Hello, new here...would love suggestions

Following all the nanny comments I thought I would comment. I used to be a nanny. I was sharing time between two families so on most days I had five kids to care for (sometimes seven in the holidays with their cousins) We sat down at the beginning and worked out a set schedule for what the families wanted. Ie Mondays - library, tuesdays - gymnastics, etc. I drove their van (Due to the number of children) and all activities were in the morning. Naps were flexible due to the different ages. I did light housekeeping for both houses depending on where we were that day and prepared dinner for one of the families. (One started earlier in the morning and finished earlier) We also did some errands like posting mail, picking up items, etc. Easy stuff that the kids enjoyed doing too. My point is that if you can find a good nanny they should be able to do what you would normally do if you were home and leave you just spend relaxing time with your kids. They should work completely around your family needs and be doing activities that enrich YOUR children's lives. I have done daycare in my home too once I had my older two. And their care was based around my children's needs. ie the activities they did, my household needs, etc. A good nanny is an awesome option if that is available to you and I would choose that without a doubt. A good nanny should also be working towards them having the best amount of sleep during the day that suits them and that should help with their night sleeping too. Good luck.

 

I agree your nanny should do light housekeeping, even if it is just the twins' stuff. My nanny does their laundry, including linen, keeps their bedroom clean, and cleans any mess they make during the day. She even cooks for them if need be. The little extra it costs to have a nanny at home is definitely worth it. I must admit that finding the right person is very important (she is the second nanny we have). She loves them and is very proud of their achievements. The twins each has a little book and she writes in it what happened during the day. She records nap times, nappies, meals, medication given and anything else. If we don't have time to discuss everything when I get home, I just look in their little books and know what happened during the day.

 

You sound miserable...a few things (sorry I havnt read prior posts if I sepeat anything). Not sure if its even a consideration...but we gave our dog to a loving home after the twins. He was just added stress and noise for me. I was/am already losing my mind.

Your boys are waaaay overtired...get them to bed a soon as you get home. We are talking 5:30- 6pm. Until they can get themselves together. Babies thrive on early bedtimes.

"No Cry Sleep Solution" if you can't do cry it out. Takes FOREVER for it to finally work, but your boys will get it eventually.

When you say you have tried CIO have you REALLY been consistent. If your one pukes, clean him up change the sheets and put him back in there...brutal I know, and many would disagree, but this is my opinion. I have a puker, too. It doesnt mean they are fragile. Just means they have a sensitive gagger. But 5 nights and he should be golden.

 

I've been waiting for someone to say something about the dogs. I know I will be attacked for even suggesting it because I know how folks feel about their animals, but here goes: You gotta get rid of those dogs. Your physical health, your mental health, your job, your marriage, and your children's physical and psychological development are on the line here. You cannot take care of 4 dogs with health issues to boot. You just can't. Something's gotta give, and since you can't quit your job, your marriage, or your children, it's gotta be the dogs.

 

I read this last week, but was busy with a conference at work, so I couldn't respond. My first thought was also--I'm a dog person. A total dog lover, I've even been called a dog whisperer. And I think you have to seriously consider giving up the dogs. I know they are your first babies. But you went and changed the rules on them. I don't think that's fair to your dogs--or your kids. Giving up a pet does not mean that you don't love it, in cases like this it might be the most loving thing you could do for them.
Unfortunately since some of them are older, you may have a hard time finding the right home.

Another thing to consider, especially since you are older and you said you hadn't planned on having kids. Everything about your life will have to be different now. Things will never get back to the way they were before you had two babies. Your career, your social life, your eating and sleeping habits, your relationship with your pets and even your relationship with your spouce--that's all going to be differernt. Maybe better, maybe worse--but either way different. You know that saying, desparate times call for desparate measures. Rather than struggling until you are at your wits end trying to keep everything in your old life together, grasping at straws and parenting books trying to find the magic trick that will work for you--it just might be time to tear it all down and re-invent your life, your career, your home, you already re-invented your family. Going from a couple, to a two child family in one shot. Now find a way to fit the rest, around that.

 

I am also an older mom and after 17 years of marriage our lives were forever changed by having twins. I wanted a family, but it does not make it easier, just adds to the mommy guilt when I do get impatient etc with them. We had to sit down and work at ways to preserve some of our sanity, from planning meals to budgeting for a babysitter once a month. Look at ways that you can make life easier for all of you. It is important that you spend some time on your own doing something that you like doing, even if it is going for a walk on your own.