problem :(

I posted a few weeks ago about how I let my baby spend the night out and sent formula with him. He was fine. The next night I went to the grocery store in the evening and while I was gone my husband gave him a bottle of formula and put him to bed. So I figured it was a nice break for me once a day anyway so he's been getting 1 bottle a day, before bed. This started a little over 2 weeks ago.

Fast forward to now and he doesn't want to nurse anymore. :cry: When he was a newborn I could do a combination of bottle and breast and he was fine. I didn't see this coming. When I try to nurse him he squirms and tries to roll over and doesn't want the right one at all, and is better on the left but not every feeding. He's doing better today than he did yesterday. Yesterday I didn't get a good nursing session with him the entire day. And we were busy yesterday so he wound up getting 3 bottles. By the evening I got emotional about it and decided I'd rather get up with him in the night than give him another bottle before bed so I nursed him but he cried so much that we made him formula in a sippy cup. That just made him even more fussy but he fell asleep out of exhaustion I guess. Today I had a good nursing session with him first thing when he woke up, then again mid-morning. Then I went to the gym and the grocery store and gave my husband instructions NOT to give him a bottle while I was gone but he could have baby food if he was hungry. So when I got home he had a good nursing session and went for his nap. But when he got up from his nap he screamed and cried at the breast until I gave him a 6 ounce bottle.

Obviously he likes bottles better than breastfeeding now. How do I get him back off the bottles? I only want to make it a few more months. What should I do? I can't just let him scream while I try to nurse him and I don't get much when I pump. :cry: Has my milk dried up? I also strongly suspect he is teething right now. He has no teeth and has had a runny nose and been fussy.

 

Not to worry, my dear. This is fixable! The ones that really worry me are kids who have never nursed- Cooper knows how. He just doesn't want to anymore, which could be from teething.

Do you give him anything for pain like 1/2 hr before nursing? I had to do this for what seemed like weeks on end with mine & it really helped. I think we could have bought stock in infant Tylenol at the time.

I do not for one minute think your milk has dried up. You nurse too consistently for that to have happened.

What I would do- either throw out the bottles altogether, or drive them to a relative who doesn't live close by to you where it won't be a temptation to use them. Ditch those bottles and for 2 weeks make a commitment that he won't have one. Doesn't matter if he cries. He can cry, but he'll adapt. He has the skills to do this, he just needs to be nudged.

:youcandoit:

 

You know what it's like when they do that really desperate cry, right? Like not the whine-cry but the "I'm starving" all out fit cry? That's what he does. It is the worst sound on earth.

So what you're saying is to just let him do that cry and eventually he'll stop, right? And that I'm not starving him, right?

I had no idea he'd like bottles so much.

I wish you could come to my house and cheer me on next feeding. I've got motrin, I'll give him some before his evening feed.

:cry:

 

:hug:

Yup, I know that cry. It's awful. & he may genuinely be in pain from the teething. Don't discount that- you can treat it with Tylenol or the drops or Ambisol? (sp?) during the day. Whatever it takes to get him comfortable so that he can nurse. When he's bottlefed, is he sitting up more? I wonder if the position of nursing (I'm assuming laying down) is bugging him. Can you try where he sits on your lap, facing you like this (not the best pic, I know). The blog entry isn't bad, either- I like the teeth chart.

S had that crying, screaming, pull out your hair b/c he's not eating- thing, in the newborn stage, but the difference was he didn't know how to nurse. So I did pump and give him 1/4 ounce from a bottle so he'd start sucking. But once he 'got it' I didn't do that anymore.

:youcandoit: :youcandoit: :youcandoit: :youcandoit: :youcandoit:

 

I agree with Michelle - totally fixable! :hug: Here's some great tips from Kellymom on ways to soothe baby's gums before nursing when they're teething. Also, at the bottom is a link to a page on tips for when baby is refusing to nurse.

