked at me & said "You're having a home birth? That's...crazy." I said "I know a lot of people think that but I feel the same way about hospital births. It's just a different perception & assessment of the risks." And left it at that. :unknw: I mean, I know a lot of people do think I'm crazy for having a home birth, but that's the first time someone's come out & said it point blank. Oh well - I'm sure it won't be the last!

How's everyone else these days?

 

You are so lucky you are doing a home birth! I've gotten comments along the same lines when I've said that I wish I could do a home birth. Unfortunately, my insurance won't cover it and there's no one in the area that does it anyway. The hospital where I will deliver has a 'birthing center' which I've heard from friends is more into the natural births, but who knows. I see a midwife and an OB, both of whom are very pro natural birth and they know that's how I want to go. Most of my friends think I'm crazy (and tell me so) for not wanting an epidural!

My husband left on travel last weekend, supposed to last two weeks and he emailed me this morning saying he might have to stay another week. I am kicking myself for letting him go, I should have known it would never last only two weeks. I know better!! So hopefully my little man will stay put until Daddy gets home.

I can't believe I'm almost done! I can't help but think, what if I don't remember anything about taking care of an infant?? :lol:

 

I don't think I really qualify for a home birth (Vbac) but think it's cool for people who do. I used to think it's weird but watched "The Business of Being Born" about 10 minutes before my water broke with the boys :lol: and it changed my perspective. I did find a teaching hospital who have midwives that have an 80% vbac success rate for my practice. I really hope to avoid an epidural & will be signing up for hypnobirthing classes soon. :clapping:

I can't believe the 20w u/s is this month. I'm so ready to buy little tiny clothes & bedding. (Even though s/he won't be in a nursery until at least 3 months...)

Also, I'm in maternity pants but nowhere near as large as I was with the boys. Sometimes I kind of feel around & 'look' for the giant belly I feel *should* be there, by now!

 

:hug: Rachel and to all you ladies expecting new little ones :wub:
Rachel, I thought you handled the comment about your home birth very well. I wish people would learn to keep their opinions to themselves, but they don't.
Wishing all of you ladies happy and healthy pregnancies & deliveries!

 

Thanks ladies!

Kate - do you have a doula? It would really be worth having that support in place, especially if you're not sure your hubby will be back in time. They can also be an incredible resource for helping cope with contractions without pain medication (lots of ideas & suggestions for positioning & comfort measures, help with focusing breathing, etc). PM me if you would like more info. BTW, I absolutely don't think you're crazy for not wanting an epidural - knowing how I coped with my contractions while labouring with the girls (lots & lots of rocking & moaning) I can not imagine having to sit perfectly still & curled over my belly for 20 minutes while they placed the catheter. I know it's not the usual thought process, but that seems way harder to me than just coping with the contractions. ardon:

Michelle - it's so interesting to me the differences in practice in different areas. Here in Calgary, VBAC doesn't risk you out of a home birth. It sounds like you've found a great practice to work with! I've also heard amazing things about hypnobirthing - I'd love to hear how it works for you after bub arrives. :good: Do you have a doula? Not to sound like a broken record, but it really is worth it. :laughing: Will you be finding out baby's gender if s/he is showing off at the ultrasound or are you going to wait for the surprise?

 

Colorado is terribly regressive about birth. All midwives have to be certified nurses as well. There is 1 birthing center in Denver, which I can't go to b/c I'm 'high risk' with a vbac . I fully plan on going to the hospital as late as I can, comfortably. I do not want to labor in the hospital for hours/days on end.

The epidural didn't bother me last time, but I wasn't contracting while getting it, either. ardon:

I've been thinking about a doula a lot- a postpartum doula could be really useful around here. I know my DH is not going to be the best at labor- he's kind of a stoic guy & labor takes a while. I'm hoping the hypnobirthing classes help me with the pain of labor.

Heck yes I want to know the gender! I haven't bought much of anything yet & am excited to start. :good:

 

Do you think it would be too late to look into a doula at this point? And also, how much do they charge? I know my insurance won't cover it.

I do have some close girlfriends in town that are aware of what's going on (one's husband is with my husband, so that works out!) and they are "on-call." Honestly, I'm a very private person and I would be perfectly willing to have the baby by myself if my husband isn't home, rather than with a doula whom I had just met, ya know? It's certainly a good idea, I just wish the idea had come up a few weeks ago! But then again, the cost thing is a factor. My friend who's husband is with mine joked about coming and staying with me if their trip goes too long, partly to be nearby for my sake and partly because we are just both really lonely! :lol: I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that it all works out.

