Birth Order

I told my girls when they asked. I have a friend who has older twins who has kept it a secret, but I didn't think it was worth the effort to try to keep it a secret. But, the funny thing is that the girls didn't care that M was older, it was "N got to be in Mommy's tummy by HERSELF!" that was the big deal!

 

They know. And it does seem to matter to them... at least to Sydney who is first. She's an hour and 6 minutes older which I have to frequently remind her doesn't amount to a hill of beans. She's a twin which means that for all intents and purposes they're the same age. She is NOT the older sister they way that their older siblings are older. No extra privileges, no reason to be bossy, etc. But she is the bigger sister by a good 18 lbs and 4 inches. She's also much more independent. And Sabrina is legally blind so once in awhile she requires extra help for things. Sydney is more than happy to act the bigger/older sister if there's any reason to, and most of the time Sabrina goes along with it.

 

Mine know which one is older. Occasionally Gabe will say that he is 16 minutes older, but neither of them have any issues (or show that they have any issues) knowing who came out first. They just think it was cool that they were both in Mommy's tummy at the same time and were born on the same day.

 

mine know and have always known. There is no competition or strife about their birth order though. Neither is really older or younger than the other(s) though. A minute, a few hours or even a day does not make a person older or younger than the other.

I think it is all in the attitude of the parent. If we act as though two people born in the same month even one at the start and one at the end are different ages or one is "older" than the other our children will pick up on that and run with it.

We do joke once in a while with them and say one has more permissions because she is older but they are all really the same age.

I have a co worker who is a twin and takes this concept to an extreme. She does not have a great relationship with her twin. She has shared with me on more than two occasions that when she and her twin have had arguments and her twin says she is "smarter" because she is older my co worker shares that her twin being older just means she will go gray and get wrinkles first. The second time she shared this with me I told her "yeah she will go gray and get wrinkles 4 minutes before her. She will have nice warning

Personality is personality. If someone wants to say birth order is the reason for it they can and will especially if the person fits that mold but with multiples it does not really apply.

 

Adrian and I say the same sort of thing (and variations on the theme) relatively often when somebody asks us who is "older". It is a joke and not meant to be taken seriously but invariably people who are not twins take us seriously when we say these sorts of things.

 

:good:

Chloe and I joke like this also, when she says that she was born first because they loved her more I respond with no they wanted to get rid of you and keep me close :laughing:

 

Love it !

 

Mine know, but it's not a big deal to them yet. When I was pregnant, I had a few people ask if we were going to tell them because it could cause conflict. :unsure: Really? I couldn't imagine not telling them with a family as big as mine. Someone would slip up!!

Hmmm...I don't agree with this. One of mine was super dominant early on. They just recently started to realize that one was "born first", but I'm not sure they even understand what it means. And the talk started long after their personalities came out.

There are a set of high school twins the next town over from us that don't know. Their mom is good friend's with my friend and the mom says the "older" one acts like a first born.

 

I'm not necessarily making it a secret, but they've never asked - they know they were in my tummy together but still haven't asked how they got out - although Abby did ask me if I ate them to get them in there :laughing: its OTHER people that ask who is older - Ian is by 2 minutes (he was always baby A) and damn he tries to be dominant, but Abby puts him in his place by tattling on his EVERY infraction!

 

It's what OTHER people say and assume that bothers me. It happened to me growing up, thus the reason it's such a big deal to me. People are constantly asking which one has this personality and which one is opposite. Then they make assumptions on who is older. I'm always saying that my guy's personalities are more identical than their looks. Neither is dominate. It may stay this way, or it may change. People don't need to know who's older. They are the same age. That's all that matters. And if Jess and Josh were to ask, that's how I would answer. I find it comical that people would even care who came out 20 or 30 secs sooner. It doesn't matter.

 

Okay, gotcha. I see where you're coming from now and I totally agree. People definitely do assume.


I have started saying on occasion they were born at the same time.

 

Baby A is awesome but baby B is better

I asked about this in a twin group on FB and the 10 replies right now have said it never mattered really to them. One guy said it bugged him a lot from about 5-9 but got over it since no one treated him any differently. (he was the "middle" with a younger sister) They are in their 40s now and have the most amazing relationship and are the KINGS of the twin community.

 

We just let you think that