 

On the right side especially, he wants to sit up and nurse. But more specifically, he wants to sit up and nurse, but then turn his head and rest his cheek on my breast so it really pulls my nipple to the side and makes me think he isn't getting much. It doesn't seem to be a very efficient position. He's okay lying across me on the left side. I've always nursed him cross cradle hold with a boppy. I love it that way. It's making me so emotional that he doesn't want to do it any more.

It's 3:30 and I just gave him a dose of motrin. At 4 I am going to nurse him, then do baby food, then I'm going to take a bath with him and try to nurse him in the tub. Usually I don't do this b/c of the possibility of him pooping or peeing on me but I read on kellymom to try it.

1 day of him getting mostly bottles and I chalked it up to a bad day. But now it's more than that and I don't like it. I feel guilty too like I'm being selfish by not giving him bottles, like I should just be glad that he is willing to eat. Thank goodness no one is here today except for my immediate family so I won't have anyone judging me later if he starts screaming again. No one but the harshest judge of all - myself!

 

Aimee, how did it go today? Did nursing in the tub help?

 

I just wanted to cheer you one! You can do this! One of my LOs had a phase of preferring the bottle to the breast too. Despite the heart-break of letting the baby cry, our rule was: no bottle when mom is available for nursing (or will very shortly return). That worked within a few days. If he wants to rest his cheek on your breast while nursing I agree that could be teething. Maybe offering him a naked arm to lean against instead would help to get him in a better position for sucking? We experimented with some pretty strange positions for a while. GL!

 

The tub was a joke! He gets in the pool with us regularly, so all he wanted to do in the tub was splash and kick around. I tried nursing him but he was too busy playing.

Here is what I think I'm doing wrong now. Tell me what you think. I'm having a lot of anxiety about this, he's breaking my heart. So I think I'm trying to nurse him too frequently and maybe he's just not hungry? Like Michelle said in a pp, he knows how to nurse, if he was hungry wouldn't he do it?

So yesterday I nursed him at 4 and he did okay, then he ate his baby food. Then some time goes by of course when the girls and I ate and then I got in the tub with him and that was an epic fail but then after I put him in his jammies he nursed a little bit again and went to bed around 6:30 pm. But then he was up at 8:30 screaming. I got out the motrin but it said no more than every 6 hours. So I nursed him as best I could and he did nurse a little bit on both sides but toward the end as he was nursing he was even whining on the breast. By this time I had to put the girls to bed too (DH is working the night shift right now so I'm pretty much on my own 24/7) so I had to put him in his crib and he was screaming bloody murder and it was really disrupting the girls so I made him 4 ounces of formula. :gah: I put the bottle on the table next to the glider and as soon as he saw it he tried to lurch out of my arms for it! He is breaking my heart. At least I nursed him before he got the bottle and I only put 4 ounces in it. He guzzled that 4 ounces down and went to sleep.

This morning when he got up he didn't nurse very well. I'm going to try again before I give him his baby food breakfast. I am starting to think he's just not hungry enough and I'm offering it too much? He's never been a baby who starts to cry before he is fed. Usually I can tell when he starts acting hungry but now I'm doubting myself. Stupid teething.

Today I'm going to try again to do no more bottles. Yesterday was a fail but not as bad as the day before so at least that's something. Sorry this is so long and thank you all for reading and trying to help.

 

I don't doubt that teething really hurts and it may hurt him. You don't have to use as many facial muscles to nurse as you do to drink a bottle.

You can alternate Tylenol and Motrin every 3 hours- see if that helps him along with the pain. I also forgot- Rachel's link is good- don't use Ambisol/Orajel- it made my boys numb and unable to nurse. Do you have those milk drop things? They are homeopathic but super great.