 

Some doulas are certified as both birth & postpartum so can be with you throughout. It's really, really, really worth it - and because you are going to be VBACing a doula can really be useful in helping to navigate the extra protocols that come along with that. You can probably also find doulas who are either trained in, or at the very least familiar with, the hypnobirthing method so can support you specifically in that.

That's great that you have a friend who can come & be with you. It's definitely not too late to look for a doula! I have doula friends who have been hired only days before the client gave birth and have myself ended up working with a couple as back up, walked into the L&D room, introduced myself and about 10 minutes later mom started pushing. It's definitely nice to be able to have the time to build a relationship, but at the same time there is something very intuitive to doula-ing - a good doula can walk into a labour room & have a sense right away of how best to support a mom/couple.

In terms of cost it really varies by region. I know here in Calgary, we have a number of doulas who volunteer their services for free while working towards their certification, others who are certified but still building experience who will charge anywhere from cost (hospital parking, gas, etc) - $600, while a certified, experienced doula may charge up to $1100. All doulas do some pro bono work as well though & many are willing to work on a sliding scale because part of the doula philosophy is "a doula for every woman who wants one".

If you do decide to contract a doula, submit it to your insurance even if you know they won't cover it. It's one of those things where the more requests a company sees for the service, the more likely they will be to cover it eventually. It's really starting to change in Canada now - there are a number of 3rd party insurers who will cover both birth & postpartum doulas now.

All that being said, if having someone you don't know well is going to hinder you in labour, than as much as I advocate for doulas I might pass in your case. It's much more important that you are able to labour in an environment in which you feel safe & free to cope, move, vocalize, etc however you need to bring baby down & out.

If either of you would like more info on doulas or want to maybe contact some doulas in your area, you can check out www.DONA.org. They are the preeminent certifying body for doulas in North America.

/stepping off the doula soap box now.

 

So, Rachel, how do you feel about doulas? :rotflmbo: It's actually in part b/c of you that I'm thinking so hard about one- I see how passionate you are about the support & while I have a good friend who will be over the moon happy to support me, she's untrained in the doula-ing.

 

The closest person I've had to a doula, would be my friend who was studying to be a nurse asked to be apart of my first birth. She was amazing! I'd choose her any day over my husband, lol at least in terms of knowing what I need and providing it. We don't have doulas or midwives in our area of Canada. I have to travel 4 hours to Winnipeg to have a VBA2C. Not sure how that is going to work when the time comes, plus it's in Feb and the weather could be horrible. The only option I have here is a c-section, unless of course I homebirth unassisted and I don't think I have the strength to do that.

 

I don't know why my insurance doesn't cover doula's, it would be such a great resource for military wives to utilize. Sadly, we can't always guarantee that our husbands will be home for the birth. If I had known earlier in my pregnancy that his deployment would cut this close, I might have put more consideration into a doula. But for me, at this point it is too late, just because I wouldn't want to share something that personal with someone I don't know. I know with the twins, it made me uncomfortable to have so many nurses in and out.

But hopefully Joe will make it home in time and it won't be an issue. Hopefully. Keep your fingers crossed! (I'll be keeping my legs crossed! :lol)

 

I went in for my u/s. My baby has thwarted me. S/he eventually showed everything necessary medically but wouldn't show off. So I'm not sure what it'll be either way. I don't know if/when I'll have another u/s, so I may not know until delivery. :grr: I had not even considered this possibility.

 

I so hope he makes it home!

I remember thinking it had been such a long time that I really wouldn't remember what to do. It all came back very naturally though!

 

Oh no!!! That stinks!

 

Honestly, that sounds like a girl to me! My three boys were never shy during an ultrasound!! You could look into just getting a gender ultrasound if there's a place near where you live.

 

The tech said it's maybe/probably/could be a girl. <_< As I really want a girl, I just can bring myself to go out & get cute little girl stuff & either have to return it or donate it. :tomato:

 

:gah: I'm sorry Michelle.

 

Don't worry, I completely understand. I was hoping for at least a little mystery at my ultrasound, but it was just too obvious that it was a boy. I'll keep my fingers crossed for ya!