Slapping Me

I'm so tired of S slapping me- it happens at home, too, but more and more it's in public. Yesterday at the grocery store he was in the kid part of the cart and doesn't hesitate to slap. I hold his hands still so he can't do it and tell him he can't hit mommy, but am wondering if there is anything else I'm missing.

Help.

 

How do you discipline for slapping at home versus it happening in public? I'm just wondering if he's learning the difference and feels that you will be more lenient when he slaps in public versus at home.
I think holding his hands and telling him not to hit Mommy is a good idea. I would also say that you could try putting a favorite toy in time out.

 

Does he do it when he seems angry, frustrated, etc., or is more of a playful/mischievous thing? How I would address it would depend on why I thought he was doing it.

Toddlers that age really do not get "no." They might grasp that you don't like a certain behavior, but it doesn't make much difference in how often they do it (or they might do it more often just to get your attention!).

ETA: I also don't think they understand time-out or consequences, especially not delayed consequences, until at least age 3 -- but I may be in the minority in that.

It can help if you can give him a positive instruction, like "Hold this" (if he needs something to do with his hands) or "Keep your hands inside the cart." Or, if he's feeling frustrated, try to figure out why, and address that. He may just be bored, in the shopping cart at least.

Good luck -- being slapped (or hit, or poked, or kicked, or bitten, all of which I've been on the receiving end of many times!) is no fun.

 

:acute: I agree with all of the above. My guys think it's funny to hit; they almost never do it out of anger. This doesn't make it any more enjoyable though! <_< They would usually do it when I was holding them, so I would tell them, "if you hit Mama, I will put you down", then follow through if they did it again. I'm a big believer in logical consequences, and I'm with Alden about timeouts; they just were not effective for my boys until very recently (they just turned 3). At your guys' age, I would probably tell them "we don't hit", and come up with an age-appropriate consequence. It might even just be that you stop the cart, move far enough away that you can't be hit, and tell him that you're not moving again until he can keep his hands to himself. That might be enough!

Good luck!

 

One thing we have been trying to the moment is saying "hugs not hits" everytime it happens and then having a hug. My other children have been repeating it too so the message is coming from all angles. I tend to get fustrated really quickly in these situations and it's easy to fall back onto a one liner statement so I don't get worked up. It's also a positive way to deflect Good luck

 

I would ignore and calmly re-direct to a more appropriate behavior, "we don't hit - we give high fives (or hugs)" and then high five or hug away. I find that trying to hold down their hands to keep them from swatting at you just makes it into a game. Especially in public, you aren't really trying to DISCIPLINE, but just to end the behavior so you can finish your shopping trip without wanting to crawl into a hole in the ground

 

I've been pretending to cry...and tell him it hurts, don't do it. In the meantime I am holding his hand and gently showing him how he can gently caress my face and then I smile.
Now most of the times I just say, be nice and he gets it right away. I try to show him the difference in my reaction to his behaviour.