 

You can do this! This is very common. My DS went on a total nursing strike when he was 9 months old...acted like I was killing him if I even put him in the position to nurse. He was sick, had an ear infection, and I yelped when he bit me...these together scared him away. I couldn't even cut out the bottles completely bc I was working so I just did lots of cuddling, lots of skin to skin (I would even play with them shirtless to allow easier access LOL) and after about a week he came back like nothing was wrong. He continued to nurse till he was 19 months! Try not to beat yourself up. I did a lot of crying because I felt so rejected. The more upset you are, he will sense it and get upset too. If it continues it might be worth having his ears looked at. Hope it gets better soon!

 

So this says to me that yesterday was a success because it was a step forward from the day before! These sorts of things don't resolve all at once - it's a two steps forward, one step back kind of thing. Not to mention you need to keep yourself sane too. And with DH working the night shift, you do what you need to do while keeping your long term goal of getting Cooper back to the breast full time in mind. You're doing great Aimee! Please don't doubt yourself. :hug:

Have you tried, when he's really upset, letting him have a couple of sucks from a bottle, just to help him calm down, and then trying him back at the breast? Also, I would say it's probably fine to continue offering to nurse frequently, just try to not be upset or take it amiss if he doesn't nurse really well, or only nurses for a short period. At 7 months old it's amazing how efficient nursing babies are!! I bet if we could measure how much milk Cooper's getting in those shorter nursing sessions, you'd be pleasantly surprised.

:youcandoit:

 

This! It's so ironic b/c I never BF'd the girls, and I couldn't wait for them to be off bottles and done with formula. I was just reading my SIL's fb status, her baby just turned 1 and she is so thrilled to be done with bottles and on to sippy cups. It's not the same this time! I am so not ready for him to stop nursing! :cry:

I have him on me and both girls are close by so I can't investigate further right now but Michelle what milk drop thingy are you talking about? I gave him a frozen teething ring yesterday and he gummed it up, before the 4 pm feeding so I think that it really helped him. I hope you are right Rachel and that those little sips are adding up. He always initially latches on but doesn't stay very long.

I'm just going to keep trying. I'm not feeling as emotional about it as I was yesterday, or the day before when I was convinced he wanted to wean. I started crying on the way home from the pool in the car. I think it's affecting my hormones or maybe I am about to get a period again? I don't know.

 

Nothing to add really, just saying we've also been through this and cheering for you now!

:youcandoit:

 

These are Hyland's Teething Tablets.

 

Oh yeah I have those and he seems to really like them. He was so loud with crying this afternoon that he woke up DH. The only thing that calmed him down was a bottle. But as long as he doesn't wake up at 8 pm screaming he only got 1 bottle today, so that's 1 less than he got yesterday and 3 less than he got the day before so we're still going in the right direction. I hope he doesn't wake up at the girls' bed time.

 

Hugs Aimee. I hope he nurses better tomorrow.

 

I LOVE those tablets but was told at Vitamin Cottage that they no longer have the tablets on the shelves. I got the gel but don't think it works as well. Can you still get the tablets?

 

I just read that they will be back soon. They were recalled

 

:hug: Amy! I hope tomorrow goes even better! It sounds like each day it is improving!

 

Aw, I thought they were back already. Well, there is another brand that is liquid and- I used it when the boys were dairy free. Mine was available at Whole Foods.

 

Amy,


I always used a cold wet washcloth. Put it over your finger and then give him a little gum massage. Push all that fluid out so that when he goes to latch he doesn't experience discomfort.
At 7 months, Id throw away every bottle you own!!!! He's been a great nurser his whole life. If you feel like he needs something provide it in a CUP. Trust me on this one. You don't want to have to wean from the breast, the bottle and then to the cup. Eventually you will want to just go Breast --> CUP. DONE.

The other things that I can think of, he's at a REALLY distractible stage.... maybe he likes the bottle because he can wander with it? or hold it himself? Have you tried nursing in a quiet, calm place? Maybe wear a fun necklace that he can play with while he nurses?

Formula will keep him fuller longer, so he wont be ready to nurse as frequently as he would be on breastmilk alone. Hang in there,

 

Yeah Jess that's a good point and I don't really want to go from breast to bottle to cup. It's just when he gets to that inconsolable crying it's like I'm just doing anything I can to get him to stop. He did not wake up when the girls went to bed last night. He went 6p - 6:30 am and he was soaked when he woke up. He only got 6 ounces of formula all day yesterday so the majority was from me. He seems to be doing better this morning, he nursed fine when he woke up. I didn't know I was giving him recalled teething tablets!

I don't let him wander with the bottle. I hold him on the boppy the same as I do when I BF him when he gets a bottle. I really think what it's about is how fast the milk comes out of the bottle. He's a little piggy. It's either the fast flow from the bottle or it doesn't bother his mouth as much b/c he barely has to suck on the bottle to get it out. I don't even have a "proper" bottle. I use a Dr. Brown's actual bottle part but none of the insides are in it. The nipple is just one of those disposable nipples you get in the hospital.

Hopefully today he won't need a bottle at all. But if he starts getting frantic I'm going to try a cup.

 

Aimee-
sorry Ive been MIA a few days. How have things been going?
If its a flow thing 2 things you can try are:
1. Breast compression while nursing to help get the flow out
2. switch back and forth multiple times between breast. It helps get multiple letdowns without a ton of work on his part.

Any Chance your period could be resuming?

 

I just saw this post and didn't read all the responses, but at one point when my dd was teething at about 10 mo. she fussed and screamed and yet wouldn't nurse... ugh! she would go to sleep and I'd just nurse her in her sleep and she nursed fine. I think her teeth were hurting her and when she slept she would nurse perfectly. What was interesting, about this time... I think my supply might have been low b/c I got my period back soon after so maybe it was a supply thing a bit too.

anyway sounds like you are doing great! I saw the Hylands recall too - ugh! I used several bottles during the time my two were teething! when you read about it, it's b/c a possibility of issues, IF a child takes 1000 pills! basically they said that would be 5 bottles worth.

yes, I saw that they are coming out with a different formula in August. there are other teething products out there. good luck! I hope things are going great! Yeah, you don't want to stop now! I hope you have a long and happy bfing time still!

 

Thank you for all of the support. We are doing a lot better this week. I think my husband was sort of wanting me to wean him. So we have reached a happy medium. I nurse him all day, then I nurse him before and after his dinner but after I am finished nursing him in the evening DH makes him a bottle and feeds him and rocks him til he's asleep. When I go somewhere during the day and leave him here he does not get a bottle. He's not a starving kid, I'm never gone for that long.

I told DH a little fib. :lol: I know that he loves the fact that Cooper is meeting all of his milestones early. He's so proud, I can tell. So I told him - you know that he's probably doing things so early b/c he's BF'd. He regulates how much he's getting so he's the perfect size for his frame, not too fat and probably just the right muscle tone so he can coordinate his movements better. If we put him on bottles he probably wouldn't be so far ahead. :laughing:

I think he believed me too b/c he hasn't been giving him any bottles when I'm not home.

Thanks for your support this forum is so helpful. I was really feeling down last week but this week he is back to nursing like normal.

 

:yahoo: I'm glad you've found something that works for all of you! And I love what you told DH - not much of a fib at all.

 

I'm glad to hear he's back to normal. I don't think that's a fib at all either!

My husband was starting to get on me about weaning Drex. Then I read that Michael Jordon was breastfed until he was 3. And Péle (the most famous soccer player of all time, the Michael Jordon of soccer) was breastfeed until he was 5. And now he's all for extended breastfeeding!

We just have to put it in words they can relate too. :bubble:

 

:rofl: Exactly. My husband LOVES soccer I'm going to use that one. :good:

 

You know something else you can do, that I forgot about, get a slow flow bottle nipple, so it's not any faster than nursing. Get the stage one or preemie flow nipples if he's getting a bottle.

I hope it works out well. I like the way you got the DH on board.